Forgiveness is described as a conscious and deliberate decision to let go of feelings of bitterness or revenge towards oneself or a person who has caused harm. Understanding the past can help see behind the pain and suffering and lead to forgiving and accepting oneself. In Sue Monk Kidd’s novel The Secret Life of Bees, Lily learns that forgiving others expedites the process of self-healing. By forgiving herself, Lily is able to recognize the guilt, hatred and pain she placed upon herself and put it behind her. In doing so, she made it possible to move on with her life and accept love from others. Lily’s understanding of her mother’s past helps her to forgive both herself and her mother for their actions. Since the death of her mother, Lily developed a complicated attitude towards her, sometimes ranging from admiration to hatred to forgiveness. Lily always saw her mother as the loving kind until one day when August explained her relationship with Deborah, …show more content…
When Lily sees the strand of her mother’s hair she stares at it and has a revelation that she is looking at a “genuine part of her body.” (273) . It is at that point where Lily realizes that she starts moving towards forgiveness in terms of her own act and her mother’s act of abandoning her. When Lily says, “I knew then that no matter how you tried, no matter how many jars of honey you threw, no matter how much you thought you could leave your mother behind, she would never disappear from the tender places in you.” It illustrates the fact that she is starting to forgive herself for what she has done. In doing so, it allows her to see that no matter how angry she may seem with her mother, she realizes that she cannot simply forget about her. Because Lily is starting to forgive herself for what she did, she realizes that there will always be a soft spot in her heart and her memories for her
T.Ray, her father, has a very large lack of sensitivity towards Lily in regard to this event in their life. “The truth is, your sorry mother ran off and left you. The day she died, she'd comeback to get her things, that's all. You can hate me all you want, but she’s the one who left you." (Kidd, 39). After an argument between Lily and her father, he tells her that Deborah left her. He also makes fun of her attempts to improve her knowledge by reading books. “Who do you think you are, Julius Shakespeare?” (Kidd, 16). Events continue to occur where T.Ray proves he’s not a good fit for a father position in her life, and they eventually lead her to build a hatred for him, which will lead her on her journey to discovering more about her mother. “When T. Ray gives Lily a hard time about bird droppings on the floor, Lily realizes Rosaleen must lover her ‘beyond reason’ when she stands up to T.Ray and defends Lily’s pet.” (Hebert, 14). Rosaleen is a black woman who cares for the Owen’s household; she is the first character that acts as Lily’s mother figure. “At the beginning of the novel Lily perceives Rosaleen as a protector – someone who is willing to create a safer environment – something Lily desperately needs for her emotional growth.” (Herbert, 14). Rosaleen is portrayed as Lily’s defender against T.Ray. Rosaleen is the first mother figure to enter the story
As strong, independent, self-driven individuals, it is not surprising that Chris McCandless and Lily Owens constantly clashed with their parents. In Jon Krakauer’s novel, Into the Wild, Chris was a twenty-four-year-old man that decided to escape the materialistic world of his time for a life based on the simplistic beauty of nature. He graduated at the top of his class at Emory University and grew up in affluent Annandale, Virginia, during the early 1980’s. In The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, Lily was a fourteen-year-old girl who grew up in the 1960’s, a time when racial equality was a struggle. She had an intense desire to learn about her deceased mother. Her nanny, Rosaleen, with whom she grew very close over the years, raised Lily with little help from her abusive father. When her father failed to help Rosaleen after three white men hospitalized her, Lily was hysterical. Later, Lily decided to break Rosaleen out of the hospital and leave town for good. While there are differences between Chris McCandless and Lily Owens, they share striking similarities. Chris McCandless’ and Lily Owens’s inconsistencies of forgiveness with their parents resulted in damaged relationships and an escape into the unknown.
The Art of Forgiveness Most runaway youth are homeless because of neglect, abuse and violence, not because of choice. Lily Owens is the protagonist in the novel, Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk. Kidd, is no different. Lily is a fourteen year old girl still grieving over her mother's death. T. Ray, a man who has never been able to live up to the title of a father, due to years of abuse, has not made it any easier.
For example, T. Ray punishes Lily by making her kneel on grits and verbally abuses her. Lily resents T. Ray for his brutality and gains the desire to flee her birth home. This shows that Lily desires more than just a physical house to live in, but also loving parental figures who can help guide her in life and show her love. This quest for acceptance led her to meet the Calendar Sisters.
I really was impacted by T. Ray’s quote during the height of the tension about Lily’s past mistakes, “ ‘It was you who did it, Lily. You didn’t mean it, but it was you’ ” (Kidd 299). This moment was one of my favorites because it showed the growth the lead character had made toward not only forgiving her mother, but forgiving herself. When Lily chases after her father to finally get the raw truth about the fateful day her mom died, it reveals that she is finally ready to come to terms with her past, no matter what really happened. At the beginning of the book, she can’t accept her mother’s death, her disappearance, and her lack of love from her parents. Coincidentally, she grasps at any excuse to punish herself because she is unsure of who she is.
When someone hears the word quest, their mind automatically goes to a mythical land of dragons and knights in shining armor. However, Thomas Foster’s book How to Read Literature Like a Professor states that this shouldn’t always be the case. In Chapter One: Every Trip Is a Quest, Foster claims that a quest in literature can take place in any time period and can be as mundane as grocery shopping. In order to classify an event as quest, it needs to follow certain criteria. There needs to be “a quester, a place to go, a stated reason to go there, challenges and trials en route, and a real reason to go there” (Foster, 3). Furthermore, considering the definition of a quest by Thomas Foster, it is clear that the novel, The Secret Life of Bees, fits
Intro: Working around the hives; dedicated and faster with each movement. Honey drizzling in golden crevices; a family unit working together, buzzing in harmony. Bees and beehives is a significant motif in the novel Secret Life of Bees: By Sue Monk Kidd because it represents the community of women in the novel. It also represents Lily Owen’s longing and need for a mother figure in her life. And finally, it was significant because the bees lived a secret life, just as Lily and Rosaleen did in the novel.
Lily’s emotions also fluster after perceiving the statue of the Black Mary. “I didn’t know what to think, but what I felt was magnetic and so big it ached like the moon had entered my chest and filled it up….Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That’s what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and shame at the same time,” (Kidd 70-71). Lily is skeptical of how to react in the presence of the Black Mary which proves she still has yet to unravel her sincere feelings towards the Black Mary.
I wake up to wonder everyday.” ( Monk Kidd 300). This shows just how little love and affection Lily has experienced from her father and why didn’t just want but rather needed to find a mother, even if it wasn’t her real mother. Even though she found that love she had always want, it didn’t hurt any less to not have her
They represent Lily's only connection to her deceased mother, besides her blurred memories. At one point in the novel, when Lily is talking to August, August hands Lily a photograph from the past of Lily and her mother. Lily thinks to herself, "I didn't care about anything on this earth except the way her face was tipped toward mine, our noses just touching, how wide and gorgeous her smile was, like sparklers going off (Kidd 275). When Lily sees the image of her mother, she is assured that she was deeply loved. This gives her a sense of peace and relief that she has been longing for. Nevertheless, Lily still continues to struggle with the sadness and guilt of accidentally killing her mother. However, at the end of the novel when Lily is looking at a different photograph of her mother, Lily finally is relieved of the guilt that has burdened her for so long. She thinks, "In the photograph by my bed my mother is perpetually smiling on me. I guess I have forgiven us both, although sometimes in the night my dreams will take me back to the sadness, and I have to wake up and forgive us again" (Kidd 301). Lily is beginning to move on from pain and guilt that has burdened her for so long. Through forgiving herself, Lily is freed from the torment she has held inside of her for as long as she can
The setting in the Secret life of bees helps set the overall structure of the book. As the setting changes, and certain events take place, so does the characters views on life. The most change seen is on Lily, the main character. Her values multiply and her perspective on cultural order shifts from one mind set to another. Although one part of the book’s setting limits the opportunities of the characters; the other part opens those and different opportunities. The setting in The Secret Life of Bees is vitally important because it impacts the main character and the people around her through events that transpire in the book.
August was correct when she said that Lily must be her own mother. Lily will not always have someone to care for her. If this happens she must learn to care for herself. Lily was also relying too much on the statue of Mary. When the statue of Mary was chained up Lily could not go to her for help.
The essay "Forgiveness," written by June Callwood, explores the concept of forgiving and how it influences people's lives for the better. Her work describes many components of forgiveness, such as how difficult it can be to come to terms with, why it is such a crucial part of humanity, and how it affects all people. Her essay aims to prove that forgiveness is the key to living peacefully and explains specific examples of people who have encountered extremely difficult situations in their lives- all of whom found it within themselves to forgive. To clearly portray this message in her writing, Callwood uses several strategies. She includes fear inducing statistics, makes many references to famous events and leaders, and uses a serious convincing tone, all of which are very effective.
As humans, we are entitled to making mistakes in our lives, but by forgiving one free himself from anger. Marianne Williamson wrote this about forgiveness: “ Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” In the book The Glass Castle undergoes many difficult circumstances in which the act of forgiveness is the only way to be at peace with her family, but more importantly herself. But the real question is does she truly forgive them. Jeanette’s ability to constantly forgive her parents enabled her to have a positive attitude because the negativity was released when
Over the course of several months, August guides, teaches, and helps Lily to accept and forgive herself. August once knew Deborah, and she knows that Lily is her daughter, but she does not confront Lily about the issue. Instead, she waits until Lily puts the puzzle pieces together and discovers for herself the relationship between her mother and August. August knows she is not ready to learn the truth about her mother when she and Lily first meet, so she waits for Lily to come to her. When Lily finally realizes the truth, she comes to August and they have a long discussion about Deborah. During this discussion, Lily learns the truth about her mother; that her mother only married T. Ray because she was pregnant with Lily, then after several years she had enough of living and dealing with T. Ray, so she left. Lily is disgusted by the fact that her mother would've done something like this, she did not want to let go of the romantic image of her mother she had painted in her mind (“‘The Secret Life of Bees’ Themes and Symbols of The Secret Life of Bees). Lily struggles to stomach the fact the her mother truly did leave her and she spends some time feeling hurt and angry, but one day, August shows her a picture of Lily and her mother. As Lily looks at the picture she is comforted and thinks, “May must’ve made it to heaven and explained to my mother about the sign I wanted. The one that would let me know I was loved” (Kidd 276). Seeing