Oh to be loved! How I long for that experience: to be needed and desired, to be chased and to know without a doubt that I posses someone’s deepest affections. I long to be folded up in their arms and to know that I am safe. Embarking on a great adventure with a companion who will never fail me would be utterly wondrous. The things we would conquer! The heights we would reach! The depths we would explore and the love that would be forever ours. No, I cannot afford to let myself indulge in such silly fantasies. For that is what they truly are, at least that is what I must tell myself. For someone in my position, I cannot even dare to hope for such a reality. Yet no matter how hard I try to push it away, no matter how hard I try to bury it beneath layers of callous, it always comes back. Wriggling its way into my heart and plunging its merciless roots into my very core. Sometimes I can cover the pain at least for a while. Letting my mind slide into oblivion while another uses me for their own sick pleasure. It is reduced to a dull ache then, just a distant throbbing, Laborious and afflicting, yet to some extent livable. Looking back on days gone by, I remember the ignorance into which I was born. If only I could return to those days and let myself be blind just a few moments longer. I still felt the pain then, yes, but I had hope of a sort. I thought I could free myself from its grasp, I thought I could climb out of the pit of longing I had inherited. So began my search. I began giving myself to others to see if they could fill my emptiness. My heart came first and my body followed. For a while, I felt I had the answer. Finally, the solution was within my grasp! However, as I would discover, I could never reach it. I could neve... ... middle of paper ... ...as though in that one look he saw all of who I was, all of what I had done. Yet he was not disgusted or repulsed as I would have expected. Instead, he took my shaking body into his arms and spoke tenderly to me. His words moved my soul as though it was made to hear them. His voice penetrated to the deep layers of my heart, cutting through the callous and rooting out the seeds of wickedness that had for so long made their home there. He told me from then on he would take me as his betrothed, he would clothe me in robes of glory, he would satisfy my hungry soul, and best of all he would love me. If a thousand pens were to undertake a description of the joy that I felt at that moment they would produce but a shadow of the original. Therefore, I shall not even attempt it. I must content myself simply to say that his love was life to me, and his love endures forever.
"It was cold and we were huddled in jackets and I thought he was crazy to stop. He said to come look over here. So I walked with him to the edge. He told me he could never express how much he loved me, but he wanted to spend his life trying, and went down in one knee and pulled out a box. I started kissing him and saying, 'Yes, yes!"
did not return his love. He felt passionately about things that he did, even if
reminds him, "had a consecration of its own. We felt it so! We said to each
I would shut my eyes because I knew what was coming. And before I shut my eyes, I held my breath, like a swimmer ready to dive into a deep ocean. I could never watch when his hands came toward me; I only patiently waited for the harsh sound of the strike. I would always remember his eyes right before I closed my own: pupils wide with rage, cold, and dark eyebrows clenched with hate. When it finally came, I never knew which fist hit me first, or which blow sent me to my knees because I could not bring myself to open my eyes. They were closed because I didn’t want to see what he had promised he would never do again. In the darkness of my mind, I could escape to a paradise where he would never reach me. I would find again the haven where I kept my hopes, dreams, and childhood memories. His words could not devour me there, and his violence could not poison my soul because I was in my own world, away from this reality. When it was all over, and the only thing left were bruises, tears, and bleeding flesh, I felt a relief run through my body. It was so predictable. For there was no more need to recede, only to recover. There was no more reason to be afraid; it was over. He would feel sorry for me, promise that it would never happen again, hold me, and say how much he loved me. This was the end of the pain, not the beginning, and I believed that everything would be all right.
For twelve years I’ve tried to hide my pain and fear from you. I’ve been trying to ignore the horror stories, unknowingly blinding myself from the stories of hope. I’m not as bitter as this story may lead you to think. In fact, I am an adamant believer in the statement (overheard three years ago in the Coffee House): “God has never taken anything away from me that he hasn’t replaced with something better.”
elation in love has been expressed in such a way that it tugs on the
my mind and revealed his dreams. I have held my grip on the exhilaration that
In Enlightenment as Mass Deception, Theodor Adorno and Max Horkheimer use the term culture industry to represent the commercial marketing of culture. In our capitalist society, culture has been modified into merchandise that can be bought and sold and has essentially turned us into manufactured people. By placing the words culture and industry together, Adorno and Horkheimer create a new meaning that is meant to question the reality that we perceive. Originally, culture was a way for people to be unique, emphasizing individuality and creativity but is now being used as a form of mass deception. It leads people to believe that they are content regardless of their economic standing and is a way for capitalism to create false needs that only capitalism can satisfy when our only needs are happiness, freedom and creativity. To Adorno and Horkheimer, this causes our society to live in falsity and forces the people further away from enlightenment as mass deception and in turn, causes the people to become objects of mass production.
You walk, you breathe, and that’s enough for people. But the older we get, the more the rose-colored glasses crack, and move beyond repair; the ugly truth rears its head as it always has. Before this happened for me, I believed in many things. I believed in the goodness of people, that they could be good, simply because. I believed that people loved, because it was the right thing to do. When I found my glasses, literally and figuratively smashed in 4th grade, I saw the world for what it was; a mess of intricate stories and ideas; and people were no longer simple. While this event may have been jarring and unbearable for some, I pressed forward, because there had to be something brighter, waiting. Although I’ve grown, I am still young and I have yet to find my purpose, as many much older than I haven’t as
“ At a change in his manner as if he were even going to embrace me, I
Keeping almost silent I could see my beautiful grandmother sitting in the dining room in conversation with God. From the back I could see the curls of her long hair draped across her shoulders. As she turned around the sun set lazily in her hazel eyes as tears baptized her cheeks. Frozen like statues in a stone garden my mom, my brother and I were told the two words that shook the foundation of everything I knew to be good and strong: "He pa...
After praying for a lengthy time, I began to feel revived and refreshed. The Lord had removed the burden from my heart and replaced it with a heart of peace. I walked over to my bed, and realized immediately, that I had not even made my bed this morning. I got everything cleaned up and put in order in my cabin.
Love is found on the battle field of two passion driven hearts. I am thankful for every chill and every goose bump I get, simply from the thought of being in love. The power of love that flows from every tear drop rinses off the bad memories of yesterday, cleansing my body and my soul. I hear my racing heart, pounding in my chest, every beat pulling me closer to the reigns of love. The empowering smell of love in in the air drives me insane, and I feel the strength of the grasp of love upon my soul. The thanks I feel for beholding the gift of love is huge, bigger than I would have ever imagined.
There she sat, precisely three feet away from me. Her eyes glistened in the sunlight peeping in through the window. I will tell you the truth. She was the most perfect person I have ever seen. The way her spine curved around the seat of the chair. The way she carefully held the mug of coffee in her hand. The way her luscious curly locks hung over her shoulders and the way she would tuck the loose strands behind her ears. The perfect way she lipped the words of the newspaper. The noise of the coffee machines and the clanking of plates on tabletops completely faded out and she was the only thing I could sense. I knew in that moment of that second that I could love that girl for the rest of my life.
1- Disillusionment of world: the most general and universal accomplishment of rationalization is disillusionment of world. After the disillusionment work is done, we must seek a new meaning for life. So Weber sought the understanding of sciences as the potential factor that gives meaning to life. Because of the rationalization dominance, all of the human goals have lost their meaning and in the current situation, life goals reach the human mind in a new way. The world’s disillusionment that stimulates the search for meaning is a sign of its universal degree. The positive opportunity gained by the help of disillusionment of world is a “thoughtful and reasonable” approval of daily life and its “requirements”.