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One Life to Live

There are days of my life when I would opt to live in a soap opera. It isn't that there's more drama than real life but the drama is much better. Soap Operas make tragedy look romantic and glamorous. In real life, tragedy sucks.

Speaking of soap operas and sucking, one of them had a vampire last summer. I think I really missed out, stuck in reality with no vampires. As an adolescent, I watched a soap opera vampire named Barnabus Collins. He was kind, sweetly guilt-ridden, but not that good looking. The latest soap vampire, Caleb, was evil, guilt free, tall, dark and, oh so handsome. In other words, they got it right this time.

Caleb was the ultimate bad boy, but they had him killed off. I want the vampire back. He had large dark eyes (sometimes red) and long dark hair. He loved a young thing named Olivia. Lucky girl. She plunged a dagger in his chest. All relationships have problems.

Maybe Soap Opera character's tragedies are glamorous because of their clothes. They dress better then Ken and Barbie dolls. They get dressed up to get killed. In real life, a tragedy can make you forget a bad hair day, not so in the soaps. Soap opera characters go through amnesia, murder trails, and kidnapping with out a hair out of place: curled, teased, and plastered with enough hairspray to endure a monsoon. They make painful diseases look good, laying in a general hospital bed with perfectly applied mascara and blotted lips as two men fight over them. Why can't a heart transplant be glamorous in real life and make all your dreams come true?

The world turns and I with it, but until I can step into a soap opera I have only one life to live and Todd Manning in my dreams.

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