Christina Gao
P.2
"No one is as fragile as a woman but no one is as fragile as a man."
Fragility is defined as the quality of being easily broken or damaged. It is usually associated with children and especially women. Throughout the decades, women have been slowly gaining their confidence to show the world that they may not be as soft as society portray them as. Additionally, men have been more expressive about their soft sides. Although they have always been seen as the stronger, less emotional gender, males are in fact much more fragile than women are.
Man has always been portrayed as a no showing emotion macho man. He should not reveal his true emotions because it will overpower his masculinity. Little boys are taught from a young age to “be a man.” In a 2014 documentary, “The Mask You Live In,” Joe Ehrmann,
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His father, an ameture boxer, was Ehrmann’s first educator on manhood. Ehrmann describes how his father taught him that to be a man, one must learn to control and dominate people and situations. When his brother was diagnosed with cancer, Ehrmann stated that he felt like he was no use to the situation. All his life he was taught to “man up” and power through the situations. Ehrmann did not know how to help his brother. Additionally, he had to force himself to become emotional, loving, and nurturing. Man has always been considered less fragile and it is deeply rooted in his upbringings. He is taught that he cannot show his emotions and must be a man, even through the toughest situations. Men like Ehrmann have to force themselves to show emotions, something that should naturally come out of men and women. He is taught that masculinity does not include true emotions. Although he is taught these ways, man is deeply fragile. However, this fragility is covered in a shell of masculinity that society has placed upon
The movie, Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity produced by Jackson Katz and Jeremy Earp, deconstructs the concepts that create the social constructs of masculinity. Masculinity, a set of behaviors, roles, and attributes correlating to men, is earned, not given (Conley 190). Starting from television shows to children’s toys, the idea of masculinity has infiltrated their minds starting at a young age. Moreover, the concept of masculinity has physical attributes, such as muscles, a deep voice, and be able to protect themselves. Masculinity, for boys of any races, socioeconomic classes, or ethnicity, has grown up with the same stereotypical image of what a man should entail. Since many media outlets show that a form of masculinity
As these images become more visible, men are more likely to feel comfortable about the idea of men revealing their emotions. While there is not an equal number of men secure with expressing their emotions as women, there is a much higher instance than in previous
He shows his strength by attaching himself to these things and by keeping himself partly detached from the violence surrounding him. He has the amazing ability to admit to himself that he was just a kid at war, in love. He was twenty-two years old. He couldn't help it" (397). By having the strength to see this reality, he fights against war's power to consume a person's whole identity.
... E Glenn, and Nancy B Sherrod. The psychology of men and masculinity:Research status and future directions. New York: John Wiley and sons, 2001.
The definition of masculinity is constantly evolving around the world, making it no surprise that different time periods had different expectations as to when it is acceptable for men to cry. The 20th century’s image of a stoic, self-restrained man does not match the Bible’s and the Iliad’s references to men weeping and the expectations society has for the modern man is different from both of 20th century and ancient images. Today, politicians can cry in the wake of a tragedy or men can cry during certain films or after the victory of a game. Despite the evolving concept of masculinity, society continues to perpetuate the idea that boys do not cry because society is still teaching young boys that sadness is something only girls feel, and that sadness is replaced eventually by aggression.
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
Being a man, I have to be strong and tough through many situations. We cannot show many of our feelings like woman do because we will be considered weak. When my great grandfather died about four years ago, my sisters and my mother were crying, but my father, my brother and I were expected to stay strong and not cry. Although I wanted to break down, I held it in due to the expectation my family and other people had for me as a man.
If a man possesses the masculinity that society claims he should have, he may still experience many emotional issues within himself. After a man has been taught that domination is the key, they may develop a sense of aggression. Aggression may also follow the fact they men hold all of their feelings into to protect themselves from the schemas. Men have been seen to use violence in their past to solve their issues. In the documentary, one of the prisoners in the group session spoke about how he was in jail because all of his emotions that had been bottled up become uncontrollable in one instance. If a boy or a man does not contain the masculinity expected, he may become bullied and out-casted. The continuation of discrimination toward a boy may cause suicidal thoughts. On top of being bullied for not being a powerful man, he may still be trying to hold in his emotions to prove that he
Yet a closer look at science, medicine, and cultural activities been shown that the engine for the purposes of our inequality might be the long-held ideal of masculinity itself”, the authors clarify. Although we, as a society, often tend to blame genetics, it has been proven that they are not the only cause for short lifespans. Warraich and Califf later add, “This traditional position of male identity comes with serious health consequences” such as smoking, drinking, and mental issues that lead to health problems, or even suicide. The authors explain why it may lead to suicide by claiming, “the internalization of a male identity in which seeking help is seen as a sign of weakness begins in childhood and becomes particularly intense during adolescence.” In short, men from young age are being taught to ‘not be weak’ and ask for help, which later ‘puts men into small boxes’ as they grow older.
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. In this article the author claims that the men are insensitive because they have had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The author defines his claim by analyzing the process of boys growing into a man with the focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. The author describes these lessons with the code of conduct imposed upon boys, for example “never admitting fear”. He explains these codes with several instances and by including his own example to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, he intends to explain why men seem so insensitive to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” or “uncommunicative”.
Men feel pressure to fit in the category of what society describes as a man. They have the responsibility to be first in everything. Showing emotions should not be a part of men life. Men need to focus on their role to be the strong sex. Crying its weakness and its only meant for women. The other day I overheard my daughter’s grandmother asking her grandson why he was crying, she told him that he should not be crying for everything because that is only for girls and that he needed to learn that boys don’t cry. This action really pissed me off, how she dare to tell the little boy who is only 8, that he is not suppose to show how he feels because he is a boy. This is how society put in our mind since we are little the way we are suppose to act. I couldn’t agree more with Carlos Andres Gomez that states in his essay Confronting the Superhero Myth, “we need men who are striving to grow and learn and ask questions and risk being wrong and be humble and be better today than they were yesterday”. Indeed, we need men that are equal to women and that don’t feel less because of it, and this includes how they feel. There is nothing wrong with crying or showing your emotions. Being able to express yourself only shows how strong you
They are told to not cry, to not show emotions, to not be a sissy but they are never told how to be themselves. Fear of being alone makes most males attached to their alternate masculine selves and never allow them to find their true selves. As a young child I was afraid to cry when I would get hurt because I didn't want to be called “girly” or a “wussy”. Every guy goes through this in elementary school, middle school,
The main character seems intent on making himself out to be anything but the average human male specimen and even clearly states "nature seems but a willed phenomenon, of the imagination" (Oates 267). His rejection of what he perceives to be common amongst other men serves to fuel his pride. In the quote, he underestimates the capabilities of his mind in regard to instinct, while at the same time overestimating his mind's willpower to overcome instinct. One might even go as far as to say he is trying to reach a higher state of being. Aristotle has said, "Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god" (Duncan 2012).
As a female, I had never put much thought into the social pressures to be masculine. I see, now, that there was never as much pressure for women to be feminine, as there was for men to be masculine. Dr. Kilmartin outlines some of the attributes of masculinity as, not showing feelings, not being allowed to cry, and doing something because it would “make a man out of you.” In my past, I have been with guys that were emotionally unavailable; I chalked this up to immaturity, but now I wonder does it have something to do with their unconscious and inherent need to be seen as masculine. I could have also easily been insensitive because they did not know how to be in a relationship.
The primary explanation for the differences in how people express their emotions rests on biology. First of all, our biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect and interpret emotional expressions (Swenson & Casmir, 1998). Our gender can shape how receptive we are of other people’s feelings, whether that person is of the same or different sex as us. Usually, people are generally better at recognizing the emotions of the member of the same sex (Adler, Rosenfeld, Proctor, 2007). The definition of being a man or a woman is also influenced by the culture one grows up in. Typically, most boys are taught to be tough even at a young age and are even encouraged by most fathers to play roughly with other boys their age. Crying is one emotion that is greatly discouraged because it is seen as a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is acceptable for girls since society teaches them to be gentle and nurturing. This probably explains why males are usually more aggressive and competitive than females. These also go hand in hand with the social roles of men and women in society. Our occupations can also get in the way of expressing our emotions, as we are expected to act pleasant even though we don’t really feel that way. For example, ...