Autocratic Parenting Is Strict, Permissive Is Lenient And Authoritative Or Active?

Autocratic Parenting Is Strict, Permissive Is Lenient And Authoritative Or Active?

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My mom often tells the story of the time my Grandma said to her, “You are too strict with your children, and Margie is too lenient with hers.” My mom asked her which was better strict or lenient, and where the middle ground was. (Rasmussen) I would say autocratic parenting is strict, permissive is lenient and authoritative or active is the middle ground my mom looked for and I believe found. On the discussion board this week Rebecca Wilson presented an idea that explains “Active Parenting” (Popkin) perfectly. She said, “I heard another talk not too long ago where I learned that I need to trust my kids. They were there in the pre-existence and made the choice to follow Christ. Now I need to have faith, that given the opportunity, they will choose Christ again. That is a hard one for me. I just want my kids to make the right choices and to know they are safe. Sometimes parenting takes A LOT of faith!” (Wilson, 2015) I would classify my parents as ones who trusted and had faith in my ability to choose as demonstrated by their mostly “authoritative or active” style.
One summer night when I was in Middle School, my parents let me stay the night at the home of a family I typically babysat for. Their step-sister, Brandi, was visiting for the summer and she and I had become friends. Brandi and I were sitting in the backyard when her step-mom, D’, came out. I remember that we discussed different ideas of things we could do that evening when D’ suggested we go toilet-papering. I knew that my sister and her friends were sleeping out in a tent in our backyard and that an older neighbor girl, Michelle, could open our gate without me getting the key to the lock. Michelle was strong enough to lift up on the latch with the lock stil...


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I was blessed through my parents desire to find the middle ground between strict or autocratic and lenient or permissive. They are active parents. Elder Hales teachings in his talk “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty” seem to call for active parenting, “It is frightening to allow our children to learn from the mistakes they may make, but their willingness to choose the Lord’s way and family values is greater when the choice comes from within than when we attempt to force those values upon them. The Lord’s way of love and acceptance is better than Satan’s way of force and coercion, especially in the rearing teenagers.” (Hales, 1999) I often tell people that I love my agency, but I don’t love that my children have theirs; however I know I need to be more authoritative or active in my parenting style so my children can grow and learn.
















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