“It’s a bad day if I don’t talk to my mom at least 10 times – she’s my backbone,” says 20-year-old Katie, a junior in college in Gainesville, Florida (Khidekel). Unfortunately, this type of codependency is extremely common in young adults who have helicopter parents. Helicopter parenting, also known as over-parenting, is when parents constantly “hover” over their children by invading their privacy and not letting them solve their own problems. Helicopter parents are especially involved in their child’s school work, often times doing most of the work for their children and disputing grades with teachers, even as their children move on to college. Beginning to become more common in the ‘60s and ‘70s, helicopter parenting is a result of adults having fewer children, marrying and reproducing later in life, and both parents working long hours. New technology has also stimulated the growth in the number of helicopter parents by making it easier for parents to track their children and check to see who they have been talking to and what they have been doing. Today, over 90% of school counsellors and psychologists are seeing overly attached parents in their schools (Marriner). Although some children do not mind and in fact welcome and encourage their overly attached parents, helicopter parenting can lead to several major devastating consequences. While most helicopter parents believe they are doing what is best for their child, they actually tend to do more harm than good by causing damaging psychological effects on children, hindering their child’s mental growth, and even placing unnecessary stress on their own lives.
One of the major and most dangerous effects of a child having one or more helicopter parent are the psychological conseq...
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...y communication will improve. Another positive aspect of parents letting children make their own decisions is that children tend to be happier, self-sufficient, and much more confident than those that grow up with helicopter parents.
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While her argument is strong in bringing valuable date of college students into place, there is no specific statistic on how many parents hover over their children; in fact, there might not be any way to measure how many parents are “helicopter parents.” There is a spectrum in Sociology that ranges from being permissive, authoritative, or authoritarian. A permissive parent is defined as being “nondemanding and noncontrolling” (University of New Hampshire). An authoritative is defined as being both “demanding and controlling, but they are also warm and receptive to their children’s needs.” while an authoritarian is considered to be “demanding and highly controlling, but detached and unreceptive to their children’s needs” (UNH). From Lythcott-Haims’ discussion about the girl having her father control her life including her major in economics, her father would probably be described as an authoritarian parent with him not letting her make her decisions. Even though this spectrum may bring a better idea on what kinds of parents are, it still doesn’t show numbers on how many parents fall into each category and that may because of how difficult it would be to fall into one parent style when it’s possible to fall in the middle of certain categories. Because of this, the number of helicopter parents might not be
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In the article, “A Mother’s Day Kiss-Off,” Leslie Bennetts expresses her malcontentedness with corporate culture’s hostility toward mothers and care taking needs (42). Bennetts uses facts, figures, and even a testimony to shed light on the average mother’s modern dilemma. She attempts to show the unjust treatment of mothers by several different outside forces. In the article, “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.,” Hope Edelman vents her frustration at the mother’s inability to deny the role of the prominent parent (51). She uses her own personal experience to show just how ingrained societal standards are into the public. Her article goes through her own descension into the average wife, sacrificing her own career
Helicopter parenting is a phenomenon that has taken the United States by storm! This style of parenting raises children to be dependent on their parents well into their mature years. Julia Lynthcott- Haims explains the four main factors that are responsible for this shift in parenting and childhood in the excerpt “The Four Cultural Shifts that Led to the Rise of the Helicopter Parent” in her book How to Raise an Adult. The “shifts” Haims proposes are juxtaposed with examples of how parenting has evolved to convey how the childrearing has transformed. The author attributes the helicopter phenomenon to four events that began in 1980s: child abductions becoming publicized, the idea that children were not doing enough schoolwork,
Some of the greatest milestones in life are graduating from college and getting a first job. However, no matter how challenging those activities are, many people believe the hardest job in life is being a parent and bringing up children. While child rearing is difficult, many also believe it is the most wonderful thing in their life also. Child rearing also has us question ourselves: "Am I raising them correctly?" "Should it be this stressful?" "Should I raise my child like my parents raised me?" "Should I ignore parenting advice I receive?" Diana Baumrind, a clinical and development psychologist, researched parenting styles. Her research can help answer many of these questions as well as define authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting, and the pros and cons of each style.
A child's independence, a quality which can determine their success, falls into the hands of their parents. Over-parenting, also known as too much parental involvement is a controversial topic. Many people ask the question of whether or not it can hinder a child's independence. However, it can be argued that it does not. Children with actively involved parents benefit greatly from higher life satisfaction, emotional stability, and protection from the dangers of society.
There are many approaches to parenting and everyone has their own preferences as to what they think is best. In a fast paced rush around society, it is hard to know what the best choices are for your children. There is a struggle to balance what needs to be done with what can be done, and this has negative and positive feedback on the children. Parents play a critical role in shaping and guiding their children into functional confident adults. An effective parent will learn as they teach in order to grow into understanding with their children.
Rosen, Christine. "The Parents Who Don't Want To Be Adults." Commentary 127.7 (2009): 31. MAS Ultra - School Edition. Web. 13 Dec. 2013.
Successful parenting may be judged by many different standards. Raising a child to be a respectful, mature, and independent adult requires a great deal of effort. There are several parenting styles, and not all lead a child to reaching their full potential. Overpowering sternness leads may lead to a rebellious child, while passive parenting may lead children to inept for the challenges of adulthood. Parenting requires more than teaching children submissiveness, or building of self-importance. Children learn best from a role model who is admirable. Parenting is a great opportunity to set the course of one’s entire life in the right direction.
“The logic of intensive mothering, particularly as it applies to middle- and upper-middle-class mothers, therefore seems to be the greatest barrier to solving the problems detailed in this book….Nearly all mothers, for instance, feel they ought to be at home with their children, ought to want to be at home with their children, and ought to be their children’s primary parent.” Pg. 201 This quote from Untangling the Mother-Nanny Knot emphasizes on the fact that these working mothers need to let go a of that temperament that they must keep the nanny, their spouse and anyone else away from their child at any cost. Because they are not able to be there for their kids they can rest their mind knowing that the person with their child when they are not present is someone that will love them and care for them no matter what, and all the working mother must do is let go just a
Most parents take an interest in their child’s life from birth until they become an adult by picking and choosing what is best for them as much as they possibly can. Parents want to help their children to be as perfect as they can make them. Typically hovering parents spend a lot of money, time, and effort filling schedules things like with dance classes, baseball, and tutoring in order to have a ‘perfect’ child. As well as coming to their aid when they are in need, or their defense when they are in trouble. Help in making important, life changing decisions, like where to go to college at, or which career to pursue. When does helping become hovering? The generation of “Helicopter Parents” is becoming more and more prevalent in families. A helicopter parent is a guardian who is hanging over the head of their college-age son or daughter. Helicopter parents typically do whatever necessary to lead their child to success. This controversy has many suggesting it is actually making a positive impact in the next generation, some think not. I question if the next generation of young people will be able to think for themselves? If so, will the decisions they must make in life be adult decisions? Hovering parents are hurting society more than helping it because the next generation is not learning how to be responsible for their actions and make their own choices.