Triangular Theory of Love: Attachment Style and Life-Changing Events

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Attachment Style and Life-Changing Events

The termination of the romantic relationship may associate with both physical and mental responses. In a broader concept it may result in decline life-span due to suicide or homicide. The person whom I interviewed was a woman in her mid 40’s, who was working for an insurance company. She got divorced two and half years ago after twelve years of marriage. In her marriage she and her husband were committed and passionate to each other, but she felt lack of intimacy in her relationship as she always kept distance from her husband. Even when there was a struggle between her and her husband, she did not try to fix their problems and always overreacted instead of accepting her faults. However, she was in love with her husband. Following their divorce, she had her first hospitalization because she attempted suicide. She had three more hospitalizations after that, all for the same reason. Due to her situation her family asked her to moved with them in a different state in order to monitor and take care of her. Since she wanted to avoid any connections with her friends and family, she avoided to move with them. She also had two kids from her marriage, whom she did not even want to see because they reminded her of her husband.

Soon afterwards, she started to hate her job and her workplace, thus she quit. Accordingly, she faced a great deal of financial problems. She started to blame herself for the situation which she was struggling with. Consequently, she started to take drugs and drink alcohol, to cope with her tough situation. She felt anxious and resentful, and slowly started to show physical violence toward friends who wanted to help her. Finally, her friends took her to a psychi...

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...iewee adopted maladaptive coping strategies such as drinking and avoiding her support network. In general, avoidant people are less likely to use their social resources (family, friends, etc.) to help regulate their emotions, which in turn causes short-term and long-term harmful effects on their life.

References

Birnbaum, G. E., Orr, I., Mikulincer, M., & Florian, V. (1997). When marriage breaks up-does attachment style contribute to coping and mental health?. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 14(5), 643-654. Retrieved from 10.1177/0265407597145004

Davis, D., Shaver, P. R., & Vernon, M. L. (2003). Physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions to breaking up: The roles of gender, age, emotional involvement, and attachment style. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(7), 871-874. doi: 10.1177/0146167203029007006

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