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Challenges Single Parent Experience In Parenting
Parental influence on child development
Challenges Single Parent Experience In Parenting
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Big Daddy is a 1999 American comedy film that revolves around Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler), a 30-year-old layabout who does not take his responsibilities as an adult seriously. Though he graduated with a degree in law, Sonny works as a tollbooth collector and mostly relies on the $200,000 he received after winning a lawsuit from a car accident. All is well until Sonny’s girlfriend, Vanessa (Kristy Swanson), gets fed up with Sonny’s attitude. She then tells Sonny she will end their relationship unless he can prove that he can be a responsible adult. Just after, a 5-year-old boy, Julian (Cole Sprouse/Dylan Sprouse), showed up at their Manhattan loft claiming to be Kevin’s (Jon Stewart), Sonny’s roommate and best friend from law school, biological son. Kevin denies, …show more content…
and Sonny offers to fix things until he returns from his trip. This gave Sonny an opportunity to prove to Vanessa that he can be a responsible adult. However the plan did not work as expected, Sonny later on finds out that Vanessa has replaced him with a mature and career-oriented man, Sid (Geoffrey Horne). Left with no choice, Sonny had to take responsibility for Julian and temporarily acts as the father figure. Sonny Koufax, as mentioned, is portrayed as a lazy 30-year-old, who is avoiding his responsibilities as an adult and unlikely becomes the father figure of Julian.
He took a big responsibility of taking care of Julian without thinking it through. As the movie progresses, it showed the transformation of Sonny, from a slacker to a responsible adult. However, the film failed to portray what parental authority is, which refers to the rights and duties of the parents toward their …show more content…
children. There are quite a number of instances that showed lack of parental authority. Children like Julian tend to imitate any adult, most especially their parents. Hence, this can have/has a bad effect since Julian will likely to imitate this behavior of Sonny. In the beginning of the film, Sonny took Julian at Central Park to watch people skate. As a prank, he placed a piece of wood on the floor so that the skaters would trip and fall. Julian in the latter part of the film copied what Sonny did. Throughout the film, Sonny talks inappropriately and often loses his temper in front of Julian. One scene in particular is when McDonalds refuses to serve them breakfast, Sonny, out of anger, throws another customer’s food on the floor. He, as the father figure, also failed to teach Julian proper manners. According to Karen Stephens, parents play a major and an important role in how a child turns out. Being a father figure, he too becomes a role model to Julian. In one of the scenes from the film, Sonny lets Julian pee at public places. First was when the waiter refused to allow Julian to pee at the restaurant; the two then peed at the restaurant’s side door. Second is when Julian pees at the side of restaurant and two old ladies were looking at them, instead of saying sorry for being inappropriate, Sonny sarcastically jokes about it. Lastly, when Julian hits Sonny’s friend from law school, instead of correcting Julian, Sonny even cheered him on. These gave Julian an impression that it is okay to do such thing. In fact, it also gave him an idea that seeing people get hurt is humorous. Instead of teaching Julian how to act properly, Sonny failed to set a good example. In the scene when Sonny and Julian were hanging out with his friends from law school, his friends asked him about his method of parenting. Sonny said that his way of parenting is “like a whole new school of child raising. You give the kid options instead of orders. Let him do the right decisions.” He let’s Julian decide for himself. With that, he allows Julian to change his name to “Frankenstein” and to do whatever he wants. This way of parenting was later on criticized by Julian’s teacher. She mentioned that Julian “has been displaying hard behavior” in school, such as tripping a classmate and peeing anywhere. Julian’s misbehavior in school reflects the things he learned from Sonny. In Sonny’s defense, he said that he wanted Julian to express himself in whatever way he thinks would make him happy. Although giving Julian the liberty to decide for himself, there is still a need for Sonny to guide and educate him. Taking in consideration the age of Julian, does not have a coherent grasp of what is right and what is wrong. Julian is still in a critical stage of development, physically and intellectually. For this movie, two respondents from the Focus Group Discussion (FGD) were asked about their perception on how parental authority is portrayed in Big Daddy.
Both respondents claimed that Sonny, as the father figure of Julian, was negatively depicted in the movie. He was portrayed as a permissive “single parent” struggling to raise his “child.” Furthermore, though he was able to learn how to be a good father, his way of parenting is not at par with how parental authority is (Lim, 2015). As mentioned, Julian was given the liberty to do whatever that makes him happy. According to Chris V. (2015), there is nothing wrong with giving a child freedom to choose and decide, but too much freedom and not having proper guidance is
bad. Media usually depict parents either as too abusive with their authority or too lenient; there is no in-between (Lim, 2015). For that, the respondents explained that there should be balance between the authority of the parents and the freedom for a child to decide for oneself. Thus, Big Daddy portrayed a bad example of exercising parental authority. Although Sonny had good intentions in letting Julian decide for himself, his method of doing so is wrong.
The lack of clear authority impacts the establishment of rules, which causes confusion among the subordinate subsystems. For example, Toula describes that until she is married she is expected to work at the family restaurant, this is a rule established by Gus; however, Maria convinces Gus to allow Toula to go to college. This implies who sets of rules from both parental figures. So without a cohesive parental subsystem, the child subsystem is unaware of what is truly expected of
According to Liukkonen, James Baldwin is well known for his "novels on sexual and personal identity, and sharp essays on civil-rights struggle in the United States." "Sonny's Blues" is no exception to this. The story takes place in Harlem, New York in the 1950's and tells of the relationship between two brothers. The older brother, who is the narrator and a participant in the novel, remains unnamed throughout the story. The novel is about the struggles, failures and successes of these two African American brothers growing up in the intercity as a minority. The encounters that the narrator and his brother, Sonny, have throughout the story exemplify Baldwin's theme of personal accountability and ethical criticism.
From the first lines of the story the reader gets the impression that Sonny’s brother tries to block out, ignore the truth about his brother and his troubles. The reaction the character has to the newspaper article about Sonny was: “It was not to be believed and I kept telling myself that” (Baldwin 292). At this stage his relations with the younger brother remind of the way a teacher walks across the playground full of potentially troubled kids “though he or she couldn’t wait to get out of that courtyard, to get those boys out of their sight and off their minds” (Baldwin 293). Having some suspicions concerning Sonny’s ...
The narrator realizes that it was his responsibility to be there for his younger brother for all the years that Sonny needed him, even if it was just to talk or listen. He doesn’t know if Sonny will be able to forgive him, or if too much time has passed to be any forgiveness. Although the narrator is there for his brother now, he could have been an influence to him for his entire life, just as any brother should be.
As "Sonny's Blues" opens, the narrator tells of his discovery that his younger brother has been arrested for selling and using heroin. Both brothers grew up in Harlem, a neighborhood rife with poverty and despair. Though the narrator teaches school in Harlem, he distances himself emotionally from the people who live there and their struggles and is somewhat judgmental and superior. He loves his brother but is distanced from him as well and judgmental of his life and decisions. Though Sonny needs for his brother to understand what he is trying to communicate to him and why he makes the choices he makes, the narrator cannot or will not hear what Sonny is trying to convey. In distancing himself from the pain of upbringing and his surroundings, he has insulated himself from the ability to develop an understanding of his brother's motivations and instead, his disapproval of Sonny's choice to become a musician and his choices regarding the direction of his life in general is apparent. Before her death, his mother spoke with him regarding his responsibilities to Sonny, telling him, "You got to hold on to your brother...and don't let him fall, no matter what it looks like is happening to him and no matter how evil you get with him...you may not be able to stop nothing from happening. But you got to let him know you're there" (87) His unwillingness to really hear and understand what his brother is trying to tell him is an example of a character failing to act in good faith.
The theme of "Sonny's Blues" by James Baldwin focuses on whether a person should be conventional in making decisions for their life, or if they should follow their heart and do what is right for them. A person begins with strengths, many of which they lose along the way. At some point along their heroic journey a person may regain their strengths and develop new ones. Each phase of this journey will have an effect on them and others around them.
Many stories today have similar characteristics. While reading “the Lesson” and “Sonny’s Blues” it is clear that the stories are alike in several ways. I wondered how two separate stories written by two different authors could be so parallel, so I did some research on the authors. While researching I found out that the author of “The Lesson”, Toni Cade Bambara, was born in Harlem just like the main character, Sylvia, in her story. In an interview, Bambara talked about women in her neighborhood that influenced her literature. This is parallel to Miss Moore, a neighbor of Sylvia, who had a big impact on her. Like Bambara, James Baldwin, the author of “Sonny’s Blues”, was born in Harlem. While researching Baldwin, I found out he too grew up in poverty like, the characters in his short story “Sonny’s Blues”. Between the two stories there are many similarities
Sonny’s Blues By James Baldwin Sonny’s Blues the author is presenting the past from the perspective of the present in order to understand his own feelings concerning the role of a father. The two brothers in the story had different life choices. Both Sonny and the narrator have found their own mode of escaping the violence and harshness of the ghetto, different though those modes might be. After the death of the mother the narrator feels he is his brother’s keeper, because of the promise he made to the mother. He is not exactly happy about it and especially Sonny’s life style. Nevertheless, this is his only brother and he made a promise not to turn his back on him. Sonny was more like his uncle a music lover. Before the mother died she told him about his father and the pain he went through after the death of his brother. His father’s brother was a music lover and somewhat like Sonny. So, by telling this story it would help the narrator to understand Sonny. Now he knows a little about his family background and roots. At the end the narrator was finally able to see and understand what music did for Sonny; it allow him to be himself and express himself to other. Explore the implications of the allusion to the Book of Isaiah 51:17-23 in the concluding sentence. What has the narrator learned as the result of his experience? All of the desolation, destruction, famine, sword things that we (the narrator) go through in this life, are learned through other who have shared these same experiences. Our oppressor (Satan spiritually, mankind physically) causes a trembling in our lives; but just like Jerusalem, who was and still is oppressed; God has already taken our “cup of trembling”. We are delivered through the sharing of our experiences with one another, freeing ourselves from one who causes the trembling.
James Baldwin’s short story “Sonny’s Blues” illustrates the inner struggle of breaking the hold of lifestyles unfamiliar to those normally accepted by society. Through the use of common fictitious tools such as plot, characters, conflict, and symbolic irony, Baldwin is able to explore the complex difficulties that challenge one in the acceptance of differences in one another. This essay will attempt to understand these thematic concepts through the use of such devises essential in fiction, as well as to come to an understanding of how the particular elements of fiction assist the author in exploring the conflict.
The main ways free will is limited in these stories are immediate surroundings, one’s emotions, and authority by either a government or even something divine. The main proponents of free will not existing also tie into their stories irrationality and the inclination to follow emotion. Free will can be limited in many ways. Natural human inclinations can lead on to actions not streamlined with logical thinking. One’s place of birth largely define the life on will lead. Those who support free will, however, only give their characters the option of struggling against these outside forces. Sonny’s Blues, for example, has Sonny try to overcome his surroundings and the natural tendency to try that which is forbidden (drugs) with his passions towards
After discovering what has happened to Sonny, the narrator makes it seem as if he does not care and does not want interference in the life he has worked so hard to create. This is proven when the narrator discusses what has happened to Sonny with one of his brother’s friends. As shown through this quote, the narrator is not concerned about what has happened to his brother and believes it is not his responsibili...
Although, he did what he felt was right at the time. During the time of their mother dying, he was a newlywed and was also getting his career together in the army. After their mother’s death, the narrator was soon returning to his station, leaving Sonny stay with his wife, Isabel and her family. Sonny always had dreams of becoming a jazz musician, but because of the era they were in and being the older brother, the narrator wanted better for Sonny. Sonny was stuck on being a jazz musician and wasn’t letting anything stop him. The living arrangements he had with Isabel and her family wore thin,
The role of a father could be a difficult task when raising a son. The ideal relationship between father and son perhaps may be; the father sets the rules and the son obeys them respectfully. However it is quite difficult to balance a healthy relationship between father and son, because of what a father expects from his son. For instance in the narratives, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences” both Willy and Troy are fathers who have a difficult time in earning respect from their sons, and being a role model for them. Between, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences,” both protagonists, Willy and Troy both depict the role of a father in distinctive ways; however, in their struggle, Willy is the more sympathetic of the two.
Struggle, drugs, separation and reunion, that is what James Baldwin illustrates in Sonny’s blues. It is the story between two entirely different brothers as they struggle to discover who each one of them really is. “Sonny’s Blues” is narrated through the nameless older brother through first person with limited omniscience. Point of view is the narrator’s position in relation to the story which is depicted by the attitude toward the characters and Baldwin purposely picks to tell the story in the first person point of view because of the omniscient and realistic effects it contribute to the story overall. The point of view in this
The movie begins with the family and parenting styles concept of child development by introducing the audience to the main character James and his parents. James lives in a two-parent household with his authoritative parents who are providing him with warmth, love, and encouragement (Levine & Munsch, pp. 521-522). This concept of parenting styles is shown as the movie begins and James is seen spending time with his parents. Then suddenly, James’ world changes and he is abandoned as a result of his parents being killed. This causes James to become orphaned and forced to live with his authoritarian aunts, Spiker and Sponge. Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge are very controlling towards James and expect him to obey their rules without allowing him to express his feelings. This authoritarian behavior is seen throughout the movie. Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge are also uninvolved, neglectful, and abusive, using verbal and physical punishment on James when they feel it’s necessary, which is also seen throughout the movie (Levine & Munsch, p. 522). These behaviors cause James to develop lower self-esteem, show less intellectual curiosity, and feel lonely and afraid, which are typical outcomes of an authoritarian parenting approach (Levine & Munsch, pp. 521-523). Although James’ aunts’ authoritative parenting style has an effect on his emotional and social behaviors, it is his parents authoritative parenting that plays a...