The script ARTFUL PRETENDERS presents as a dramatic, thriller. It explores the world of art forgery. The tone, for the most part, is dramatic. The story presents with some strong moral choices that the protagonist has to make. She eventually makes the wrong choices for what she believes are the right reasons. The script explores themes about honesty, trust, and betrayal. The story offers some interesting twists and turns.
The main plot is very appealing. It’s fascinating to watch as the protagonist’s decisions spiral out of control and eventually lead to murder. There’s no doubt that the choices made by the main protagonist, Odette, drives the plot. It’s intriguing to watch her.
There’s a defined three act-structure. The plot goal is clear and the stakes become life and death. In the first act, there’s a strong inciting event with the death of Dorian. Odette’s plan of action to copy her husband’s paintings drives the plot forward into the second act.
The second act does a nice job of showing how her scheme begins to unravel and fall apart. However, the second act’s pacing is a bit slow and there’s not always compelling tension.
In the third act, Odette, has to defeat and outwit the foe.
While the plot shows strengths, there are areas worth discussing.
The idea of Odette having “visions” of events that will occur, never really works in this plot. The visions never create enough compelling tension. The idea is good, but it feels inserted vs. fluidly part of the storyline. Her visions actually tend to lesson the tension vs. elevate it. It might work more effectively if she just had one vision and if this vision either involved her killing someone (but there’s a twist later) or a vision of someone (not seen) coming af...
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...intriguing character, however, her “dearie” becomes too repetitive and loses its charm. It’s simply overused.
Harald clearly has feelings for Vladimir, but as mentioned, his role with the paintings isn’t entirely well understood.
The dialogue nicely reveals information about the characters, but avoid having the characters talk to one’s self. This sounds too contrived. For example: on page 22 “on the other hand,” (cut this). Harald talks to one’s self on page 46 and this feels un-natural. On page 82, Odette, again, talks to herself. The police dialogue should be more natural and more compelling.
The script is professionally formatted and easy to read. In summary, while there’s a lot to like about the idea, the script would benefit from more tension and suspense.
Create a possible climax in which Odette finds her own life in jeopardy to strengthen the stakes.
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