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11:14 p.m.-I slowly ascend from my small wooden chair, and throw another blank sheet of paper on the already covered desk as I make my way to the door. Almost instantaneously I feel wiped of all energy and for a brief second that small bed, which I often complain of, looks homey and very welcoming. I shrug off the tiredness and sluggishly drag my feet behind me those few brief steps. Eyes blurry from weariness, I focus on a now bare area of my door which had previously been covered by a picture of something that was once funny or memorable, but now I can't seem to remember what it was. Either way, it's gone now and with pathetic intentions of finishing my homework I go to close the door. I take a peek down the hall just to assure myself one final time that there is nothing I would rather be doing and when there is nothing worth investigating, aside from a few laughs a couple rooms down, I continue to shut the door.
11:21 p.m.-As I clumsily trip over piles of dirty clothes, shoes, and cans that remind me of better times I become increasingly aware of the clock, and in turn the small amount of sleep I'll be acquiring tonight. I stop and think of all those ideas I had about college; what it would be like. All those preconceived notions of what college was supposed to be like became quite accurate.
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"A Lesson In Procrastination." 123HelpMe.com. 20 Jan 2020
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11:32p.m.-I push myself from the cluttered wooden desk that has surrounded and confronted me all day. I had looked upon those same blank papers earlier knowing it would lead to this point. I once again make my way to the door, this time not to shut out the noise, but to once again walk away from those papers that have very few hours to be created. I know they won't get done, but I slowly close the door behind me as a sigh of relief yet severe disappointment exits my mouth. I can hear my roommate's voice trail off as she asks where I'm going, but I don't want to stop.
11:36 p.m.-As I begin my journey away from the piles of endless paper that needs to be sorted through and finished, I find myself slowly becoming overwhelmed with fear.
Though my mind says I should go back and finish my work, I can't make myself turn around and with each step I know I'm wasting more and more time. I'm being pulled deeper into the fear of failure and it's because I put off those blank sheets on the desk. Right in this second my phone rings and I stop momentarily to see who it is. I hesitantly pull out the phone and the familiar dorm number that had shown on my phone so many times before was now blinking unremittingly. I couldn't go back. I threw the phone in my pocket and continued on my way.
11:49 p.m.-As I walk down the halls I see the remains of the weekend parties carelessly scattered about the halls. Pizza boxes, cans, articles of clothes and dirt filled the same halls that were clean just two days before. The janitors are gone and the adolescent ways of life have taken over. I can still hear those same laughs, and as I look straight down the hall I see I'm not the only person who is still up. I catch myself snickering at all of them for their carelessness of staying up this late, only to remember I'm right in front of them.
12:02 a.m.-Around the corner of the long hallway I can see the stairs and at this point the further I can get away from the dorm room I call home, the better off I'll be. I start to walk quickly, which in moments turns into a full sprint and when I make it to the stairwell I try to move my legs as quickly as I can without falling or thinking about what I'm doing. I know I won't go back to the room tonight and I know my aspirations and ideals are weakening with each step I'm taking. The little responsibility I have taken on is again too much, and I remember my mother's words from the times she continuously warned me to stay away from the distractions that college would bring. This isn't what I always dreamed college would be. What I expected? Yes. What I can handle? Probably not. This is a lesson in procrastination. I pull my keys from my pocket as I trip over the last step and fall onto the cold floor at the bottom of the stairwell that soon becomes my bed for the evening. There are no dreams though, and when I wake up from my slightly unconscious state my roommate stands over me. Slightly embarrassed that she is now standing over me in the middle of a cold stairwell as I come to consciousness I roll the eyes from the back of my head only to be greeted by her high pitched voice that instantaneously rings my ears.
1:45 a.m.-"What were you doing?!" She almost screams as she looks down at me in confusion.
I begin to feel a throbbing sensation run through my back and neck as I try to open my eyes. "I must have fallen. I was uhh going to get my psychology book to study for that quiz this morning." I say as I rub my neck. I try to listen to the words that are coming out of her mouth as she looks at me by my eyes aren't completely open and it's painful to even think about getting up.
" gosh. Just study tomorrow." I try and focus on her words. "It's only Saturday. The weekend's not over quite yet, besides everyone's been waiting for us at that party, remember?"
I look at the ceiling from my fallen position and recall what day it is. "I think I'm going to have to sit that one out. I'm going to go do some work and then head to bed. You guys have fun. See you tomorrow morning."
2:00 a.m.- I'm back at this wooden desk and the clock is still ticking, but the sound isn't half as loud and though my back is throbbing and my body is still aching for sleep I find myself at peace. The television is glowing and the sounds of the radios down the hall are barely noticeable. The halls have settled down and though it's probably because everyone is at a party or passed out things seem right. As I sit at my desk and sort through papers I look over at the small bed in the corner that is covered in the blue comforter and bright colorful pillows that seems to be now calling my name. I stand up slowly from the wooden chair and throw a couple sheets of paper onto the pile. "I'll do them tomorrow."
This is a lesson in procrastination.