The film begins with a montage in which we see a chicken nugget being created - probably the grossest part of the movie; just try eating your McNugget while watching Cooties - but with one key difference: it 's infected with some black goop. A child eats it, and soon after she bites another one in the face. He spreads the virus to a whole host of other children, and soon enough the entire school is infected. Our protagonists are a bunch of teachers, each of whom is cartoonishly depicted. The "lead" is a writer, Clint (Elijah Wood), who at the school only because he 's acting as a substitute for someone else.
You may or may not care about the other teachers, in large part because they 're all one-note stereotypes. Lucy (Alison Pill) is the "nice one," who conveniently happens to know Clint from when they went to school together; Wade (Jack McBrayer) may or may not be homosexual - yes, that 's his one character trait; Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad) is par...
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...ayer, Nasim Pedrad, and Leigh Whannell don 't have enough in terms of character to really make an impression. They each get a few good lines, but I wish you luck in remembering them even ten minutes after Cooties ends.
Outside of a brief interlude in which the characters discuss how underappreciated teachers are in the modern era, Cooties is all about teachers either running from or murdering children, all done to make us laugh. This isn 't a deep movie by any stretch, nor does it want to be. Cooties just wants to be funny, be gory, and maybe offend those who think that children are untouchables in entertainment. It works when it comes to these things, at least for a while. I found it less funny as it progressed, perhaps because I grew tired of the one-note characters, but it does have some good lines. It 's a mixed bag, one that had more potential than was realized.
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