Personal Thinking Styles
Length: 1792 words (5.1 double-spaced pages)
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After taking the survey, my results depicted that my primary style of thinking is Affiliative. I find this someone accurate in how I live my life, however there are characteristics I exhibit which diminish my affliliative personality. I find that I am continuously trying to find that perfect relationship or bond with someone. Frankly, I find it hard to make connections with others because my continuous need to be perfect. I find that my closest and best relationships are those who have common values, way of living, and ideals about living life. Once I find a relationship that is trusting, I try to maintain it to my best ability. I am very easy to talk to, however my best communication is with others that have the same values. I express my liking for the other person by showing some generosity and kindness.
My professional attitude is similar. I find that I try to communicate well with others and express my interest through body language such as smiling, eye contact, nodding of my head, etc. I do to show that I can be personable and hope to build good relationships on that. Based on my scores, I also show higher scores for Conventional, Dependant, and/or Avoidance. This is true in the sense that sometimes, if I find myself too comfortable in a situation; I tend to become withdrawn in order to protect my well being. I don’t want people to take advantage of me, so I become distant after a certain point. This does cause conflict for me both at work and in my personal affairs.
My second highest score came from Perfectionist behavior. I think this tie hand in hand with Affiliative, in the sense I am trying hard to be accepted by others. I find that I am never satisfied with a situation, and find solutions for creating a challenge. Like I stated, I don’t let myself become to comfortable, so by becoming distant, I create a challenge for myself. I am not satisfied with a relationship if I am too comfortable, I try to find ways to improve. I have high standards which result in disappointment from people and myself if they aren’t met. At work I find competition, when I am not at the best, I am trying to always improve. I find this exhausting, because it is never enough.
I find my limiting quality is my perfectionist’s personality I find that by being a perfectionist, I am setting my standards too high and not allowing myself for error. In doing so, I become overwhelmed and exhausted that it is difficult for me to attain my goals. For example, in college, I was such a perfectionist that I kept challenging myself to finish ahead of time. I set standards for myself and every time I didn’t meet these standards I found disappointment in myself. Sometimes this led to discouragement to keep going with my career. I lost interest and did poorly sometimes due to over exhaustion. I find that because I am always trying to be the best and perfect in everything I do, I am unable to find a balance. When I find error, I grow intolerant and harsh. It has become so much of this that I have caused a burn out in myself. I have gotten so exhausted that I am unsure what path to take because I feel like I am always set up for failing. I find this limiting in my profession, because I oversee what is important, and lack organization and worry too much about the littlest things that aren't as important. I find myself consumed in projects that lead to poor time management. My behavior almost becomes repetitive, where I am trying over and over to complete a simple task to an unattainable standard.
Impact on Management Style
My personal styles have an important impact on my management styles. For example, I scored high in the need for approval. Based on the description, and my personal belief, I usually take this as a negative quality. For example, there are times where I am more than certain about a particular idea or suggestion, but when others oppose my idea, I doubt myself. This is leads to ineffectiveness as a manager because I am hesitant on making decisions because I want to approval from everyone. This does tend to show some good, because as a manager I would put the interest of others ahead. Sometimes we need to keep our team happy so they can perform at their best. By having their approval they may be more likely to succeed in the tasks they are working on.
The fact that I scored high in my achievement qualities proves that I can show initiative to make changes. I am not afraid to start a reformation in order to creative efficiency. Based on planning, I can take lead to make the proper adjustments. I am able to organize different tasks based on what needs to be done in order to attain such goals. In leading, more often than not, I want to control the path of a project. I feel that I am most effective when things are done to my standards and under my guidance. Over time, I have become more lenient and stopped setting unattainable standards for others. I would be there to show others what needs to be done as a teacher, but expect them to take their part in the project.
In addition to this quality, I show some self-actualizing characteristics. In my personal life, I live by the moment. I find that everyone is responsible for their own doing, and in order to obtain goals, we all need should take responsibility for our actions. I strive for development of the self and my urge to keep learning allows me to do so. I find this important in a planning perspective because I can assign task based on the learning curve. If I see someone would be in need of learning a new skill, I would use this opportunity for them to better their experience. I would make sure I have a backup incase there is a need for more help. In terms of organizing, I am able to select the proper team in order to complete something. I can distinguish what qualities a person exhibits and how it can help with that project specifically. As for leading, I can take the team in a direction in case there are obstacles that need to be cleared. I am able to accept some flaws and try to work around them in order to achieve that one goal.
My humanistic-encouraging manners show closeness to the high range. In accordance to this, I find that I am supportive of others and encouraging for others to do their best. I find this an important quality for management because I can motivate others to do well and succeed in their career. This plays an important role in leading others. Although it does say that my other qualities such as Conventional, Dependant, and Avoidant show to be high, I can show over-reliance on others for direction. I find this somewhat truthful; however, showing I am looking out for other’s best interest in most cases, I think I would take a role as an excellent mentor.
Genesis of Personal Style
I find that my upbringing has been a reflection of these personal styles. For example, my dad is very demanding, controlling, and himself a perfectionist. Growing up, I was always told to do something right or not to do it at all. Nothing was up to satisfaction for him. He was never satisfied with my accomplishments and always demanded more from me. Because of this behavior from him growing up, I developed the same standards for myself. I find myself to be over demanding, controlling, and a perfectionist. My mom on the other hand, always encouraged me to do my best and cared for the well being of others. I find from her caring nature, I have become somewhat understanding of others and protective of them as well. Since I always had to do my best, and having two older sisters to be compared to, I developed a competitive side as well. I was always trying to be the best at everything and wanted a lot of attention from others. I showed that in school since I didn’t have many close ties, I made up for this lack of social life through competition to do well in other parts. When I saw I succeeded in a task, I felt proud and accomplished. I graduated high school at #3 out of a class of about 400. I then went on to University of Illinois graduating in merely 3 years by overworking myself and challenging myself everyday. However, I think this routine caused a burn out for me, because after completing all these accomplishments, I felt that I was too tired to keep pushing myself to such great standards. I grew up too quickly, and didn’t stop to enjoy the things around me. I was always looking for approval from my parents, and since I never received much of it, I became dependant on others to be reassuring in my decisions.
Conclusion and Reflection
Through this process, I have learned that I need to become more understanding and a bit less demanding of others. It truly reflects that I try too hard to be perfect, which for anyone is impossible. There is no such thing as being perfect, and I need to be able to accept that so I can accomplish more in less time. I always thought I could lead others, but I know I lack some skills that would allow me to do so. For example, I become bored very quickly with assignments, perhaps I need to learn to follow through with tasks and build on my personal styles. If I become less avoidant, as well as less affiliative, perhaps I would be more effective in the sense I trust my own judgment. I will have faith in my decisions and be able to lead others with more confidence. I hope from this I will learn what tactics can help me become more efficient in management. Also I recommend this because it is a good depiction of how we act in our social life as well as professional life. Even though they are two separate parts of our lives, we act similar in both respects. By learning to become an effective manager, we can improve our personal relationships with others as well. I hope that I can become more creative with my thoughts and confident about my goals and decisions.