Problems With Living Together Before Marriage

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Kim has just signed her divorce papers and cannot hide the sadness and confusion she feels. Two years ago everyone told her living with her boyfriend was a great idea. They said she would be able to get to know him better and see if marriage would work. She trusted her friends and thought that since everyone else was doing it that it must be the wisest choice. What went wrong? Why was she unhappy with her marriage even after getting to know her husband through cohabitation? Would things have been different if she had not listened to her friends and everyone else around her? Couples are choosing to live together before marriage or instead of marriage more often as the years go by. Cohabitation outside of marriage results in an unhealthy situation for children, less commitment to the relationship, and causes problems if the couple does decide to marry.
One of the problems that cohabitation (living together romantically outside of marriage) causes is an unhealthy living situation for children. Katherine Kersten, Senior Fellow at the Center of American Experiment, says children living in a cohabiting home with their mother and her boyfriend versus a home with their married parents are eleven times more likely to be abused emotionally, physically, or sexually (Kersten, 2013). This is generally because the boyfriend does not feel emotionally tied to the child because it is not his own. Linda J. Waite (2000), a marriage research and sociologist, says in her article about cohabitation that, “When it comes to hitting, shoving, and throwing things cohabiting couples are more than three times more likely than the married to say things get that far out of hand” (p. 3). It may be argued that cohabitation is better for children tha...

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...e and be with forever, than it is clearly not working.

References
Edmonds, M. (2013). Does living together before marriage lead to divorce?
Retrieved on November 6, 2013 from http://www.health.howstuffworks.com/ relationahips/advice/living-together-before-marriage.htm Kersten, K. (2013, July). Living together before marriage harms women. Retrieved on November
6, 2013 from http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentaries/217173431.html
Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G.K., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Sliding versus deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations, 55(4), 499-509. Retrieved from http://0- search.proquest.com.clicnet.clic.edu/docview/213933889?accountid=12915 Waite, L. J. (2000). The negative effects of cohabitation. The Communitarian Network, 10(1),
1-6. Retrieved from http://www.gwu.edu/~ccps/rcq/rcq_negativeeffects_waite.html

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