The Qualms of Communication
"He never talks to me!" That phrase is the most common complaint that women have about men. The communication process between men and women has long been an interest for many people. The way we speak and why we speak that way have prompted diverse opinions from various authors over the years. Deborah Tannen is one such author. Tannen, who has a doctorate in linguistics, is a professor at Georgetown University. She has been studying the way people communicate and the problems they have communicating with each other for many years. Her studies inspired her to write several books on the subject. The excerpt “Put Down That Paper and Talk To Me,” which appears in the textbook Writing the World, was taken from her best-seller You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, written in 1991. Deborah Tannen believes men and women talk differently because they are raised in two different conversational cultures and that problems arise because of conversational style. She thinks that boys are taught to speak like men and girls taught to talk like women. In the essay Tannen addresses many of the misgivings of communication, based upon her numerous studies, that she believes proves men and women really are taught to talk a certain way.
Deborah Tannen has been studying how people communicate with each other and she believes it starts at a very early age. Starting when we are very young, we communicate very differently. On a television show titled “She Said, He Said,” Tannen showed some video recording on a study of hers that had two same-sex children enter a room and sit and talk to each other. She performed this same study on varying ages of children from 5 to 16 and in every case the results were the same. She found that the boys would sit side by side and would speak almost distractedly, while looking about the room. The girls would enter the room, place their chairs facing each other, and would speak looking directly at each other. To Tannen, this study showed how males do not talk with much intimacy. Their relationships are held together by performing activities in a group, such as sports or politics. She believes men speak when they feel a need to impress or if their social status is in question. The females however, spoke with much more closeness. Tannen says, “For females, talk is the glue that holds their relationships...
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...them control power, wealth, and social resources because men think that women do not want them. Another one of Tannen’s critics, Senta Troemel-Ploetz, accuses Deborah Tannen of ignoring the possibility that men and women communicate differently because of differences of power. Troemel-Ploetz contends that the problem goes beyond conversational style. She believes that Tannen completely misses the power-struggle between the two sexes in the ways that they speak. She believes that society is giving men too much power in speaking and essentially how people are leading their lives.
Tannen’s advice on how to solve communication problems is mainly just to understand the differences in the way we speak. Tannen says, “Many men honestly do not know what women want, and women honestly do not know why men find what they want so hard to comprehend and deliver.” Men and women are different so naturally we will behave and talk differently. Since we start communicating at a young age Tannen believes we are raised to speak in separate worlds by a combination of cultural and biological influences, and if we can better understand our differences, we can solve many of the qualms of communication.
Throughout “Shattering the Meat Myth”, Freston attempts to convince her audience that eating animal protein is detrimental to the health of humans. While most vegetarian diets (if followed with precision) are very healthy, practicing a diet that involves meat is not necessarily as deteriorating as she implies. Freston quotes Dr. William C. Roberts, editor of American Journal of Cardiology, pertaining to subject of saturated fats and cholesterol. He states, “When we kill animals to eat them, they end up killing us…” (Freston). This statement however is an example of oversimplification and an appeal to bathos, referencing the power of death. In reality, there are a variety of factors that contribute to the overall health of an individual and consuming animal products, in itself, has not been shown by scientific evidence to cause fatality. Kathy Freston also includes a quotation from Dr. Neal Barnard,
They've studied about 53.000 participants. Among these participants were about 17.000 vegetarians. They've studied the data of all these participants and something interesting became clear: People that were not consuming meat during their lifetime had fewer cancers on average than people who were consuming meat. There was also a remarkable result. Colon cancer is a type of cancer associated with consuming of red meat. However it became clear from the study that vegetarians had more colon cancer than other participants. Although the results are interesting, it's not completely new. It is already well known that people can reduce the cancer if they regularly eat fruit and vegetables. If you stick to this then it is said that you can decrease the risk of getting cancer. The new element of this study however is the fact that it concentrates on full vegetarians. The study doesn't only focus on meat eaters that eat fruit and vegetables occasionally. This gives a better view on the effect of meat by itself on the development of cancer. The researchers studied the participants from the age of 20 to 89. These people were organized into 4 groups. There were of course the meat-eaters. Also people who ate fish got their own group. The remaining groups were the vegetarians and the extreme vegetarians. Extreme vegetarians are also called vegans. What the difference is between vegetarians and vegans is that vegans are very strict. Vegetarians just avoid meat and such things. Vegans avoid every ingredient that is related to animals. Vegans don't even want to wear clothes that were made of animals. So vegans go much further than a 'normal vegetarian' The group of people who ate fish and the vegetarians showed fewer cancers than meat eaters. So it's not only vegetarians that show better results. The people who eat fish also
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” as the famous saying of John Gray goes. It is believed men and women are nothing alike in almost every aspect. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Gender in the classroom: Teacher’s Classroom Strategies Should Recognize that Men and Women Use Language Differently” she focused on how men and women differ when it comes to communicating, with emphasis on how it effects to how men and women behave in the classroom.
Communication between men and women is a constant comparison of differing and many times opposite forms of reasoning. But should these differences hinder our ability to communicate with the opposite sex? There are many differing opinions concerning this topic. While trying to understand our differences we have lost site of the fact that somewhere in our conflicting thought patterns and methods of communication is the challenge and intrigue that attracts us to the opposite sex. Rather than seeing our communication diversities as obstacles we should consider them challenges that draw and keep our attention. You do not need to be an expert on human behavior to appreciate gender classified language and its effects on male female relationships, however many experts have attempted to tackle the issue.
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Since the end of the Korean War, the United States has enacted policies to isolate and undermine the Kim Dynasty in North Korea. A key development took place in the past several decades where North Korea broke away from the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) to develop their own nuclear weapons and while lacking launch capabilities, they have been successful in their development. During this process, the United States took active policies to deter the North Koreans in pursuit of their goals. It is easy to assume that the United States took this stance in order to maintain a military edge in the region. But under closer examination, this neo-realist perspective does not explain why the United States pursued this policy. In reality, North Korea to this day does not pose a significant military threat, even with limited nuclear capabilities. A constructivist perspective is more able to explain US policy in this instance because it does not focus on sheer militaristic power. It takes into consideration the state's identities which drives their interests. The identities of the US and North Korea and the interactions between them drove both nations to the point of acquiring and deterring nuclear use.
In the introduction of Deborah Tannen’s “Conversation Style: Talking on the Job”, she compares and contrasts the ways men and women communicate. This reminds me of what I tell people that are struggling in their relationships. Women and men express themselves differently. Women think, but men act. If you can’t wrap your head around this, being in a relationship with anyone is going to be hard. Yet, this is such a basic way of looking at this issue. Not only are the genders vastly different, but each person relates to the world around them in a certain way. He or she also needs to be related to in a specific way. Looking at personalities and personal histories can give a better look at the way we communicate with each other. Tannen examines
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Since its origin in 1948, North Korea has been isolated and heavily armed, with hostile relations with South Korea and Western countries. It has developed a capability to produce short- and medium-range missiles, chemical weapons, and possibly biological and nuclear weapons. In December 2002, Pyongyang lifted the freeze on its plutonium-based nuclear weapons program and expelled IAEA inspectors who had been monitoring the freeze under the Agreed Framework of October 1994. As the Bush administration was arguing its case at the United Nations for disarming Iraq, the world has been hit with alarming news of a more menacing threat: North Korea has an advanced nuclear weapons program that, U.S. officials believe, has already produced one or two nuclear bombs. As the most recent standoff with North Korea over nuclear missile-testing approaches the decompression point, the United States needs to own up to a central truth: The region of Northeast Asia will never be fully secure until the communist dictatorship of North Korea passes from the scene. After threatening to test a new, long-range missile, Pyongyang says it is willing to negotiate with "the hostile nations" opposing it. But whether the North will actually forgo its test launch is anyone's guess. North Korea first became embroiled with nuclear politics during the Korean War. Although nuclear weapons were never used in Korea, American political leaders and military commanders threatened to use nuclear weapons to end the Korean War on terms favorable to the United States. In 1958, the United States deployed nuclear weapons to South Korea for the first time, and the weapons remained there until President George Bush ordered their withdrawal in 1991. North Korean government stateme...
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
Moderation is vital in all aspects of life and is necessary for overall health, including with one’s food intake. Protein is one of the many important nutrient building blocks that is necessary for proper growth and good health. However, eating excessive amounts of any nutrient or inadequate amounts, can cause various health concerns. Scientists have been able to estimate the amount of nutrients that the body requires. However, the amount of any particular nutrient varies from person to person, depending on your “age, sex, general health status, physical activity level, and use of medications and drugs” (Schiff 2013). It is also important to remember that consuming the required amount of nutrients that meets your dietary guidelines does not
Author Deborah Tannen became well known for composing her book, “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.” Like Gray, Tannen includes her perception on how men and women differ in communication. In addition, she includes her observations on how early does the differences occur. Tannen states that gender difference in communication styles appear at a young age. She then supports her claim by providing how young boys and girls achieve friends. They young boys created relationships with one another by doing things together. Young girls created relationships by simply talking to one another. According to Tanner, men only will approach conversations with the goal of “transmitting information” or “offering advice” (Tannen, 1990). She also includes that when women are discussing a problem within one another, the women form a bond together and seek to maintain an intimate relationship. However, when men hear women talking about problems, they offer a quick solution and then dismiss the problem. These results give the belief of why there are more woman social workers and counselors than males. Tannen’s book helped explain why women find men as insensitive. For example, if a couple is talking and the female directs a conversation to a conflict that she’s having, the male wouldn’t show as much compassion. He would only offer solutions to the problem and then try to direct
This paper aims to examine how gender differences are manifested in linguistic behavior. It focuses on the way men and women speak rather than that they are spoken about. Their speech differences in politeness, interaction, style and confidence are socialization practices which connote the power inequality between the two sexes. Examples of genderlects will be presented, and possible explanations from different perspectives will be evaluated before making a reasonable conclusion on the issue.
Author, Professor Deborah Tannen uses different examples from studies based on the article American Psychologist by Eleanor Macoby which she proves many problems genders face when communicating. Men have a hard time staying on one subject for too long they tend to switch conversations like flashcards due to wanting to get to the point while women tend to like talking about details. Women commonly hold men to a standard when they request being listened to but take in matter how their being listened to as if they are or not. Every man has his own way of coping when listening some look around the room, make beats with their fingers and close their eyes women would see this as not listening. The case is not that men aren't listening but that women like havin...
The health benefits of a vegetarian diet are hard to ignore. Vegetarians have a lower chance of developing many diseases, such as cancer and diabetes. Women who eat meat daily are more likely to develop breast cancer. According to an article in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, “consumption of well-done meats and, thus, exposures to heterocyclic amines (or other compounds) formed during high-temperature cooking may play an important role in the risk of breast cancer.” Men are also more than almost more likely to develop prostate cancer than those who do not include meat in their everyday diets. “Up to 80 percent of prostate cancer is attributed to dietary practices, and international comparisons show strong positive associations with meat consumption” (Alexander, 2010). Vegetarians have also shown to have lower blood pressure, better digestion, and more energy than humans with a meat based diet. The effects of a vegetarian life style ...