All about me
My interactions with others are affected by my physical self in many ways. For as long as I can remember I have had a very difficult childhood. In my life I have had only my mother. A week before I was born my father left my mother for some other woman. At the age of eleven I started to slit my wrists. Later on in life I learned, that the reason that I was did this was try to get the attention of everyone around me. This only ended up with me getting admitted into the mental word. After my mother paid an abundant amount of money for me to see many counselors she gave up.
My life went on. I started to pierce myself because I was not getting the attention from my wrist slitting anymore. When I turned thirteen I got grounded for six months. My mother found out that I had pierced my tongue. Year after year every time that my mother and I got into a fight
, I would lock myself into my room and pierce myself. Now that you know somewhat of my back ground you can now see that my physical self interrupts with my interactions with others.
and high school was very difficult for me. I was always categorized as a freak
, Goth, or Satan worshiper. I did not wish to be categorized in any of those groups. Over the years I have been turned away by many people. They think that I am a freak and that I will cast a spell on them or something. At lunch time, I would be the kid who sat all the way at the last table. I would sit all the way in one of the corners on the edge of the table. I remember this one time at lunch in 9th grade this girl threw something at me because she did not like my shirt. I cried the whole bus ride home. I did not understand why someone would do that to some one. I did not talk to no one.
I also have even been turned away from all sorts of jobs. For example, last month I went to Salisbury Chevrolet and talked to the owner of the shop. He told me that I would be an ideal employee, but I have to get rid of all of my piercings. I then went to approach him with the excuse that I am attached to every hole in my body. He then turned and laughed. I felt so embarrassed. This other time I went to apply for a job at a cloths outlet called DEBS. The lady at the front desk told me that they are not hiring. My friend went back to the same store and she got hired a week later. That is just wrong. That was another night that I just sat home and cried myself to sleep.
My mother told me that sooner than later that I was going to have to grow up and have to take them out. My boyfriend told me that my piercings individualize me from a lot of people. I just think that they are kind of a security blanket for me. I have had many of them for years. Taking them away from me would be like taking a baby blanket from a baby at a very young age.
I am now 20 years old and I have eighteen piercings. Sometimes when I am in the mall just walking around I see many people look at me and stair. Sometimes I even see little kids run from me and hid behind their mother or father. I hear them ask “mommy, what is that in her lip.” These people don’t stop to think that I have feelings too. This also has happened many times in school. Yes, I know that I am unique, but why is it any of their business. I have grown to attached to every individual piercing because they are apart of my history. I do not want to take them out because no one else likes them.
All this ties in with why I am now attempting to go through college for mechanics and body work. Even though mechanics and body work is a male dominated field I love to work on cars. It’s hard, in a way, I have to know more than the guys. I never had a problem with that though. I feel that guys are a lot more accepting with my appearance than girls. Guys don’t look at you and judge on how you are dressed or if you are wearing the new style this week. I think that seventy-five percent of my friends are guys. For reasons that I can not explain, I can kind of relate to them better. My mother thinks that is strange but that is just who I am.