Backing it up to that morning, I had recently arrived at school, late like usual. Vernon Middle School, a place I was not very fond of at the time. I was in 7th grade, 13 years old and teenage angst already deeply set in. I felt particularly good for once, confident and happy. Things I wasn’t used to feeling. Once again the principal had wanted to talk to me. Sad thing is I can’t even remember her name. She was tall, thin, with short brunette hair. A stern look seemed to always be plastered on her face, Yet again, she came to tell me that my current outfit was too inappropriate for school.
This is something I experienced often that year. Many times I would get called in and be forced to change or go home. Other times it was just the same old lecture. I had started puberty fairly early. I was a bit more developed than a lot of the other girls my age. I was quite insecure about starting puberty before my friends. I was often called in for outfits similar to what I had seen other girls wearing, girls less developed than I. It was as if I showed any skin it was now considered inappropriate. This was not easy for me. For most of my childhood I was a tomboy. After beginning puberty I felt like I needed to dress more feminine, since I was now becoming a woman. I was dealing with my new body and with figuring out my new sense of feminine style. And it seemed like no matter what I did it was ne...
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... trouble with my self esteem and feeling good about my body. I still deal with slut shaming. I do think I was judged more harshly for what I was wearing. I wore the same thing as other girls, but was made to feel bad about myself because I was further along in puberty. For looking more like a woman when I was only a girl. I am upset that my body was considered a distraction to boys and that making sure I didn’t interrupt their education was more important than getting mine. I’m mad that I was being sexualized at 13 and that it really started by the time I was 12. I’m mad that it’s not uncommon. This is only one of many related stories, It reflects a time period where I was going through a lot and wasn’t always in the best state of mind. These events and those connected to it greatly shaped who I am and the way I feel about myself. The way I think and the way I judge.
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