Critical Analysis Of Obesity

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As stated by Grellier & Goerke (2014), analytical essays explore all perspectives of a topic; whether it be positive/negative or possibilities/difficulties. Also, an argument is generally not required as comparing and contrasting points is the main focus of the essay. Obesity (Student n.d.) will be analysed and critiqued based on conventions of good academic writing.
Several major questions can be considered when evaluating an essay. For example, does the essay identify a question worth addressing? Being an analytical essay, Grellier & Goerke (2014) suggest that no argument is given and therefore the topic is required to be discussed neutrally. The title ‘Obesity’ provides no detailed information regarding what is going to be discussed. In …show more content…

Griellier & Goerke (2014) suggest that the introduction includes an overview of topic, relevant background information and the stating of main points. In Obesity (Student n.d.), many topics are introduced, such as obesity as a problem, how it has been positively promoted and the influences of social, cultural and economic factors; however all are not explored fully. Student should follow Grellier & Goerke’s (2014) techniques for writing an introduction in order to address this …show more content…

Student uses slang terms, such as ‘for starters’ (Line 13) and ‘kids’ (Line 83), which according to Brizee & Driscoll (2012), decreases the academic level of the essay. Other weaknesses throughout the essay include abbreviations of terms (e.g. ‘ads’ for advertisements), no elaboration of acronyms (e.g. ‘SES’ meaning socioeconomic status), poor word choice, spelling errors and lack of flow due to grammatical errors. Also, Student introduces previous research in bullet-point form. As an analytical essay is usually written formally it is recommended by the University of New England (n.d.) that bullet points are avoided. Obesity (Student n.d.) could be improved by fixing these weaknesses in the form of proof reading and spell check, as well as expanding on acronyms and using complete words instead of

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