Personal Narrative- Finding Truth in Prayer
Glory, God stared me in the face. A man, my savior stood at the curtain. “Are you planning to pray?” he inquired. I blinked twice, “Um... yes?”
Praying isn’t my ‘thing,’ but I figured “When in Vatican City...”
I stepped past the man and into Enlightenment. Behind the curtain a room heavy with relics awaited. People stood, sat in the corners; heads down and hands clasped the room was immobile. Satan himself could not stir a soul.
I took my place in the pew furthest from the front in a dark corner. Mindlessly I closed my eyes, hands and tilted my head. “Ask God for three things” my stepmother whispered in my ear.
I opened my eyes.
The room was remarkably bright. Angels flew above my head. How could I have never noticed before? And the altar before me rang with a holy, resonant sound. And this sound, this deep hum filled my mind, almost deafening any insecurities that I could ever find. This projection left me feeling whole, left me feeling safe and secure.
I was ready, I closed my eyes.
Just like Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall.” It occurred to me that when you wall something out (God), you’re also walling something in (the very glimmer that one day I’d have faith). I chose to break down that wall.
But what to ask for? Here I am in what has to be one of the holiest places I will ever encounter and I’m gearing to pray. I don’t pray. What do I want?
“Truth.” I heard myself whisper. Yes, the word flowed right out of me. An eternal flame had been lit, and I felt remarkably warm. I could not contain myself, I continued to whisper “I want to find the truth. Any and all truth, and somehow find its’ beauty.”
Sure it wasn’t exactly three things that I had asked from him, but I figured if I put this one on hold, he’d be sure to listen another day.
Bombarded, my mind filled with a million thoughts and ideas. I felt like I could see through any problem solely because I’m meant to. I knew what I wanted - the mere idea swallowed me. There is truth, and a faith that will liberate me. And my job, my mission is find it’s beauty. To chisel away the inconsistencies and fallacies of life until I’m left with nothing polished or refined, only the raw truth.
Renfrew, Colin. The Emergence of Civilisation: The Cyclades and the Aegean in the Third Millennium B.C. London: Metheun 1972.
As I was driving into the church parking lot I had to take a deep breath. After leaving another frustrating day at school and then going to work right afterwards, I needed to calm myself down. I looked in the rear view mirror one more time to make sure I looked halfway presentable. I fixed my wind-blown hair by pulling it back in a high ponytail and put on some Burt’s Bees lip balm before exiting the car. I grabbed my Bible and notebook and locked the doors. As I walked towards the youth building a wave of comfort washed over me.
... Pageants 'About Parents Feeling Good, Not Kids). A few parents will even go as far as to deny their children essential things such as food or naps. If the child were allowed to take a nap they would be risking messing up their hair and makeup and possibly having to do retouches. As for food, it may cause bloating which would then lead to a less than perfect body in the swimsuit portion of the pageant (Could Child Beauty Pageants Be Banned in the USA?). Instead, the parents will give their children around ten Pixy Stix, also known as pageant crack, to keep their energy levels high. If the Pixy Stix alone don’t work, the child will also be given an energy drink to help amp them up (O'Neill). Pageants can be a huge source of stress for the children involved. The long demanding hours and lack of sleep mixed with the constant need to be perfect begins to take a toll.
Department of Energy, (2011). The world's largest medical center is now among the most energy efficient. Retrieved from energy.gov website: http://energy.gov/articles/world-s-largest-medical-center-now-among-most-energy-efficient
“Today I am guided to exactly what I need to know. Open my eyes, my heart, and my mind to
Muluneh, Wuhib Ethiopia - Eritrea Border Conflict: The Crux of the Issue, accessed on 11/28/2003, < http://www.ethioembassy.org.uk/articles/articles/focus%20electronic-99/Wuhib%20M-3.htm >
Dissociation can occur any time in our life and there is two kinds of dissociation, childhood and adulthood. Child dissociation is different from adult dissociation. Child dissociation occurs when the child is actually experiencing some sort of trauma, like abuse. Adult dissociation happens in situations like stress or family related issues. Another difference is that child dissociation does not last very long (usually a hour), but adult dissociation lasts for a longer period of time. Dissociation occurs when something so painful is happening that the mind leaves the body to go elsewhere. In Martha Stout’s essay “When I Woke up On Tuesday, It Was Friday,” she defines dissociation as the mind leaving the body and transporting our awareness to a place so far away, it feels like the person is watching from outside their body. In her essay, she tells her audience about the dangers of dissociation, such as blackout, unable to relate to others, a sense of not knowing who one is, and the sense of lost time. She also includes some of her patient’s stories and experiences with dissociation, how they struggle for sanity and how she helps them see a new meaning of life. She tells her audience that often when patients or people dissociate they have lack of self-control and self-awareness. Dissociation can happen to anybody in a dire situation, for instance a child getting abused or some other traumatic event. Martha Stout has her audience/reader rethink about dissociation particularly the harmful side of it. She has help me see that although dissociation is helpful, it could lead to suicide thought, accidents, loss of identity and sanity.
The soul of the world to me is my Religion, it has had an influence on my life for as long as I can remember. I was just a little preschooler when I was introduced to my faith, my parents sent me to a church camp after school for an hour or so every day. I had never had any real connections like many of the pastors claimed but I knew as long as I believed that good would come. For many years it didn't, yet I remained faithful. I always believed that if I remained faithful that nothing could ever hurt me, still with all my faith there were days where I questioned my belief. I wondered how any of this could actually be possible, if there was really a big man up in the sky watching me then why don't I ever see him. But as I grew older I learned
As I sat this morning reading this article, I thought of the many times, I, Personally have battled this "abyss". I know what it's like because I have been there. I don't and I may not fully understand or comprehend to understand what you have gone through in your life Halie, yet, I really want you to know that I am here for you, and that I love you no matter what. There is a personal story that I share and have shared many times in my course of missionary service. It's a story about a man. It goes something like this;
Over that last 3 years, four-year-old Eden Wood has competed in child beauty pageants. Her parents have used more than 70,000 dollars for Eden to compete in these competitions; because of her winnings she has produced between 25,000- 30,000 dollars in prize money. She has yet to receive any of her prize money because her parents use it to invest in the pageant circuit. Eden loves pageants and competing in them, but her story leaves me speculating if she is too consumed in beauty pageants, and the negative effects they are having on her (Lieberman). Even though beauty pageants help promote personal development, confidence, and communication skills; pageants have negative social and psychological effects on children and teens. It causes early childhood stress and anxiety and parents are putting their kids through the pageants to make a profit off of them.
Something I see in beauty pageants that reflects American culture is the overwhelming fact that Americans are obsessed with body image. Girls at an early age are expected to be skinny and look like Victoria Secret models. We have instilled the idea of looking perfect into young girl’s everyday life to where they are “growing up” at younger ages and feel the need to fit that image at a younger age. Martina Cartwright, who has a PhD and has studied child beauty pageants said in her article “Child Beauty Pageants Give Children Unrealistic Expectations”
Beauty pageants have been a competition in society as long as anyone can remember, whether it is formal or informal. From one girl comparing herself to a magazine, judging another when changing in the locker room, or attending a full, all out, extravagant and official pageant; it is really all the same. In this case, the direct topic being discussed is if beauty pageants are exploitive for young girls. Considering the stories on the news and reality television shows that display the craziness of it all, it is safe to say that entering in any young girl to beauty pageants is a brutal way of raising a child and does not hold any positive benefits in the long term.
...o to when I want to have a heart to heart conversation with God. This is the place where I have shed many tears and also had them wiped away. While the fact remains that my husband’s work and my studies takes a demanding toll of our time, we try to ensure that at the end of the day, we spend some time together. We have realised during our five years of marriage that when we keep God and family first, all the rest of our priorities fall into place the way they should. This room has helped play a role, albeit a minor one, in granting us this goal. It is an added boon in that it has granted solace to our weary souls and bodies. The lick on my fingers pulls me back from my reverie, I see my German Shepherd dog running around me in happy abandon. I look up to see my husband standing at the door, smiling and telling me that breakfast is ready. I smile back. I am home.
Dancing on stage in tiny, sequenced outfits, consuming tons of sugar and energy drinks, and being embellished with spray tans, fake hairpieces, and heavy makeup seems like a lot of fun for young girls. The chance to dress up like a princess and win tiaras or money is every little girl’s dream. Sadly, they do not know any better and are getting involved in activities that they should not be attracted to. According to Martina M. Cartwright’s article, “Beauty pageant participation has skyrocketed since the late 1990’s, and today more than 16,000 natural and glitz child pageants are held annually in the United States, with an estimated 290,000 contestants” (1105). Writer Lucy Wolfe, states in her article that many bloggers have scolded the parents of young girls for “pumping [their] young daughter full of uppers, teaching her that self-worth is tied to what other people think of her[,] and turning her into a total [expletive] monster” (429). She also describes a situation in January 2012 with a mother filing a $30 million lawsuit due to a public article that “[a]s a result, Isabella is now perceived sexually, erotically[,] and pornographically” (430). Unfortunately, Lindsay Lieberman states, “though commonly criticized for such outlandish and destructive practices the child pageant industry enjoys heightened success and widespread popularity” (745). The negative effects of children’s involvement in beauty pageants are becoming evident in their growth and development as young women. Examples include the physical, emotional, and societal lifetime challenges including body shame, perfectionism, depression, and eating disorders. Beauty pageants are brainwas...
Beauty pageants are too vigorous for children, and sending the wrong message as what beauty should look like. Beauty pageants have little girls as young as 4 years old spending hours preparing for a competition. They put on as much makeup as an adult would wear. They have fake eyelashes, fake teeth, spray tan, hair extensions, and some low cut outfit on, and then told to go on stage and impress the judges. If you are not a certain size and maintain that size, you are considered unattractive so many girls start obsessing about their weight at such a young age. They purposely starve themselves in order to stay at the "appropriate" weight in order to win. When contestants make poor judgments of themselves, it can lead to poor self- esteem and to eating disorders.