Gender Identity

Gender means to me the collected notions of being that is ascribed to our physical sex identity. For me, gender is closely related to the physical gender of the individual. In fact, the identity that comes from being a specific gender is one that serves to provide meaning for the individual in everyday life. Being a man means that I exist in a position of privilege and preference simply because of my gender identity and my collusion with that identity. Specifically, being a man means to me that I do not need to be afraid of walking alone at night, I should be able to open jars on my own, and that I do not need to rely on others for help in most situations. I compete with other males in our society to assert my male-ness by being self sufficient, prepared and able to assume responsibility. These are not exclusive statements, as I do not believe that by adhering to these principles that it means that as a woman I would not.

However, I see that in my life I follow the path of least resistance, and internally accept the patriarchal responsibilities and roles that patriarchy creates for men. I see the ridiculousness of the system that defines me as a man also condemning womanhood, and realize that I want to be able to rely on, depend on and be in mutually beneficial relationships with women while still trying to affirm my gender identity as a man as defined by patriarchy. I realize that defining myself as a man means that I have internalized the norms of patriarchy including the feeling of the necessity of autonomy and independence, yet I feel the pull of healthy relationships and friendships with the opposite gender. My definition of being a man is also tied in with the reaction to this contradiction, and my response to i...

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...l system, including school, church, youth group and family. I was taught to be in control, to carve out for myself a identity based on the approval of the larger group, and to seek first the approval of the general populous in whatever group I am a part of.

In conclusion, my gender identity is completely a product of the “path of least resistance” idea. I have existed for the better part of my life simply following the trends and norms that surround me. This has resulted in my relative inability to describe my gender identity beyond the stereotypes and norms that society forces on us all, such as dominance, assertiveness, and the need to control my surroundings and situation. However, through the studies I am doing throughout this course, as well as the studies involved with the Sociology major, I am becoming more and more an agent of resistance and change.