The Dinner By Herman Koch: Parental Figure

A parental figure has the ability to create a significant impact on the way their child will act in certain situations and where their child will end up in life. A parent's responsibility is to be a positive example and make sure the child has everything needed to live a healthy life. In The Dinner by Herman Koch, Paul does not necessarily make the most responsible choices for the betterment of himself as a father and his son Michel. Paul has showed his level of responsibility by allowing his son to witness him do violent things, visibly using various coping mechanisms to deal with certain situation, and his choosing to have a child with Claire despite her sociopathic tendencies. Throughout the novel, Paul has a tendency to let his emotions

These coping mechanisms directly affect the way he raises Michel. Most of the time, these coping mechanisms help Paul stray away from difficult situations in his life. This reflects directly on Michel, for Paul engages these coping mechanisms while raising his son. For example, when Paul is home alone with Michel, he keeps mentioning to Michel they are going to clean his room, but “due to the comforting fact that there was plenty of time to clean up later on, it hadn’t happened” (205). This is an example of the way Paul instantly represses any somewhat difficult thought. This is very irresponsible of him to do in front of his son, as later in the novel when Paul is asking Michel if he wants to visit his mother Claire in the hospital, Michel “acted as though he hadn’t heard” him. (198) Disassociating with the fact that his mom is in the hospital, Paul's overt coping mechanisms are rubbing off on his son. Another strong example of Paul's influence on Michel is when the father and son are talking about something terrible that Michel did. Paul says directly to Michel; “You know what the best thing would be? To just forget it for the time being. As long as nothing happens, nothing is happening.” (142) Here Paul is projecting his coping mechanism of repression onto his son. All in all, Paul's usage of coping mechanisms affect the way Michel is

He ruled out that Claire would be a great mother, therefore they had a child. For example, during the actual dinner in the novel, Claire asks her sister-in-law multiple times “what time it is” and that she “needs to check in with Michel.” (245) Claire then proceeds to make a fake call; creating an alibi for Michel when he is actually somewhere that he shouldn’t be. As long as her family has a perfect image, then they are a happy family. Also, Claire injures her brother-in-laws face very badly with broken glass. All because she did not want him to release the truth about her child. Paul married a women who will do whatever is necessary to make it seem like she has a normal family, including injuring his own brother. The way Claire goes about her life is a direct influence on how responsable of a parent Paul