When my girlfriend said she loved me, it always sounded like something she wished she could take back. An escaped prisoner. Or a fart.
Why so hesitant? What is she thinking? These were questions that the ill-equipped emotional cartographer in me needed to investigate, so I remained steadfast in my commitment to loving her. “I love you,” I would say confidently, looking into her eyes, projecting to the back of the room. “I love you too,” she would garble after a prolonged moment of sideways-glancing introspection.
Relationships usually die under these conditions. First there is a talk, then space, then nothingness. But sometimes, on rare occasions, there is adaptation. A tiny little solution that allows for a relationship to persist. Our adaptation
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“I know” was the adaptation, and it became her defense mechanism against my love. When we were at a nice restaurant and I would say I love you: she would pause for a second for dramatic effect and say… I know. When we were alone in her office and I would say I love you: she would turn her head and say… I know. And when we were cuddling in bed, whispering into each others’ faces: she would say… well, you know.
It worked because it appeared, on the surface, to be a joke. I know, like, you were expecting me to say I love you back, but instead I said I know. Or, I know, like I’m making a reference to Han Solo in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, you know? On the surface, I knew and I laughed.
Below the surface, though, I didn’t know. On good days, it felt like a sign of our emotional closeness. I know you love me because our inner beings are so intertwined that you don’t even need to tell me. I just know. But on most days it felt like a rejection. I know you love me, but I don’t totally 100% love you back. Or, I know you love me, because, well, I’m the shit and everyone loves
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The ones you read about in those lightly researched op-ed pieces about exaggerated generational differences: we were afraid of commitment and always open to the possibilities. And as a millennial, I related to that. The reason I don’t like calling myself an advertising copywriter is that I can see myself doing other things as well. I could be a restaurant owner, I tell myself, or a CEO. I could even be a successful nonfiction writer if I tried hard enough. So I don’t call myself an advertising copywriter. I don’t like to commit to that perfectly respectable title because I am open to other opportunities. And I am open to other opportunities because there are other opportunities. It is a paradox of choice bestowed upon us by the modern world. The more opportunities we have, the less comfortable we are committing to just
According to Abby Ellin in her article, “The Beat (Up) Generation” the styles between millennials and baby boomers is substantial and often times, millennial’s are just misinterpreted. Millennial’s have everyone trying to decode them and try to figure out how they work. This has people from the Baby Boomer generation in flux. Ellin validates her claim with strong sources, powerful statistics, and unbiased argument.
Beyond all manner of so much I love you.” (1.1.55-60). Obviously, to any reader, she is over exag...
Imagine yourself lying in the sun, feeling the warmth on your skin, when a cloud cover the sun and you feel the sudden coldness that you can seem to shake? The feeling is similar when you love someone very much but they don’t return the feeling. The band, 5 Seconds of Summer (5SOS), in their song, If You Don’t Know, sings about how a singer is in love with a person. The person seems to not be sure if they are in love with the singer, and the the singer wishes for the person to let them go. The couple that 5SOS wrote about was in love at one time, but the person is slowly falling out of love with the singer.
I was so shocked I had to close my eyes and think for second and I open my eyes back up. What does she meant by loving me too? Does this mean she loved Tom at one point? All kinds of thought were colliding and bouncing around my head.
The relationship between the husband and wife seems initially to be perfect. They both show each other expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony, financial security, and good communication between them. The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the past. However, behind all of this positive interaction between the two of them is something they are both not able
is similar to the feelings in her heart. In the same way that there is
Desperately, people turn to use some words loosely. Take note when you are talking with people and you hear them using reminiscent words such as smart, pretty, beautiful, intelligent, or love in sentences. For the purpose of this paper, I will focus on the word Love due to the fact that love turns to apply in all the other words that people use loosely. There are numerous definitions of the word love, but I will pick one from Dictionary.com that states: A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. It’s obvious that a large majority of people are content when they hear the phrase “I Love You”. On the other hand, when a person says I love you, it can be misinterpreted effortlessly. One question I
When the Baby Boomer generation was questioned about the newer generation, these words and phrases was often used: “slacker”, “lazy”, “has it easy”, “entitled”, “obsessed with their phones/internet/games” and “antisocial”. On the other hand, Millennials (or Generation Y) would say this about their older counterpart: “entitled”, “ruined it for those who followed”, “had it easier”, “narcissists”, “stubborn”, and “materialistic”. The reason for why the elders would see it that way is because they had to live without the quick solutions that teens have nowadays. This “elders bashing on the newer generation” isn’t uncommon, as seen by what was recovered from Aristotle’s and Plato’s time (Rampell 389). For Millennials, some of their tension comes from the fact that they will be the first generation earning less than previous generation for the same amount of work (Roos). Not only that, but the prices for land property, and college education, which is needed in many jobs nowadays, has skyrocketed compared to their parent’s and grandparent’s. Due to this wealth gap, it sparked a lot of tension between the generations, and this can be seen in smaller environments, such as in the
"I don't really know", I heard myself say. I felt a deep shock, hearing myself say that, because the minute I said it, I knew it was true.`
When you build relationships with others, like the previous way, you start by asking a few questions; which are how do they feel love? And what makes them happy? If both parties have completed the first step in finding out how they feel love, they can rely that information to their partner, spouse, or friend, and by doing so each party can supply the other with their source of love. If not, one should look for which way makes their friend happier. For instance, does he or she like gifts more than quality time, or do they find more joy in personal time. For my girlfriend, I found that saying words such as “I love you” or “You’re my girlfriend” made her face, like a candle stick, light up. Thus, I concluded that she values words of affirmation above the rest of them This means I must choose my words more carefully because she values what I say to her. Because I know how she feels love, I can communicate to her more effectively rather than if I didn’t know. Yet like myself, she also likes quality time, this is one of the reason we “click”. Because of this shared language we have we often spend most of our time together because we want to. Meaning, by finding out what language you speak, you can find others who speak your language and so you build relationships with people who can become your friend, or
Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need (Chapman, 19). Expressing love and understanding are required to build this relationship. First, the five languages must be comprehended. The first love language is Words of Affirmation (Chapman, 2014). Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love (Chapman, 37). When we verbally affirm a person, it is sending them a powerful message of love. Affirmation can be achieved with verbal compliments, encouraging words, or kind words. If the primary language is Words of Affirmation, this verbal confirmation is needed on a regular basis. The second language is Quality Time (Chapman, 2014). Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention (Chapman, 2014). Not just spending time together but talking and not having attention diverted. Focused Attention, Quality Conversation, and Quality Activities are the crux of Quality Time (Chapman, 2014). Consequently, a person with a primary language of Quality Time only wants undistracted time together (Chapman, 2016). Receiving Gifts is the next language that must be recognized (Chapman, 2014). Specifically, a gift can symbolize love, and visual symbols of love are more important to some people than to others (Chapman, 77). Hence, if the primary language is Receiving Gifts, then that visual representation of love is paramount. If a person
During our lifetime, many relationships are formed with family, friends, and significant others. These relationships are key to forming friends, work bonds and intimate connections with others. Family, friends and intimate relationships are necessary for everyday life, below I am going to discuss interpersonal relationships with each and challenges that may come.
“Relationships are what make up our world today, they shape the ways we see things and the way that we do things, relationships affect how we see the world today”. I believe supporting what your partner does, having a great sum of trust and showing your affections towards your partner is what will make a healthy relationship great.
was the sole barrier between us, I said to myself ‘I’ll have her in my arms again!
There are many things that make humans, human. One major component is the capacity to form and maintain relationships. These relationships are absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love, and procreate. Human relationships take many forms but the most intense, most pleasurable and most painful are those relationships with family, friends and loved ones. Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we are bonded to each other with emotional paste — bonded with love.