Aunt Celia Doesn't Look Like That Anymore

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Aunt Celia did not look like herself anymore, but after another six months they said that she was better or at least well enough to go home.

Leah had a lot of fears about returning the babies to Celia. Again there were a lot of discussions and family meetings about how, if and when the children should return. Eventually it was agreed that the babies should return to their mother. But Aunt Celia, she just could not get over what had happened and did not have it in her to care for one baby much less two.

It ate her up, tore up her inside.

The children were being affected by her grief and unintentional neglect; nevertheless neglect is neglect and after the third breakdown Leah went to the authorities with her concerns. She was eventually made guardian for the children.

If Aunt Celia had been ripped apart before, that ripped her apart even further.

It was after she had lost the children that the suicide thoughts and attempts started. How it presented itself enticing her at each opportunity; it offered her relief over and over, it spoke to her pain reassuring her that death would be better. It should and would have happened so easily, but something beyond her control kept her through each enticement.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

There were days when all Celia could do was ask God why? She was never a bad person, so why would something like this happen to her. Her thoughts did not help her. She became so angry, the kind of anger that turns in on itself, attacking her, eating her inside. She would think about how hard, cold and uncaring God was, because he allowed it all to happen.

Celia spent so many days curled up, crying till her eyes were raw red. They became an endless flowing red river.

She had become weakened by her grief a...

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...o wonder if he really knew what love was. In his mind and in his capacity he knew what he felt. But he had to ask himself if there was another kind of love; a love that would make you cherish and care for the love and not hurt the love. If there was such a love he wanted it. Where to find it or how he did not know.

Finally Valarie came down stairs, Samuel could see that she was trying to ignore last night. She was quiet on the outside, but her inside was like a roller coaster. He could see she was trying to hold on to her composure, afraid to let herself go. She acknowledged him with a faint glance and sat at the dining table as she clasped her hands around the cup, as if seeking warm comfort from it.

Samuel determined in his mind that none of it was going to put him off.

He walked over to her and held her, he held her like he had never held her before.

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