Everyone has different personalities and circumstances. As myself, I was surrounded by love and protection from my family, friends and other people. Therefore, I grew up with a thought that I am worthy of love and I always willing to give my love to other people. Until now, when I take the psychology 150 class, I have just found out that the way I connect to others is called the secure attachment style.
Secure attachment style is an emotional immune system, characterized by a positive view of self, others and relationships. It describes people who believe that they are lovable, capable of getting love. They know that they are worthy of comfort, protection and love. They are also always willing to give love to others . People in this attachment
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Therefore, I know I am worthy of love and willing to love others, but when face something, I still take my responsibility as needed if it is my fault. I can get angry and emotional but by the time, I still can stand up and keep going. I believe that relationship is based on trusting each other. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and we both have secure attachment style. I am very satisfied in my romantic relationship. We talk to each other all the time about everything and nothing we can hide from each other. I feel so comfortable when we are together. I allow my boyfriend to move freely and have his own space, so does he. Because we trust each other and rarely feel jealous. We also seek each other for comfort when we both feel troubled. At that time, I just need to tell him about my problem and we will find the way to solve it. I still remember when my family has financial problem, and my parents got ill. I felt so depressed because I was too young to help my parents with any financial problem. Moreover, I am from Vietnam - a half of the earth far away from United States. Because of distance, I could not even give them a hug and say "everything will be alright". I cried a lot and told my
Weger Jr., H. and Polcar, L. E., (2002). Attachment Style and Person-Centered Comforting. Western Journal of Communication, 66(1) (Winter 2002), 84-103.
love in the context of being a device that is used to protect and to care for people
A secure base is how the caregiver responds to the child’s needs, whether positively or negatively. When the child grows up with a positive secure base he/she is able to move into the exploratory system (Stalker & Hazelton, 2008). At this stage, the child should feel confident in their base feeling secure to venture into the environment. Even further, there is a fear/wariness system involved in the attachment theory (Stalker & Hazelton, 2008). This system is how the child responds to situations when their secure base is around. Lastly, is the internal working model, which is how the child views the world in addition to their relationships (Stalker & Hazelton, 2008). Carol Stalker and Rosemary Hazelton (2008) believed that attachment theory is appropriate for all clients especially those who experience maltreatment. Attachment theory supports the idea that psychological problems or disruptions are in congruence with early caregiving relationships; and based on the primary caregivers’ rapport with the child; he or she will develop a positive or negative pattern of attachment that will be present through adulthood if not rehabilitated (Stalker & Hazelton, 2008). Therefore, the primary goal of the attachment theory is to provide the child with a secure base to appropriately attain a sense of security to pattern proper social and emotional interpersonal relationships into adulthood (Stalker & Hazelton,
Developing secure attachments is a process that is supported by a caring and nurturing environment. Babies and young children make emotional attachments and form relationships that lay the foundation for future mental health and well-being. Attachment relationships are particularly important and have far reaching effects on the development of personal, emotional, social and cognitive skills. In the first few months of life babies make attachments with their primary carers.
According to the Adult Attachment Style questionnaire, my attachment style fell under the secure region. Which indicates that people that fall under this style tend to keep satisfying relationships with their partners. It seems appropriate, and I agree wit...
Acknowledging, the importance of attachment has been in helpful development of couples therapy, in particular to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), “where it helps explain how even healthy adults need to depend on each other,” (Nichols, 2013, p. 62). EFT is an empirically validated experiential therapy model that works with emotion to create change. EFT therapists use “attachment theory to deconstruct the familiar dynamic in which one partner criticizes and complains while the other gets defensive and withdraws,” (Nichols, 2013, p.63). Research has demonstrated the importance of attachment in individuals. It is not solely a childhood trait attachment is a trait that individuals carry for the rest of their lives. Nonetheless, it is important to work on the attachments with families and couples in order to alleviate some of the negative interactions that arise from feeling a fear of losing the attachment with
Attachment is an emotional bond between two people regardless of space and time. The father of the psychological theory of attachment, John Bowlby, once said,” Attachment is characterized by specific behavior in children, such as seeking proximity with the attachment figure when upset or threatened.” Although scientists believe a child's development depends on their parenthood, the theory of attachment explains how children are pre-exposed to form attachments.
Psychologist, Mary Ainsworth expanded upon Bowlby's original work. She conducted a study labelled the ‘Strange Situation’. In the study, based upon the children’s reactions, Ainsworth described three major styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent-insecure attachment, and avoidant-insecure attachment. Work by Stroufe and Waters in 1977, further supported Ainsworth's attachment styles and have indicated that attachment styles also have an impact on behaviours later in life (Birns, 1999, p. 13). Researchers have found strengths in attachment patterns established early in life can lead to a number of outcomes. For example, children who are securely attached as infants tend to develop stronger self-esteem and better self-reliance as they grow older. These children also tend to be more independent, perform better in school, have successful social relationships, and experience less depression and anxiety (Birns, 1999, p. 13).
Affection and attachment, wanting intimacy and closeness with someone is imprinted in our very DNA. Our true natures are revealed in the existence of our desire for love. When an ill-intentioned external force denies us that desire through the use of fear however, it has the detrimental effect of keeping us locked in prisons of confusion and despair. There is hope, however, that redemption can come by finding affirmation of our individual identity. There is hope in identifying and knowing the true nature of our identities, in being okay with who we are because others are okay with who we are. We love because we were first loved.
Following the above line of research, Mikulincer and Florian (2000) demonstrated that attachment style influences the way people react to death reminders. For instance, secure persons reacted to mortality salience with a higher desire for intimacy in romantic relationships, while individuals who scored high on the anxiety or avoidance component reacted with harsher punishment for social transgressors. These findings imply that secure persons react to death reminders by relying on their attachment relationships. In contrast, persons scoring high on either avoidance or anxiety dimension tend to rely on other defense mechanisms.
Infant attachment can remain stable through to adulthood for certain demographics and individuals. One such study examined attachment security in infancy and early adulthood and found that 72% of participants received the same secure versus insecure attachment classification (Waters et al., 2000). In the study 60 twelve month old infants with White middle-class backgrounds were tested using the Strange Situation (Waters et al., 2000). In the study 58% of infants were classified as secure, 24% insecure-avoidant and 18% insecure resistant (Waters et al., 2000). The Strange Situation was also performed at 18 moths on most participants (Waters et al., 2000). 20 years later 50 of the original participants (21 males, 29 females) underwent the Berkley Adult Attachment Interview (Waters et al., 2000). The Adult Attachment Interview suggested that 50% of participants were secure, 32% were insecure dismissing and 18% insecure paranoid (Waters et al., 2000). The vast majority of participants received that same attachment style and the study suggested that change was owed to negative life events. Although the study suggests that the change in attachment style is attributed to negative life events 22% of mothers who reported no negative life events had children who changed classification and eight participants indicated they underwent significant
Not everyone feels loves. Some of feel it and some people don’t. That’s the difference between Intimacy vs Isolation and I identify with this stage of Erikson. As I finally got out of the self-confusion I managed to discover myself and with this self-discovery I get to identify with intimacy in this stage. Intimacy vs Isolation is a very big difference that can cause unfortunate outcomes with people and their minds. For that it is important to have be a good person and accept yourself before anything in other to share your life with another person. In this stage we begin to share our moments with another person and we learn how to have good relationships.
Love is the basis of every day life, and it gives us the power to feel so affectionately
In conclusion, whether it be my three sisters, my parents, my boyfriend, or my friend Seth, we all deserve to be loved. The people around you are the people we should love the most because they are the people we have to interact with. If the world cannot learn to love, then we are doomed to war and famine. Love is the strongest thing in the world. I love others so they can love one another. Love is what my world revolves
There are many things that make humans, human. One major component is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationships take many forms but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are those relationships with family, friends and loved ones. Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with emotional paste — bonded with love.