2:28 am. I’ve always had strong faith. It’s something that I’ve always heard, but I forgot all of the scripture that I learned and pleaded. Bring him back. Live. Live. God, please let him breathe. Bring him back. Just let him stay with me.
They said that he wouldn’t survive the night. The doctor’s at Grady Hospital had said that the weeks before that after he was hit by a car while riding his motorcycle leaving him in critical condition.
“He’s survived this long. So, we will see,” I hung up the phone, rolled over, and stared at the popcorn ceiling.
He’s strong. I got out of bed. He’s a tough cookie. I paced back and forth. My father has been through worse. I turned on the lamp on the nightstand. He will be fine. I shook out my arms, breathed deeply, and patted my face with both hands. He will be fine. I walked into the dark hallway, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. I have to believe it. I opened the fridge and took a bottle of water. I have to. I took a swig. But, what if he doesn’t. I started to go back upstairs. No, he will. I stopped on the eighth step and noticed the railing that he helped me put up two years ago. But, what if he doesn’t. I continued up the steps and into the bathroom and turned on the light. Don’t think about it. I turned on the faucet. Don’t think about it. I splashed my face. Don’t think about it. I splashed my face again.
And the phone rang.
I flattened down my A-line black and white skirt and re-adjusted my lily necklace in the full-length mirror of the small church bathroom. He would’ve wanted me to look nice. I leaned in and looked at myself. I don’t want to cry. I pulled a short piece of black hair behind my ear. I shouldn’t have to do this. I looked at my…his nose. I don’t want to do t...
... middle of paper ...
...ting her feet, and pulling my arm as hard as she can. She even tried to push me from behind huffin and puffin the whole time until she stopped and said, “You’re not ready”
Chicky cast her eyes to the ground and looked anywhere but my face. I knew that look. I bent down to her level and said, “I want to see you, Mama, and Nix. I really do, but I have to see her first.”
Her eyes narrowed before she said, “you’ll comeback as soon as you see her,” she pointed her slim pinky in my face and said, “you promise?”
“I promise,” I hooked my pinky with hers.
“Okay,” she pulls in her poked out lip as much as she could before I turn around to go back the way I came. That’s when I notice one of the toy horse’s was still on the couch. I pick up the plastic horse she left behind and brushed down its hair with my fingers.
“You forgot this one,”
“You can keep it. I already have one”
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