"So all things limp together for the only possible."
~ Excerpt from Samuel Beckett's Murphy
The "you" in Lorrie Moore's "How" is almost the completely opposite of the stereotypical roles we have assigned to men and women. "You" is assumed to be a female, mainly because of the fact that the other partner in the relationship is a male. Moore never specifies whether "you" is a female or male but because of the American view of a relationship, readers assume that "you" is a female. The narrator leaves you wondering how the characteristics of "you" contribute to the epigraph from Beckett. If the "you" is a female, then the epigraph explains why the female acts the way she does.
"You" does several things, which are normally viewed as masculine. After meeting the male, "you" begins to feel bored with the relationship. The narrator suggests to "make attempts at a less restrictive relationship... Clarify: rents are high, nothing long-range, love and all that, hon, but it's footloose."(Moore 79). Usually men are the ones to suggest seeing other people. "Think about leaving. About packing a bag and slithering off, out the door." (80). "You will meet another actor. Or maybe it's the same one. Begin to have an affair. Begin to lie." (82). Although stereotypical, men are also viewed to be the ones to leave and end the relationship as well as the ones who typically cheat on their partner.
"You" leaves dirty dishes in the sink and dirty clothes to be washed. "You" finally decides to end the relationship by taking him out to dinner and telling him that night while lying in bed that she is going to leave him and does not love him anymore.
The male seems to be the complete opposite of "you" by being very sensitive and having feminine qualities. He asks "you" to move in after the suggestion of a less restrictive arrangement. He wants to follow her wherever her career may lead her. "He craves a family, a neat nest of human bowls; he wants to have your children... he will begin to talk about a movie camera and children's encyclopedias, picking up size-one shoes in department stores." (80). The strong desire for a family is commonly affiliated with the woman. I am not stating that men do not usually want families, but the desire and need for one is typically greater on the woman's side.
The Emancipation of the once enslaved African American was the first stepping stone to the America that we know of today. Emancipation did not, however automatically equate to equality, as many will read from the awe-inspiring novel Passing Strange written by the talented Martha Sandweiss. The book gives us, at first glance, a seemingly tall tale of love, deception, and social importance that color played into the lives of all Americans post-emancipation. The ambiguity that King, the protagonist, so elegantly played into his daily life is unraveled, allowing a backstage view of the very paradox that was Charles King’s life.
A man named Bilal Nasir Khan once said, “The most painful goodbyes are the ones never said and never explained”. In the poem “Changes” by D. Ginette Clarke, the speaker is eager to understand the reasoning behind the end of his friendship with someone who he seems to have been very close with. As one reads through the poem, the strong connection that the persona feels between him and his friend becomes quite obvious. Granting the persona’s endeavour to express his feelings towards his failed friendship in a calm manner, he essentially comes off as a curious, eager, and desperate man. Clarke represents these specific characteristics of the speaker through the use of repetition, word choice, and punctuation.
The topics that Joe Ehrmann uses as framework for his Building Men for Others program are quite intriguing and make you really question masculinity. The first topic, rejecting false masculinity, can be interpreted a few different ways. In the book, it states: “As young boys, we’re told to be men, or to act like men” soon followed with “we’ve got all these parents say ‘be a man’ to boys that have no concept of what that means. I completely agree with the statement of Joe Ehrmann and often question the definition of ‘being a man’. Many boys and men will reject the idea of a man being anything other than being big and strong or having power. Overall instead of a true definition of a man, kids and even adults interpret it as athletic ability, sexual conquest, and economic success. The second topic Joe speaks about is the relationships that make a real man. In the book it states “the number one complaint I hear from most wives is ‘My husband has no relationships with other men.’ In other words, most
Expectations versus environment has been an ongoing argument on which is more effective on a destiny. However, environment has much more effect in a destiny. It is nearly impossible not to see this play out in today’s society. “The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore is a prime example of how environment overrides expectations when it comes to creating a destiny. This book is primarily about two boys with the same names, but incredibly different fates that were predetermined by their uncontrollable environment. Wes Moore(a) grew up to fulfil a role in the U.S. Army and write a book. Wes Moore(p) sealed his fate by committing a felony and earning a life sentence in prison. The environment runs through primary lives, late teens, and early adulthood,
Expectations influence who we become. Many factors come into play when we assess the lives of both Wes Moores introduced in the short novel The Other Wes Moore. Some of these factors are the expectations that shaped each man’s life. Moore illustrates his point when he writes, “The expectations that others place on us help us form our expectations of ourselves”(126). The explanation to the quote was it will help people to see the expectation of “thinking outside the box” means that think freely for themselves with better judgment in everyday life for their moral action in their society. Expectations from others have a strong impact on the choices an individual makes, and both Wes Moore’s choices were strongly influenced by the expectations
caused the wife to clean the dishes poorly resulting in dirty dishes. The husband threw the
I had an interview with my partner Her name is Juliet ,she is from Africa ,she moved to the United States with her husband and two children about 3 years ago . She is glad to come to the United States now she is living in the city of Fredericksburg with her husband and children ,she lives in the apartment, so asked her what do you like and what you do not like about your home ? She says I like my home because It is a good community and sometime i do not like it because i live at the second floor af the apartment and my children play at home it make my neighbor upset . She says I would like to buy house in the future and i would like to move from this Apartment . She says she has two kids, one boy and one girl and she is married ,her cousin also lives in the United States , most of her relatives live in her home country and she misses her mom more than anybody else.
The point is that once you start subjecting men to tests of their social position (especially the fight for women), all of this breaks down fairly reliably into leaders and followers, instigators and reactors, strong bidders and supplicators. People get subconsciously committed to these frames; we viscerally interpret a man switching roles (such as standing up to a bully, or gaming up when he had once been a tingle-killing chump) as incongruent with his personality. A good reason it’s easier to build your game immediately after moving or leaving school or a job.
Woman’s constant metaphors upset Man and portrays his loss of identity because it was something he previously enjoyed. In the play the audience can see this as it is illustrated through their dialogue when Woman states “You used to like my turns of phrases,” and Man replies with “That’s before I started rehab.” This infers that his transition has not been easy for him, but rather harder than he had initially expected and has taken a toll on his identity. Further, as Man describes his surroundings to Woman it is a very plain description, and no real vivid imagery until Woman pushes it on him to be more vivid. Man is being reserved in this dialogue which the reader can infer is connected to his anger and difficulty with being in rehab. However, the only time Man spoke descriptively was when he described the room. The room symbolized a lot of negativity and dreadfulness towards his current situation. He goes as far as to directly incline that he really wishes that he can have an alcoholic beverage. Thus, his description of the room clearly shows the reader the distress he is
The way in which the ideal man, in terms of the male gender role, is portrayed is as hyper-masculine. The hyper masculine man is very muscular, violent, powerful, and has good self-control. While the ideal man is hyper masculine not all men feel as though they fit into that category. To counteract this a subgroup of men have formed a slightly different form of masculinity called Metrosexual. Metrosexuality is expressed differently than hyper masculinity but still holds the same core ideas. Modern masculinity "cling[s] ever more tenaciously to old ideals" (Kimmel 218) of masculinity, men being the breadwinners, and men being the leaders of the household . The old ideal of men, this being white men, being the breadwinners and being in control of the family is challenged as women and minorities make social gains and enter previously male exclusive circles of life, especially the workforce. Stresses related to social life and financial situations cause white men to feel insecure about their masculinity. In turn, men cope with this insecurity by viewing women and minorities as 'others, ' and they "just lash out at 'them, ' 'others, ' who now occupy the positions that once belonged to native-born middle-class white men" (Kimmel 220). In viewing women and minorities as 'others ' men create a dichotomy of 'us verses them. ' Hyper-masculinity promotes men to view women as others, which
There seems to be a dominant view throughout Western Civilizations that we are all living in the best possible time to be alive so far. For many of us, that tends to be the case. In Western Civilizations, literacy rates are up, child mortality is low, race relations and the LGBTQIA movements have made strides, and technology has provided a level of convenience and excess not yet seen. These simple truths that we take for granted, however, are not simple truths all across the globe. In fact, many areas have suffered due to these advances. In the play, Ruined, by Lynn Nottage, a powerful narrative is told that serves as a commentary about the destruction of local cultures due to the intrusive nature of war and Western Civilization in that it
Watching old shows like Leave it to Beaver and The Andy Griffith Show, it is obvious that our current ideas about gender roles has shifted away from the idyllic family of the husband working and the wife staying at home to look after all the domestic needs. This is mostly because of the economy which as forced many women, whether they want to be or not, to join the work force to keep food on the table and a roof over their families head. While women have embraced this change and used it to show that they can do the same jobs males can, it has been harder for men to accept that they are no longer the sole provider for a family anymore, as pointed out in the article Why We Need to Reimagine Masculinity. It has become a necessity for many people
The things that make a man “manly” have changed greatly in the past couple of decades. The show Two and a Half Men represents this perfectly by showing the alternative portrayals of modern masculinity. They performances of hegemonic sub ordinance masculinity on Two and a Half Men reconstruct and reinforce the dominance of hegemonic masculinity within our society as the only acceptable performance of manhood. It has been said that for men the breadwinner ethic is the only acceptable state for an adult male do be in, and failure of this makes you not “fully male”. This statement is inferring that if you are a stay at home father or not the one with the highest paycheck you have ultimately failed at being a male, which is completely unacceptable. To continue, feminized masculinity is known as a “soft man”, and shows traits that are not usually tied to masculinity such as housework and emotional literacy. When males show traits such as these they are typically assimilated to a gay identity. Most heterosexual males do not want to be seen as a feminine, gay identity so they stay clear of anything that would infer that, further implementing these ideals of masculine traits and roles. This is shown in Two and a Half Men when Alan has more “feminine” traits like showing emotion by mourning his divorce, and doing the housework. Alan’s representation of
...ation of men and women to the reader; we accept the cliché’s and gender-roles as the collective standard.
Now, that you are a steady couple, even though you both still have separate places, he's at your home more than his own. You’ve now turned into a housewife, without having being a wife. ‘My grandmother use to tell Me.” ‘why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free.” Now the date nights have ceased and you’re cooking every day for him, he's semi moved into your place. But, not having any responsibility of paying bills. Giving him his own key, and you haven’t one to his place.