FOUR HOLIDAYS & A WEDDING is a romance story. The goal is love and the stakes are personal. There are solid themes about healing and learning to move on. The concept of a widow falling for his sister-in-law has merit. It’s a nice setup for conflict, tension, romance, and character growth.
The characters are likable and it’s easy for the audience to want Paul and Maureen to be happy. The idea of the “four holidays” gives the story a nice hook.
With that said, the script would benefit from more development. The areas to revisit are the structure, the pace, the tension, and further character development, as well as crafting sharper dialogue.
First, the story opens and establishes the ordinary world of Paul. He’s a widow with a young daughter, but most of all, he’s resistant to the idea of love.
The idea of Brooke, his sister-in-law and potential love interest, being engaged to another man is a smart story choice. This gives the plot a natural ticking clock tension as the wedding approaches.
Unfortunately, however, it takes much too long to really understand what the story goal is about. It actually doesn’t become clear that the story is a love story between Paul and Brooke until the scene in the dentist office around page 37. This is really the first time that the audience begins to understand what the goal.
Thus, try to establish a clearer goal for Paul earlier in the first act. Even though Brooke mentions that Paul should date and he’s not ready, it doesn’t feel clear that Brooke is the potential love interest. A way to make this clearer would be for Brooke to declare that she’s going to find a woman for Paul, or for Paul to declare that he’s ready to date again.
The other way to make it clearer that Brooke is the l...
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...having problems at school.
The dialogue is an area to be revisited. While there are strengths and weaknesses, the dialogue tends to sound too conversational versus purposeful. In other words, they have conversations that are not very exciting or essential. All dialogue should be meaningful and contain subtext. It should reveal information about the characters or the plot. In fact, there are several conversations about “food.” Here are just a few examples, but there are more: page 16, 31, 33,49, 72, 84, and 105). Consider revising.
There are also some typos with mainly the word “you” vs. “your.” Brooke is also spelled Brook (page 45). The name Dorthy vs. Dorothy should be corrected. On page 78, one wonders if it should be “No, Richard,” versus “No, Paul.”
Thus, the idea of a widow falling for his sister in law has merit, but would benefit from more development.
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