For The Birds

914 Words2 Pages

I had done it again, except this time I laughed. It had happened a few times before, but there was just a different feeling surrounding it. Like I was creating some sort of plot against it now. Pulling out the big guns, you might say. Last year I spotted it and I don’t know why it strikes fear into me, but it just does: the bird’s nest. Nestled in a corner under my deck, there it sat. Frayed pieces of straw poking out like arrows announcing I’m here, sucka, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That summer that mother bird roosting on its nest gave me the dirtiest looks a bird can muster and made me uncomfortable in my own backyard. Opening the door to the yard, I would slowly peer around the side to her corner, like a thief, and upon spotting her beady eyes staring back at me, I’d cautiously tiptoe into the yard, always feeling like I was in a stick-up and she was the one with the gun. She was a robin and, as far as I knew, robins weren’t known for swooping. Needless to say, it was a tense summer for gardening. I had to work around her schedule, keeping watch when she had left the nest, carefully working in the garden and keeping my eyes peeled for the guards on watch on the fence. I couldn’t take any chances. She was a force that I didn’t care to reckon with.

The babies came and then flew away, and mom took their lead, leaving behind one rancid, well-used nest. My dear husband, the saint he is, having heard enough of my complaints over the weeks, was more than happy to remove the emptied nest to sooth my frazzled nerves. At that point, I made a vow to keep my patch of grass free of nests.

The spring of 2010 came around and I was prepared. I had anchored a rock-laden pot where the robin’s nest stood the year before. Take...

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...’s SO on! So I fired away at what he had just dropped, turned off the water, went back into my house, and did a short, yet enjoyable, victory dance.

Taking a look at my spoils from the window, I lathered in the moment. Mother Nature had nothing on me; I was in the control, or so I thought, until I spotted that same flea-bitten bird on the beam again. Pecking on my glass window, I tried scaring it away. It looked in my direction and didn’t flinch. So I raised the blind and yelled (yes, yelled), “IT’S WAR NOW!” He flew to the fence and, I’m sure, off to find more material to build with. And then it hit me: I had just yelled something threatening at a bird. Let me rephrase that, I had reached into my arsenal of one-liners learned from bad stand-up comics and hurled it at a six-inch tall bird that was just trying to make a better life for its family. The bird won.

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