The Not So Perfect High School Experience

Whenever an institution of great learning is initiated, especially that of the public variety, certain benchmarks must be adhered to so that the fullest amount of education may be transcribed from one mind to that of the learning. Yet, how can one be assured that their institution of public loit-…learning is up to par, so to say? For you paragons of higher education, fear not! There is one such example, nay, pinnacle of exemplary education of excellent learning and that is D.C. Everest Sr. High, heralding from the ultimate source of culture, Wisconsin!

Firstly, one must take care to examine how to shepherd the students in the most effectively available manner. I propose the bell. Anthropologists claim that actual bells were once used to signal a designated time elapsation. However, a recent poll of middle schoolers states that high schoolers respond better to the sound of an artificial ding. Now, precisely when should this illustrious ding resonate and reverberate throughout the halls? The answer is simply this: it’s clearly in the best interest of the students to have an overlapping schedule to allow a constant reminder of the time. No longer will someone sit in agony in 4th hour and wonder when class ends, because the reliable ding (which is never wrong) shall designate the end of 4th hour, and allow those to continue 4/5 without frustration (if this system seems ludicrous to you, it is only because you are clearly uncouth to miss the wisdom behind this system).

But, some of you may wonder why the different schedules are needed. This brings me to the next fantastical point of how Everest has outdone themselves in the field of education.

Secondarily, one must be aware of how to handle distractions such as “socialization”. The schedules are to the benefit of the students, for they provide not one, not two, but three entire 6 minute lunch hours! Studies have shown that knowledge retention increases by 2.6% when lunch is limited to precisely 6 minutes, thus the entire reasoning behind the schedules. In fact, it is a welly accepted fact that socialization is an unnecessary distraction within such hallowed halls of education. Thanks to the foresight of the administration, most of this distraction has been eliminated, which leads to the next important point: Course Selection. Thankfully, the courses offered at D.