De Peck's A Deadly Tradition By Deserae Peck

729 Words2 Pages
bulb-icon

Recommended: “Combating Female Genital Mutilation: An agenda for the Decade.” research paper

The essay A Deadly Tradition by Deserae Peck had a lot of good information. She presented a good irrefutable argument on the history, cruelty, and health risks of female genital mutilation. I liked her information on the study’s and the inclusion of testimony given by a woman that it had this procedure when she was very young. I liked her argument on the need for education as well. While her essay had a lot of good information, it lacked organization and transition between her paragraph. The essay had eight paragraphs while a standard essay only has five. One example of this is two of her paragraphs could have been combined into one paragraph giving the paper more of flow. She had good transition in some of here paragraphs while the others lacked transition. The paper did not have a hook or a thesis statement to keep readers interested. Although it was a very informative essay, it lacked organization, good sentence structure, and transition from one paragraph to the next. It had misuse of quotations, many spelling, and grammar errors. In my essay I am going to be explaining the suggestions I would make to her. As if I were her friend critiquing the essay for her, and helping …show more content…

Including her hook thesis what the paper is going to be about then transition into her first paragraph where she should have included the information on the practice of the female genital mutilation, then the history of it. Then she should have transitioned into her second paragraph where would have used the study, and health issues this causes that she had written later in her essay. Deserae Peck should have put that in formation in the second paragraph. In her 3 rd. body paragraph would have used Aisha Abdel Majids’s testimony from an interview article written by Rogaia Mustafa. Which would give the essay more of a solid foundation? I would have then pointed her spelling, grammar and sentence

Show More
Related

  • Analysis Of 'Westbury Court' By Edwidge Danticat

    1131 Words  | 3 Pages

    Since Professor Limcolioc already notified us that we would be writing about one of the readings, I would always rank the readings from most interesting to least. Obviously, I found “Westbury Court” most interesting because the repetition of “Sometimes it’s too late to say, ‘I shouldn’t have’” truly spoke out to me. For my introduction, I did not really know what to write. I started to think of a hook, but then I felt like I just wanted to get straight to the point—which was to begin with which reading I will be analyzing. I began to type my introduction and I found myself writing a summary of the essay. Initially, the introduction was quite long because I summarized “Westbury Court” with a lot of unnecessary details. When I had someone else proofread it, they told me that I should cut it down a bit and so I did. After my summary, I stated my thesis, which was why the repetition of “Sometimes it’s too late to say, ‘I shouldn’t have’” is significant. For my first body paragraph, I talked about what the mother must have meant when she said the phrase the first time by using one of the heuristics (Notice and Focus). With that, I included a few parts of my original summary. I used the Method for my second body paragraph, in which I specifically utilized the binary opposition to write about how Danticat was before and after the fire. For my third body paragraph, I made assumptions by looking at the

    Read More

  • Kill The Five Paragraph Essay By John Warner

    413 Words  | 1 Pages

    However, though John Warner’s argument is strong, Kerri smith’s argument is stronger. In Kerri Smith’s article “In Defense of the Five-Paragraph Essay,” She claims that the five-paragraph essay should stay taught in schools as a guideline for a well-structured essay. She explains the five-paragraph essay as an “introduce-develop-conclude structure” that even great expository writing follows this structure (Smith 16). She purposefully communicates to her audience this idea to show that this structure gives students the knowledge and capability to write a professional essay. The five-paragraph essay includes the three key points to have a well-structured and organized essay. By mentioning that other great writers use this form of structure, she creates a stronger argument as to why the five-paragraph essay is important to education. She continues her article by explaining her early stages of writing and how she was taught; over time, her teachers would show her new ways to improve her writing which, in the end, she was told to think “of those five paragraphs simply as a mode of organization” (Smith

    Read More

  • Phillipa's Fox Hunt by Somerville Ross

    1110 Words  | 3 Pages

    The story by Somerville Ross, “Philippa’s Fox Hunt” was set in Ireland. A recently married couple Mr. and Mrs. Yeates were featured adapting to a new environment. The new place was characterized by new social activities that were not common in their previous residence. They had to learn new skills such as riding horses and hunting. Mr. Yeates who narrated the story described his life after marriage and how events had shaped his marriage. At the very beginning I was able to pick an element of symbolism; a newly married couple will naturally start a new life and similarly in the story the couple ventured into a new society where almost everything was new just in the same way when two people get married to each other.

    Read More

  • The Natural by Bernard Malamud

    1043 Words  | 3 Pages

    Every individual has two lives, the life we live, and the life we live after that. Nobody is perfect, but if one works hard enough, he or she can stay away from failure. The Natural is a novel written by Bernard Malamud. It is Malamud’s first novel that initially received mixed reactions but afterwards, it was regarded as an outstanding piece of literature. It is a story about Roy Hobbs who after making mistakes in his life, he returns the bribery money and is left with self-hatred for mistakes he has done. Hobbs was a baseball player who aspired to be famous, but because of his carnal and materialistic desire, his quest for heroism failed, as he was left with nothing. In the modern world, the quest for heroism is a difficult struggle, and this can be seen through the protagonist in The Natural.

    Read More

  • The Cross And The Lynching Tree By James Cone

    1632 Words  | 4 Pages

    Slavery is an economic, legal system where humans are sold and treated as property. The history of slavery spans nearly almost from every culture, religion and nationality from ancient to present days. Slavery in the United States is identified as one of the darkest periods of the human kind where people from the African continent were sold to the white settlers in the United States. Based on research it was evident that the white Christianity supported the establishment and the continuation of slavery in America. This paper is a study of the history on how white Christianity helped and also offered support to American slavery. The paper will discuss how the black community was oppressed and the tools used to support the establishment and continuation of slavery. The research will adopt the use of the book titled “the cross and the lynching tree” written by James Cone.

    Read More

  • Charles W. Chestnutt's The Marrow of Tradition

    826 Words  | 2 Pages

    country for our cause. [...] I know I am on the weaker side in point of

    Read More

  • Royal Murders by Dulcie M. Ashdown

    1137 Words  | 3 Pages

    Murder mysteries are one of the most popular genres of novels today. More often than not, these books are fiction. Royal Murders by Dulcie M. Ashdown is a non-fiction book about murder. This novel travels back thousands of years and tells the story of murders in royal households, like the Scottish monarchy of 1570 to the evil doings of Tsar Ivan IV (Ivan the Terrible). Although the book could have gone into more detail, it is interesting and informative because the background information is set out in detail, and book reviews suggest that this book is for anyone who shares a deep love for history and mystery.

    Read More

  • The Possibility of Evil by Shirley Jackson

    1090 Words  | 3 Pages

    Topic/ Thesis Statement: Don’t judge a book by its cover, some people are not who they claim to be, or looks can be deceiving.

    Read More

  • The Shadow of the Galilean by Gerd Theissen

    1375 Words  | 3 Pages

    The Shadow of the Galilean by Gerd Theissen is a fictional narrative about a Jewish merchant, Andreas, searching for information about a group of people known as Essenes, John the Baptist, and Jesus of Nazareth. While traveling through Jerusalem Andreas was imprisoned by the Romans thinking he was a part of a demonstration against Polite when his mission was to find Jesus. Andreas writes, “I never met Jesus on my travels through Galilee. I just found traces of him everywhere: anecdotes and stories, traditions and rumors. But everything that I heard of him fits together.

    Read More

  • Slavery

    447 Words  | 1 Pages

    Each sentence flows fluidly and without imperfection. There are no apostrophes or harsh-sounding words that do not belong or fit among the others. The words fit together perfectly, as do the ideas in order to make a remarkable essay filled with emotion.

    Read More

  • The Broken Spears by Miguel Leon-Portilla

    856 Words  | 2 Pages

    The author argues that the Spanish were completely at fault for the total destruction of the Aztec Empire. In Broken spears, the author explains how many factors other than Spanish power contributed to the downfall of the Aztecs. Not only did the Spanish have many advantages over the Aztecs, but also they also exploited them and took advantage of the cultural difference. The main key aspects to the Spanish victory, is that the Spanish were viewed as gods at first because of their appearance, the Aztecs welcomed the Spanish with gifts and festivities, which showed the Spanish had total control of people. The Aztecs also held a ritual ceremony for the arrival of the “god” that included a human sacrifice, which was seen by the Spanish as a disgusting act, this trigged Spanish hatred for the Aztecs. When the Spanish saw the resources that the Aztecs had, they quickly started taking advantage of the Aztecs weaknesses. The Spanish had more power; they were better equipped than the Aztecs and more advanced. The Aztecs’ leader Montecuhzoma was a weak leader, he was more of a coward, more concerned with his well being and safety than the safety of his people and kingdom so he quickly surrendered under pressure. The Spanish used surrounding enemy tribes to take over the Aztec lands, then began to massacre men, women and children. When the Aztec became angry and started to fight back, they were quickly wrecked by the diseases the Spanish ...

    Read More

  • Self-Analysis Essay of a Writer

    1134 Words  | 3 Pages

    The strengths in my writing are my organizational skills, grammatical construct, and my work ethic. Organizing an essay is a very natural process for me. I always follow the basic guidelines for the structure of an essay, which state that one must have an introduction, thesis statement, body, conclusion, and a works cited when needed. The “Are Helicopter Parents Entering the No Fly Zone?” essay, “Animal Cloning—How Unethical Is It?” essay, and the “The Clean Water Act—Is it Successfully Reducing Water Pollution?” essay all have a proper introduction, an informative thesis statement, a body, great conclusions, and works cited pages. Formatting the essays is an integral aspect of organizational skills. Each new paragraph is indented, the font is twelve-point Times New Roman, the sentences are double spaced, and the headers are correct.

    Read More

  • The Natural by Bernard Malamud

    1196 Words  | 3 Pages

    In the story, The Natural, certain characters and events are portrayed in a distinctive way that makes this story unique to other books and shows the typical writing style of the narrator. The author uses a repetitive writing technique that is impossible to overlook. The writer of this book is able to catch the reader’s eye with his concept of the importance of beautiful description. The Natural, by Bernard Malamud, uses great imagery that makes the story appealing.

    Read More

  • North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

    1973 Words  | 4 Pages

    The nineteenth century was a time of economic, technologic, and population growth. These changes created problems in everyone’s daily lives. Two examples of things that affected the lives of many were disease and sanitation. Disease and sanitation led to high mortality rates in Nineteenth- Century England. This relates to North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell as it takes place during nineteenth century England and multiple characters died presumably due to disease.

    Read More

  • My Final College Essay

    1665 Words  | 4 Pages

    Over the course of Intro to College Writing I have written a total of three essays and turned in. These three essays consist of: Narrative, Profile, and Argumentative. My first essay was the Narrative in which I wrote about the night of my mothers arrest. With this essay. I as a writer was trying to convey the emotions I felt during the experience and describe the many atmospheres that occurred throughout the incident. The only memorable thing from this essay was figuring out how to end the essay in a way that wrapped the entire essay back up in a short meaningful, stylistic way. That I felt I did well with my last line being “That was the first time I had said “I love you” in well, I couldn't tell you.” Through writing that last statement I felt I summed up a struggling relationship I held with my mother sparring details that spanned over years into a simple sentence that echoed around the core concept. This was the only breakthrough I met as I wrote this essay recalling the night and describing my feelings flowed easily and I found myself done quickly. I only stopped to find a fancier word or write a sentence in a different way. Either making it longer, shorter or include more details. I had strong feelings that I communicated the entire situation in a comprehensible and touching way. Looking back on the essay there was much too be corrected as I did in my re-write such as: Organization, fragments, Contractions, comma splices.

    Read More

More about De Peck's A Deadly Tradition By Deserae Peck

Open Document