Autobiography It was my birthday when I found out that we were moving for sure. My world felt like it was just crashing down. Things my parents said echo throughout my head. “Washington was never any good for anyone,” and “Iowa is a dead state anyway, there’s nothing here for you.” I was sitting back, hoping no one would notice the tears that were flooding my eyes. There were at least ten thoughts going through my mind at once. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. This was my home; this was where I had grown up. When my parents broke the news to me, I knew my life would never be the same. I wouldn’t get to visit my friends, or my family as often as I’d like anymore. So I thought. The next couple months after that my older sister, …show more content…
It was making me sick. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t even focus on my school work. I was so close to failing everything. My heart was sinking farther and farther down. It was almost as if I had been poisoned. I was shutting down. My heart couldn’t take all the emotions I was feeling. It was then I realized to make anything better for myself I had to open up to my sister and explain everything my heart and mind was thinking about. Later, after I had opened up to my sister, we talk about it all. She made me realize she didn’t do it because she felt obligated to, but she did it because she wanted to. Suddenly, it feels as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I could feel what it was to laugh again. She wanted me here as much as I wanted to be here and I wouldn’t trade the hardships with my sisters over anything. After all the talks my sister had with me, she was no longer my sister, and was no longer my caregiver, she was my best friend. This is something that had never occurred to me before. It was terrifying. I had never really been one to open up to anyone. In my family, silence was key to everything. That’s always how I’ve been taught to get through
My mom picked me up at the end of the day and I could tell by her body language that something was wrong. I asked and she began to cry hysterically and through her sobs I heard that my brother was moving to Ohio. I began to sob too because the person I felt closest to was leaving us and we had to hear it from someone else. When my brother got home he said something that tore a hole in my chest. When my mother asked, “Are you picking her over us, your family?” he responded “Yes.” I remember feeling as if I was going to faint. I remember thinking how could my brother choose her over us. This was a negative time in my life because my brother is the person I went to for everything and the thought of him leaving us broke my heart. During this negative time I had to build resilience. I did this by embracing change, being optimistic and creating a strong social network. To embrace change I sat down and thought about how my brother was feeling. I thought of how he must feel, he is leaving his whole life behind for a girl who it might not even work out with. I thought about how it impossible to things to always
Before, I could even take note, it was already October. It was time for me to pack everything in my room, and say my final goodbyes to my family members. I was going to leave everything that meant a lot to me behind. Previously, before October, we picked up my dad from the airport so that he could help us load all of our belongings to the U-Haul truck. Lily, ‘my cousin’, (we aren’t related, she is just a very close friend who I consider family) was staying with use because she want to see her father, who was also living in Denver. My mom and dad, sister, uncle, cousin, and I all stayed at the house one last night. I remember that my sister said that all her friends gathered around my mom’s car to wave goodbye to her. Her closest friends got very emotional and they started to cry. Not only did the move affect me, it also affected my sister greatly. It was like someone had given her a punch in the stomach. By the next day, we had everything in the U-Haul truck, and it was time for me to leave my precious Vegas behind. We had now started the drive to
Everything is perfectly fine, everything is great, then one day it all comes crashing down and shattered pieces are left. My life would never be the same but I guess change is for the best and it forced me to become the person I am today. It’s rough to be the oldest child, especially when your mom is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and you have 3 younger sisters that look to you for comfort when their mom can’t be there. When the cancer is spread throughout your moms body doctors can’t just get rid of it no matter how badly you wish they could. Rounds of chemotherapy only slow it down, yet it’s still there a lurking monster waiting to reappear at any given moment. Nothing can even begin to describe the fear I felt, and still have to deal with today, but something happened where I could be there for others. What would Sheridan think, or what would 8 year old Lane think if they saw me cry? I had to be Strong not only for me, but for my other family members.
Soon thereafter my parents split up and I could feel their discord; like vibrations of hate upon snapping wires. They seemed to become somehow physically incapable of co-habiting the same spaces. It was as if something physiological that was once inside them was taken from them. Stolen was that strange organ that makes people feel the sincere need to be near someone else. As I grew older I began to observe my mother and her bizarre behaviors. Her anxious isolations and her pill bottle like a Xanax Barbie stuck to her hand. She was always so far away from me. I would sit and wonder where she would go; off to some corner of her mind where up was down and all the wrong in life was right. She was safe behind a closed door; in silence and stillness. I was always alone; and always lonely, with my mother in the next room. She may as well have been a million miles away from me. The older I got the colder the hugs became; it was like she was tired of faking it.
Right when he said that, I felt like a real mother. Then, I made a horrible realization. My prized possession; the picture of my mother and father, was in our room. I could not leave that behind. If I was going to die, I wanted to do it with them in my hand. Before I went back, I made sure that my brothers were safe. I put them on a lifeboat, hugged them, and said goodbye. I quietly prayed that this moment would not be the last time I saw them. Quickly, I ran as fast as I could back to the room.
The ride home had been the most excruciating car ride of my life. Grasping this all new information, coping with grief and guilt had been extremely grueling. As my stepfather brought my sister and I home, nothing was to be said, no words were leaving my mouth.Our different home, we all limped our ways to our beds, and cried ourselves to sleep with nothing but silence remaining. Death had surprised me once
I sat in my bed and questioned what purpose I held not only in my household, but also in the world around me. Being young and not understanding what you were put on the Earth to do is hard, and I really feel for my 8 year old self. At 8 you should be enjoying life without stress. An 8 year olds’ biggest worry should be whether they are going to play at the neighbor’s house or stay in and watch their favorite movie. Life didn’t come as easy to me, but this is also not to say that I was the only 8 year old struggling in the world. I knew that I shouldn’t have been feeling the way that I was, but at the same time I also didn’t know how to fix
My friend had noticed my morose nature which was mind boggling to me. I had thought my face was pellucid of these feelings, especially since, around others I was boisterously exuberant and always laughing. For seven hours, we were on the phone talking about everything underneath the sun, it was the first time I had opened up to someone, and rather than judge me, Sam fought for me. She fought for me to understand that although the trials of my family were laborious and painful, it did not make the abuse any less repugnant. Sam believed in me, disagreed with me and altered my life’s
When I was younger I thought my sister was always going to be there. I never thought she would die so young. She died when I was in 5th grade so I was around 10 or 11 years old. We had our fights and now I wish more then anything that she was here. She missed my first homecoming, my graduation and many other important dates in my life and there is still more she will miss. Now that I'm the only child in my household, it’s terrible because...
Everything seems like it’s falling out of place, it’s going too fast, and my mind is out of control. I think these thoughts as I lay on my new bed, in my new room, in this new house, in this new city, wondering how I got to this place. “My life was fine,” I say to myself, “I didn’t want to go.” Thinking back I wonder how my father felt as he came home to the house in Stockton, knowing his wife and kids left to San Diego to live a new life. Every time that thought comes to my mind, it feels as if I’m carrying a ten ton boulder around my heart; weighing me down with guilt. The thought is blocked out as I close my eyes, picturing my old room; I see the light brown walls again and the vacation pictures of the Florida and camping trip stapled to them. I can see the photo of me on the ice rink with my friends and the desk that I built with my own hands. I see my bed; it still has my checkered blue and green blanket on it! Across from the room stands my bulky gray television with its back facing the black curtain covered closet. My emotions run deep, sadness rages through my body with a wave of regret. As I open my eyes I see this new place in San Diego, one large black covered bed and a small wooden nightstand that sits next to a similar closet like in my old room. When I was told we would be moving to San Diego, I was silenced from the decision.
In March of 1998, my father was rushed to the hospital because of a heart attack. I remember getting home from basketball practice without my mother home. Instead, my sister was there with her children. The fact that my sister was there was familiar to me, but something did not seem right. My sister stayed with me and did not tell me what happened. Later that night, after my sister left, the news that followed would prepare me to encounter the most defining moment of my life.
Two-thirds of children who participate in extracurricular activities are expected to attain at least a bachelor’s degree, whereas only half of children that do not participate do (National Center for Education Statistics, 1995). Childhood is a very important time in our lives, a time when we develop many vital skills that follow us into adulthood. Some people laugh or scoff at us parents that keep our children to busy schedules. Those same people would also argue that our children should be allowed to have a childhood, to not be so tightly scheduled in their daily lives. Before jumping on that bandwagon, I would suggest doing a little research. Participating in after-school activities has shown to benefit children in many ways. Children should
My stomach weakens with a thought that something is wrong, what would be the answer I could have never been ready for. I call my best friend late one night, for some reason she is the only person’s voice I wanted to hear, the only person who I wanted to tell me that everything will be okay. She answer’s the phone and tells me she loves me, as I hear the tears leak through, I ask her what is wrong. The flood gates open with only the horrid words “I can’t do this anymore”. My heart races as I tell her that I am on my way, what I was about to see will never leave my thoughts.
The most important event in my life, didn’t even happen to myself, but happened to my older sister, Becky. The reason I am writing about her is because the things that have happened to her and the things she has done in the past have affected me tremendously as well as my family. Her life used to be filled with nothing else but drugs, stealing, and lying. My family has never been the same since then.
I never really thought about where my life was going. I always believed life took me where I wanted to go, I never thought that I was the one who took myself were I wanted to go. Once I entered high school I changed the way I thought. This is why I chose to go to college. I believe that college will give me the keys to unlock the doors of life. This way I can choose for myself where I go instead of someone choosing for me.