Discussion of Significant Differences Between Men's and Women's Talking Manners
Beginning with the role of compliments in female-male interaction by
Janet Holmes in Reading B of Chapter 1 of your textbook Using English:
from conversation to canon, discuss the significant differences
between men’s and women’s talk – the way they interact, their choice
of words and phrases and the topics they like to discuss.
The linguist Halliday (1978) suggests that language has a dual
function; it communicates ideational meaning, in terms of the
information and ideas expressed, and it also communicates
interpersonal meaning, expressing the degree of friendliness, or
status difference between speakers. Since women and men occupy
different subcultures, and subcultures are also differentiated
according to how language is used, it is reasonable to say that the
genders would exhibit distinctive language patterns. ( Maybin, Mercer,
p5 )
Beginning with the work of Lakoff (1975), which documented that women
and men communicate on the basis of languages which are differentiated
according to gender. She suggests that women use more tag questions
(eg. Isn’t it? Don’t you think? ) more indirect polite forms (eg.
Could you please? ) more intensifiers (eg. Really ) and what she sees
as generally weaker vocabulary ( eg. Words like lovely and Oh dear ).
Linguists use the term female register to indicate a particular set
of grammatical constructions that are used primarily by women. (
Crosby and Nyquist, 1977).
Usage of Qualifiers
First, women use more qualifiers than men. These words hedge or
soften statements that are mostly evaluative in na...
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... conversation’,
Language, vol. 50, no. 4 pp 696-735
34. Tannen, D. (1984) Conversational Style: analyzing talk among
friends, Norwood, N.J., Ablex.
35.Tannen, D. (1989) Talking voices: repetition, dialogue and imagery
in conversational discourse, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.
36. Wolfson, N. (1982) CHP: the conversational historical present in
American English narrative, Cinnaminson, USA. Foris.
Robin Lakoff (1975) also suggests that women use more tag questions
like ( isn’t it? Don’t you think?) more indirect polite forms (eg.
Could you possibly? ) more intensifiers (eg. Really) ; and weaker
vocabulary (eg. Words like lovely and Oh dear ) She also observed that
men tend to dominate the topics and the management of mixed gender
conversation, interrupting more and giving less feedback and support.
Deborah Tannen has achieved scholarly and public praise for her conclusions about how women and men differ in conversational styles. You Just Don’t Understand[6] clarifies stylistic differences in how the two sexes communicate with each other.
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
In her article “But What Do You Mean” Deborah Tannen, claims that there is a huge difference in the style of communicating between men and women. Tannen breaks these down into seven different categories; apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. With each of these she compares men to women by explaining the common misconceptions that each of the genders do. The different style of communication can cause some problems at the workplace and even affect the environment. The different styles of communication has been around forever and almost becomes a “ritual”(299). Tannen is effective with mainly women and not men. She is primarily successful with women due to the fact that her tone targets women, also the organization
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Several weeks ago I observed a woman at the Mall. She and a young man sitting directly across from each other were engaged in what was apparently a mutual flirting. But the younger man seemed much more confident and cocky than did the woman. For one thing, he was more relaxed and calm. The woman, however, kept her arms folded over a bag that she was holding on to very tightly. The woman also had a strong tendency to look down more often than the man. Although her admiration for him was obvious, she seemed to be trying hard to conceal it. Often women seem to be more noticeably shy than men. Non-verbally, their “body language'; seems to communicate their feelings of great uncertainty and self-consciousness.
Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women share. These networks also differ and as do the reasonings for their formation. Although we do not think that men and women need to change their cultures to effectively communicate, we do think that better communication is possible. One of the researchers we took a look at was Deborah Tannen. According to Tannen the reason that men and women do not communicate well is that men and women use language differently. Women take the attitude that conversation is to explore solutions to common problems while men concern themselves more with getting information and hard data from conversation. Tannen states that what women look for in communication is human connection, while men consider status to be most important. They are looking for independence and are constantly looking for higher accomplishments. Intimacy threatens this independence, so men have a tendency to avoid it. One of the old sayings about women is that they talk more than men. It turns out that it is not necessarily true. Women seem to talk more in private conversations than do men. Women do not generally have a fear of intimacy and therefore are much more open with one another during private conversations. It is more difficult for women to use this type of communication style in the public arena. In that case it is men that do most of the talking. Tannen ultimately argues that men use communication as a weapon. They use long explanations to command attention from who it is they are speaking to. They use it to convey information and to ultimately gain agreement. Tannen suggests that through even simple conversation men are continually protecting their status. She sugg...
A lot of attention has been dedicated to the thought that women and men communicate very differently from one another. In this paper I am going to discuss the gender differences in communications between the opposite sexes. Many believe that gender plays a major role in communication but in all reality, that isn’t the case. Several factors play a part in how someone communicates with another person regardless of their sex. The main question is what role does gender play in communication or is it the roles our cultures put on genders’. In my opinion, it is the way we were raised that affects the way we communicate.
In the present United States, a mixture of males and females make up a university classroom. In life, males and females have different conversational styles. The ways that they communicate to each other in a conversation, as well as how they communicate with their instructors and peers in the classroom. Although there is a combination of both genders in the classrooms, schools gravitate more towards using learning techniques that are more applicable towards men than women (Tannen 369). When teaching with a mixture of people that learn differently, it is difficult to have a certain technique to use that would help everybody in the same way. Yet it is important that equal opportunities are given to both genders that allows them to do their best and succeed in their academic careers. Educational professionals need to understand the conversational differences in gender and have better teaching strategies that fit both male and female conversational styles.
Communication is an essential part of human life. People perceive things in a different way because of ethnic background differences, attitudes and beliefs, etc. These differences may affect our ability to communicate with our counterpart. Therefore, it is necessary to keep our mind open so that we can reduce the risk of communication breakdown. Men and women are different as everyone knows that. However, their differences are no just physiological and anatomical. Recent researches have concluded that there are remarkable differences between the two genders in the way their brains process information, language, emotion, cognition etc. Scientists have discovered the differences in the way men and women carry out mental functions like judging speed, estimating time, spatial visualization and positioning, mental calculation. Men and women are strikingly different not only in these tasks but also in the way their brains process language. This could account for the reason why there are overwhelmingly more male mathematicians, pilots, mechanical engineers, race car drivers and space scientists than females. On the other hand, there are areas in which women outperform men. Women are naturally endowed with better communication and verbal abilities. They are also effective than men in some of the tasks like emotional empathy, establishing human relations, carrying out pre-planned tasks and creative expressions (Kimura 1999).
Among the major social determinants of linguistic variation, gender is widely considered to be one of the most significant ones. According to research on a range of linguistic features, gender may even be the dominant factor.
Communication is a necessary skill for success in life. Misunderstandings in communication occur frequently between people due to language and perceptual differences. In intimate relationships, this misunderstanding in communication between the man and the woman leads to great agitation and tension -- seemingly the two sexes speak in completely different vernaculars. The Genderlect Style Theory explains that men and women talk in distinct cultural dialects and mannerisms, which reflect the different genders’ objectives; men desire status and achievement, while women desire personal connections and relationships. In the following pages, I will identify the theorist behind the Genderlect Style Theory, examine her educational history, and discuss other contributions she has made in the world of social sciences and psychology. Using physical examples, I will demonstrate the Genderlect Style Theory in the real world to steel our understanding. Lastly, I will explain what I have personally gleaned from my research.
Everyone has a certain type of communication style that we rely on to communicate with others. The style we chose to express ourselves, usually shows a great deal about our personalities. Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive are four types of communication. Out of all these, assertive communication is the most beneficial for everyone, because it gets your point across without taking away other people's voices.
Through out my adolescence and now as a young adult, I have always taken an interest in the discussion of gender and women’s studies. I have always questioned the status quo and for the last couple of days I have embarked to be critically observant to the communication that is influenced by gender around me. As I began this class, I had just returned from a month long visit to Colombia where I spent time with family. As both a feminist and the by-product of two differing cultures, it was interesting to find the ways in which the culture my aunts participated in was more “traditional” than I expected. Both the culture at home and the mass media messages in the country were indicative of a dynamic where a woman is expected to be “polite, neat,
The book An Intorduction of Sociolinguistics is an outstanding introductary book in the field of sociolinguistics. It encompasses a wide range of language issues. In chapter 13, Wardhaugh provides a good insight to the relationship between language and gender. He explains gender differences of language-in-use with concise examples. Wardhaugh riases questions about sexist language and guides readers to look closer at how people use language differently because of their own gender in daily life. According to the Whorfian hypothesis, which indicates that the way people use language reflects their thoughts, different genders adapt different communication strategies.
“Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” It’s the thought that crosses everyone’s mind; are men and women the same? In many ways men and women are different. When people think about men and women they do not think similarities even though there are many reasons why they should. The differences between the two are much larger than the similarities but they are still there. Stereotypes have a lot to do with this because the way the world sees females and males affect how they act. Three of the main differences and similarities are within parenting, physical shape, and emotional state.