Time to Follow your Heart

Everyone gains satisfaction and happiness from getting what he or she desires, but also gains pain from what an individual has earned. It is similar with love, when people think about being in a relationship, the majority will view it in an optimistic way. Nevertheless, it is not truly right; sometimes they will end up giving up something they valued for a long time. We can find two great examples in the stories in both “Marriage is a Private Affair,” and “Love Must not be Forgotten.” The main characters in both of the stories struggle with marriage problems and attempt to deal with themselves. In one story, it is the son who chooses to marry the one whom he loves, being disowned by his father. The other story is the opposite; the mother follows the traditional marriage, which she ends up losing her true love.

The story “Marriage is a Private Affair” introduces a conflict between tradition mind-sets and modern mind-sets. The father, Okeke, is towards tradition, supporting the arranged marriage, but the son, Nnaemeka wants to marry whom he loves. This, then, leads to a quarrel within the family having two opposite mind-sets. This is the main problem that occurred in the story. “’Marriage today is different…’ (Nnaemeka) ‘Look here son,’ interrupted his father, ‘nothing is different. What one looks for in a wife are a good character and a Christian background.’” (Achebe, 190). The quote displays two different views of marriage. The father plans his son to marry Ugoye, but the son loves Nene.

As a response to the conflict between the son and the father, Nnaemeka decides to go with his heart, marrying Nene. For choosing this path, Nnaemeka faces a big circumstance. “’I owe it to you, my son, as a duty to show you what is right a...

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... marry that person. Marriage is not just family-to-family agreement, but also individuals’ agreement. If one is not happy about the marriage, he or she will end up like the mother in the story, “Love Must Not be Forgotten.” At least, I would feel that way and I do not want to end up regretting.

It is clear to see both stories, “Marriage is a Private Affair” and “Love Must not be Forgotten,” have conflicts between tradition and modernized mind-sets. Both protagonists gains and loses out of marriage. Nnaemeka gains his true love, but loses his strong relationship with his father; whilst the mother loses her true love because of tradition mind-set, and gains a lesson from it. Both stories have similar moral, to wait for the right one and marry someone you love. Brigitte Nicole once said, “If you don’t follow your heart, you might spend rest of your wishing you had.”