Jesus Christ is Perfect Love

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I fondly remember my first experience of prayer. I was four years old, in my Holly Hobby bed, getting ready to go to sleep for the night. My mother had read to me a bedtime story, as usual, but this night she decided to teach me the “Our Father” as well. As we prayed together, I felt a deep fascination inside. It was as if my mother had given me a new gift far better than any toy. I laughed with joy as she said the word “trespasses.” I loved the sound of that word. I thought it was the funniest word I had ever heard. The laughing subsided until, in the very next sentence, I heard “trespasses” again. My laugh was contagious. My mother could not continue until we were both spent from laughing. As she finished the prayer with the word “evil” I remember a very serious tone overshadowing me. I did not feel fear, but I was sobered. I went to sleep thinking about how good this God was who would protect me from all evil.

I was the oldest child in the family, and the only child at this time. We spent each day together, just Mom and I. As we made our beds each morning, Mom would sing the song from the Disney production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, “Just Whistle While You Work”. After our morning chores, we would take a “coffee break.“ Mom would have her coffee. I would drink my milk warmed up, with a little coffee added to it, just enough to make it a creamy brown color. As the day went on, we did laundry and planned our grocery lists. We baked and shopped together. I had an abundance of craft items to cut, paste, or draw anything I could ever imagine. I would sit on my own little tablecloth in the midst of piles of dirty laundry on wash day and create every craft idea I could imagine.

My mother was tr...

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...ano my entire adult life. Now, the music in life had returned. I had disowned a vast amount of my true self while striving to be nothing like my mother.

I opened myself up to fully trusting another person, thereby learning to love as God intended me to love. My marriage healed significantly. I no longer allowed my perfectionist nature to cripple me, or discourage my husband. I developed a new motto, "Give praise to God and do it imperfectly."

Although the intense closeness I experienced on my private retreat with my Lord has faded away, I realize that it is my job to just keep my lantern lit. Occasionally, fear or self-pity seems to creep it's unsightly face into my life. So, I wait in joyful hope for I know that my Lord will return to me again someday. "Perfect love casts out all fear." Jesus Christ was, is, and always will be my Perfect Love.

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