Those Winter Sundays

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Distance is a problem in many homes whether it be through emotional distance or physical Distance or it may just be that the word love is not spoken enough, in both Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays” and Rita Dove’s “Daystar” is a distant parent are they selfish or mean or is the love they do show just not understood?

In Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays” show that children have a hard time understanding why a parent is distant the speaker says “Sundays too my father got up early and put his clothes on/ in the blueblack cold,”(Line 1-2) the father even gets up very early on Sundays as in the “blueblack cold” the speaker seems to not understand why the father does this why does he get up so early day after day? He seems to ask himself. The speaker observes that “ …With cracked hands the ached from labor in the weekday weather/ banked fires blazed”(Line 3-5) the father works hard for his family his hands are cracked and sore and he still gets up earlier then the rest of his family and makes the fire blaze to warm the house for them.

Distant parents even if they mean well and try to convey their love to their families through actions or deeds as the speaker states “No one ever thanked him” the father not seen as loving to the child. (Line 5)

The speaker says “I will rise and dress, fearing the chronic angers of that house,” there is usually a lot of tension and fear in a house hold with bad communication skills, the mother and father may fight or argue often or the distant parent if not both of them may be angry that the child does not understand their love and compassion

The children grow to be uncaring and unresponsive to the actions that the parents do for the family as the speake...

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...e that was hers for an hour”(Line 16-20) when they are making love she day dreams of her time with her self and the only thing she has is her thoughts she has no desire to love her husband as the speaker explains she thinks of the place “where she [is] nothing, pure nothing, in the middle of the day.”(Line 20-22)

In Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays” there is a father who loves his cild and does kind things for his family he works hard getting up early everyday and “No one ever thanked him” (Hayden Line 5) and in Rita Dove’s “Daystar” there is the mother who is deeply depressed and is not happy with the life she has she is unhappy was being a mother and goes through the motions of everyday life because she has to as a mother. Children never benefit from distance in the home they rarely understand it and they never feel loved.

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