Role Mother? Role model? Motherhood? The death of a loved one can result in a trauma where the painful experience causes a psychological scar. Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones explores the different ways in which people process grief when they lose a loved one. When young Susie Salmon is killed on her way home from school, the remaining four members of her family all deal differently with their grief. After Susie’s death, her mother, Abigail Salmon, endures the adversity of losing her daughter, her family collapsing, and accepting the loss of the life she never had the opportunity to live. Abigail uses Freud’s defence mechanisms to repress wounds, fears, her guilty desires, and to resolve conflicts, which results in her alienation and separation from her family. When the bond between the mother and a child is broken through the death of the child, it can be unbearable to face, leading the mother to turn to denial in order to cope with her loss. When Abigail hears the news that her daughter Susie is dead, she refuses to believe it, “but when they held up the evidence bag with my hat in it, something broke in her. The fine wall of leaden crystal that had protected her heart […] shattered” (Sebold). Sebold presents the story narrated from the omniscient first person point of view of Susie, who has been murdered; the hat belongs to Susie, making the death real to Abigail though she does not want to believe it. She denies the event and would prefer not to talk about it with anyone, even her husband. This starts to distance Abigail from her husband, marking the beginning of her alienation, which has resulted from Freud’s defence mechanism of avoidance and denial. This situation proves that “denial can temporarily be useful in helpin... ... middle of paper ... ... and deal with their unhappiness. Over the course of the novel, Abigail grieves several things: the loss of her daughter, the collapse of her family, and the loss of the life she never had the opportunity to live. She turns to Freud’s defence mechanisms as methods of enduring the agony that she faces, which subsequently lead to her alienation. The defences become a habit for Abigail, and she is portrayed as a selfish person during her affair with the detective investigating Susie’s death, and later on when she decides to leave her family for eight years to take care of her. In the end, she recognizes her faults and her mistakes and moves back home to amend her neglect for her family. Abigail is able to let go of Susie and let go of the childish desires that caused her to walk away, confronting the negative results of her dependence upon Freud’s defence mechanism.
Susanna recalls her suicide attempt: “I wanted to get rid of a certain aspect of my character. I was performing a kind of self-abortion of my character… but i had no heart to try it again” (Kaysen 39). Although Susanna’s action is viewed by some critics as alarming, it was a learning experience for her, and she moved on. Furthermore, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs emphasizes the idea of undergoing drastic measures in order for results to be evident. Also, self-actualization stresses the need for personal growth that spans a person’s lifetime (McLeod). Susanna’s drastic actions allow her to realize her need for self-evaluation and understanding her actions. Susanna explains that “scar tissue has no character... It doesn’t show age or illness... It shields and disguises what’s beneath. That’s why we grow it, we have something to hide” (Kaysen 16). Seeing Polly’s scar tissue, Susanna acknowledges the motives behind the creation of the form of skin, and thus, her understanding brings her closer to identifying her motives and what she seeks to gain from her actions. Susanna explains what goes into one’s detachment from life: “... practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying” (Kaysen 36). Susanna acknowledges preparing for suicide, however, she realizes after
“Well, Alice, my father said, if it had to happen to one of you, I’m glad it was you and not your sister” (57). Even though Alice was the victim of the horrid crime, she had to stabilize her own emotions, so that she could help her sister cope with this tragedy. Throughout Alice’s childhood, Jane struggled with alcoholism and panic attacks. “I wished my mother were normal, like other moms, smiling and caring, seemingly, only for her family” (37).
Death: the action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of the life of a person or organism. It is scientific. Straight down to the facts. Something is born, it lives, and it dies. The cycle never stops. But what toll does death take on those around it? The literary world constantly attempts to answer this vital question. Characters from a wide realm of novels experience the loss of a loved one, and as they move on, grief affects their every step. In The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold, the roles of Lindsey, Abigail, and Ruth all exhibit the effect of dealing with death over time; the result is a sizable amount of change which benefits a person’s spirit.
Her ability to lie, her outspokenness and developing sexuality, is unlawful against the Puritan views and deemed as evil. If convicted of the acts she has committed, including her apparent interaction with the Devil, she would face severe consequences. But to avoid this, Abigail realizes that through deceiving innocence she can control and manipulate murderous acts to save herself and her reputation. This was a new opportunity for her to expand her rule over the town. Controlling the young girls around her, Abigail uses her newfound sense of power to manipulate the group in fear. Driving them to aid her accusations, she uses them in the court to prove her claims. Abigail quickly strikes fear into the girls when she begins to hit and threaten the girls screaming, “And mark this. Let either of you breathe a word, or the edge of a word, about the other things, and I will come to you in the black of some terrible night and I will bring you a pointy reckoning that will shudder you” (Miller 19). By threatening the girls, Abigail easily frightens them enough to do her bidding. Using fear to her advantage is evil and this act of manipulation only furthers her antagonism. Abigail now has the ability to use facades and delusion with the loyalty of the other girls, to convince the people that it is not her conjuring spirits, but others in the town attacking
Jack Salmon, Susie’s father, is most vocal about his sorrow for losing his daughter. However, his initial reaction was much different. Upon hearing that Susie’s ski hat had been found, he immediately retreats upstairs because “he [is] too devastated to reach out to [Abigail] sitting on the carpet…he could not let [her] see him” (Sebold 32). Jack retreats initially because he did not know what to do or say to console his family and he did not want them to see him upset. This first reaction, although it is small, is the first indicator of the marital problems to come. After recovering from the initial shock, Jack decides that he must bring justice for his daughter’s sake and allows this goal to completely engulf his life. He is both an intuitive and instrumental griever, experiencing outbursts of uncontrolled emotions then channeling that emotion into capturing the killer. He focuses his efforts in such an e...
Abigail Day is an older member of the Willow Springs' community, sister to Miranda, and grandmother to Cocoa. Instead of embracing the pain Abigail experienced through out her life and turning it into something positive for herself and others, she tried to change the past, and that only left her with more pain. Abigail was the middle child of three sisters. When Peace her younger sister fell in a well, their father and mother became distant with each other and in the end her mother threw herself off a cliff because she could not deal with the pain. When talking about her mother Miranda says, “Mother hardly cooked at all. And later she didn’t eat much. Later she didn’t do nothing but sit in that rocker… Too much sorrow…much too much. And I was too young to give [her] peace. Even Abigail tried and failed”(243). When Abigail was younger her father carved wood and “Abigail, [tried] to form with flesh what her daddy couldn’t form from wood”(262). Her whole childhood was spent trying to make up for her sister’s death.
Through an intimate maternal bond, Michaels mother experiences the consequences of Michaels decisions, weakening her to a debilitating state of grief. “Once he belonged to me”; “He was ours,” the repetition of these inclusive statements indicates her fulfilment from protecting her son and inability to find value in life without him. Through the cyclical narrative structure, it is evident that the loss and grief felt by the mother is continual and indeterminable. Dawson reveals death can bring out weakness and anger in self and with others. The use of words with negative connotations towards the end of the story, “Lonely,” “cold,” “dead,” enforce the mother’s grief and regressing nature. Thus, people who find contentment through others, cannot find fulfilment without the presence of that individual.
In a world surrounded by war, death, and atrocity, it sometimes seems as if there is nowhere positive for the characters in the Gates of Ivory by Margaret Drabble to turn. In the mist of these bad images Drabble juxtaposes a unique view into the world of women’s reproduction and menstruation that has rarely been revealed in other novels. She shows that menstruation exposes feelings ranging from liberation and empowerment in Alix Bowen, to shame, disgust and sorrow in Mme. Savet Akrun. Drabble identifies similarities between women on both sides of the world, and between reproduction and women combating the death of the world’s war. Yet throughout these hard times and uncertainties, the women in the novel show their strength and power because they hold the key to keeping mankind alive: reproduction.
The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science Tells Us about Life after Loss, written by George A. Bonanno, illustrates the ways in which different people deal with loss in different ways and even so, most of us are resilient to loss. Death is an inevitable phase every person must face. Throughout one’s life, everybody is destined to confront the pain of death in his or her lifetime. But how do we cope? Is there a “correct” or “normal” way, or length of time we are supposed to use, to recover after a major loss? Bonanno delves into the ways in which we deal with grief and loss that are contrary to what people generally presume. We may be surprised, even hurt, by a loss, but we still manage to pull ourselves back together and move on. One of the recurring arguments made in The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science Tells Us about Life after Loss is that resilience after loss is real, prevailing, and enduring. Bonanno is able to provide much compelling evidence to show the different patterns or trajectories of grief reactions across time shown by bereaved people. He also explains thoroughly how grief is not work by elucidating the ways emotions work to help us deal with demanding environments. Bonanno is successful in allowing the readers to be conscious of what people are grieving after a major loss – they don’t grieve facts, they grieve what they remember. In addition, Bonanno explains how death elicits both terror and curiosity to help his readers conceptualize death. Bonanno essentially articulates that resilience is both genuine and lasting because it is in our human capacity to thrive in the face of adversity.
First of all, ‘The Lovely Bones’ is about a girl named Susie Salmon and tells a story of how she died and how people get along together and live without her. She was a normal fourteen-year-old girl when she was murdered in the novel 's opening pages. She narrates the rest of her story from heaven, often returning to Earth to watch over her loved ones; mostly family, some friends and Mr. Harvey and the other people he kills. ‘Lovely Bones’ is represents Susie’s body the connection of heaven to earth, earth to heaven. This is main symbolism of this book as Susie. ‘She began to see things without her and the events that her death will influence her in heaven and her family and friends in earth.’ In this passage, the author talks about her life
Abigail runs away with Paris’s money and does not seem to face the consequences of lying, scheming, adultering, or any of the sins she’s committed. " Abby, I may think softly of you from time to time, but I will cut off my hand before I reach for you again. How Abigail deals with this is by becoming manipulative and spiteful, trying to take control of things that aren’t hers. The “Damned Woman” by Elizabeth Reis is the book that I read to support my thesis further.
Overcoming the grief that is felt after losing a loved one is a physically and mentally agonizing task. According to Dr. Christina Hibbert, a clinical psychologist who graduated from the California School of Professional Psychology, three main stages of grief include anger, depression and acceptance. Each one of these emotions can be seen in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet and The Descendants (2011, Payne) as the artists explore the effects of grief and the different emotional responses that one can have due to the loss of a loved one. Additionally, in Ismail Kadare’s Broken April, the Berisha family feels the sufferance that is associated with unexpected death, as well as the various temperamental reactions that one will have after losing a loved one. Each of these works of art represent a powerful example of the stages that one will go through after feeling the intense sorrow that is connected with death, as well as the unavoidable effects of grief.
In addition, Jack showed his inability to let go of Susie by keeping her physical belongings with him. From heaven, Susie is watching all of this happen, noting that “I knew then he would never give me up. He would never count me as one of the dead. I was his daughter, and he was my dad, and he had loved me as much as he could. I had to let him go” (...). The final sentence is very significant. It is the time when Susie recognizes the need for her to let go if she truly wishes to end her family’s suffering. As Susie is able to forget the past, so does Jack. He soon realizes that Susie lives in his past, memories, and not in objects. Specifically, it is not until Jack survives his heart attack that he fully accepts that his daughter has left. “Last night it had been [Susie’s] father who had finally said it, ‘[Susie’s]never coming home.’ A clear and easy piece of truth that everyone who had ever known me had accepted” (289). Upon realizing this truth, Jack is able to continue with his life, job, and most importantly, to refocus his attention to his two other
She continues in this sequel to talk about the abuse she faced and the dysfunction that surrounded her life as a child and as a teen, and the ‘empty space’ in which she lived in as a result. She talks about the multiple personalities she was exhibiting, the rebellious “Willie” and the kind “Carol”; as well as hearing noises and her sensory problems. In this book, the author puts more emphasis on the “consciousness” and “awareness” and how important that was for her therapeutic process. She could not just be on “auto-pilot” and act normal; the road to recovery was filled with self-awareness and the need to process all the pieces of the puzzle—often with the guidance and assistance of her therapist. She had a need to analyze the abstract concept of emotions as well as feelings and thoughts. Connecting with others who go through what she did was also integral to her
Her family life is depicted with contradictions of order and chaos, love and animosity, conventionality and avant-garde. Although the underlying story of her father’s dark secret was troubling, it lends itself to a better understanding of the family dynamics and what was normal for her family. The author doesn’t seem to suggest that her father’s behavior was acceptable or even tolerable. However, the ending of this excerpt leaves the reader with an undeniable sense that the author felt a connection to her father even if it wasn’t one that was desirable. This is best understood with her reaction to his suicide when she states, “But his absence resonated retroactively, echoing back through all the time I knew him. Maybe it was the converse of the way amputees feel pain in a missing limb.” (pg. 399)