Assignment On Top Of Making Remarks Essay

Assignment On Top Of Making Remarks Essay

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AFOSP is what I will be using to review your assignment on top of making remarks to your paper. I know our assignment does not require me to make remakes to every mistake you made on your paper. But, I believe that in order for you to understand what may need to be revised, I should show you my remarks to help in your revision process.

Starting off with A, which stands for Assignment, I believe you did well in following the assignments goal of a topic you felt should be researched. You completed the writing in the correct number of pages that was also double spaced and once inch margins surrounding. You did however forget to include a title and works cited which is what we have been learning to do this past month. Please remember to include before your final submission.

The next part of my review process is F, which stands for Focus. This is where your paper lacked any strength. There was no focus at all. I was easily confused at what were your words and what were the scholarly sources words. One of the most important things that you did not include was the title of the essay. You included a lot of information on cannabis, which is great, but what I could not get a grasp on your focus whether it should be legal or not. I would highly suggest reading your paper out loud to yourself and then revising you paper based on just some of my remakes.

After looking at the papers focus, I looked at O, which stands for Organization. Organization is important, from the time we start writing we are taught how set up our paper using a web. In your paper your organization was no present. Your conclusion was the only part of the essay that really conveyed your message. I am sure you probably conveyed your thoughts in other paragra...


... middle of paper ...


...as to why there was no “title” and no “works cited” page. Your paper would have benefited from proofreading, as it was hard to follow along. I may sound really harsh right now, but this assignment is the most important part of our writing portfolio. We are expected to show growth in our writing at this point in the semester. I made over thirty remarks on your essay, I am sure there is a lot more. I hope for the sake of your writing portfolio that revise your research paper entirely. Your citations were off completely. I was really unsure of what was a scholarly source and what were your own words. Some of the remarks you made seemed to be your own opinion that had nothing to back it up. Again, I know I sound harsh and rude, but I was not trying to be rude what so ever. I just felt that I should be brutally honest to help you out. I want everyone to do well.

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