Why Doesn’t She Just Leave Since the first day they met, everyone knew that Katie and Ted would stay together forever. He was always telling everyone how he loved her and that she was the perfect wife and mother. However, behind closed doors was another story. Ted was not a kind man in “his” house, he was verbally abusive and constantly accusing Katie of cheating on him. These fits of rage were promptly followed by flowers and apologies. Katie was abused by Ted, however, she did love him and he did promise never to hurt her again. According to Gosselin (2014), the Cycle of Violence is the theory that best describes Katie and Ted’s ongoing, abuse-filled, relationship (p.175). The Cycle of Violence contains three elements, or stages, which allow for an offender to reel the victim back in after each incident of abuse (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). The first stage is called tension building, this is when the offender is bottling up any and all frustrations, the victim may feel he or she is walking on eggshells around the offender (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). The second stage is called the explosion, which is exactly what happens, the offender uses all of that bottled up energy, anger and frustration to batter, or abuse, the victim (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). Now the third and final stage of the cycle of violence is the honeymoon stage, this is the stage where the offender seeks to reconcile with the victim and keeps the victim from leaving with apologies and promises that the abuse will never occur again (Gosselin, 2014, p.175). To the victim, this may seem like the offender merely lost his or her temper and that he or she probably won’t abuse again but that is where the victim is wrong, hence the name of the theory, it is a repeat cycle of vio... ... middle of paper ... ...sn’t she just leave?” However, when informed of the actual complications that victims of domestic violence face, a bystander may instead ask, “How can I help her leave?” Katie may not think that leaving is an option and may not even see her situation as abuse, but an informed advocate for domestic violence victims may be able to recognize the signs and share with Katie that her life doesn’t have to be that way. There are many explanations for why she does stay and only few that should guide her otherwise, as a bystander or a survivor becoming learned of the issues revolving domestic violence and intimate partner abuse can increase the odds of victim survival. Victims must become educated and connected with resources before they will begin to feel that there may be hope for a better life and only until then will they remain victims and not become survivors. 66964383
There are many women who are currently in an abusive relationship, or have been in an abusive relationship. The most common reason these women do not leave their abuser is because they are scared, financial, or family reasons. Amy McGee would be alive today to tell her own story if her situation was handled differently.
One of the reasons why IPV victims do not leave his or her abusers is due to isolation. This one of the any methods abusers use in order to achieve control over his or her victims. Abusers isolate the victim by cutting the victim's ties to any support system and resources. A support system includes family, friends, classmates, coworkers, and the government. Isolation is one of the many methods used in order to gain control over the victim’s life. In the autobiographical novel, I Am Not Your Victim: Anatomy of Domestic Violence, the author Beth Sipe discusses the domestic violence that she had suffered during her 16 year marriage. Sipe describes their “romance,” the abuse of power, Sam isolating her and her family, the confusion, the fear, the
This is the tenth time that Lisa has been admitted to the hospital within the past two years. At least this time there aren’t any broken bones or concussions to worry about. Lisa only has two black eyes, a patch of her beautiful long hair forcibly yanked from her head, a nasty black and blue bruise on her neck and a few nails ripped directly from the newly manicured nail beds. Lisa swore to God and her best friend Brandy that this was the final straw. Actually, she made that exact same pledge under oath just three months ago, yet she is coincidently in the same position she vowed never to return to. This time was different though. She was making plans to move her things out of the small apartment that she shared with her boyfriend the minute she was discharged from Sinai Grace Hospital, and what seem to be her home away from home. Lisa has made plans for her mom to babysit her 2 year old daughter while she searches for work, and Brandy has already told Lisa she can stay with her as long as she needed to. Yet, the very next day, Lisa calls to inform Brandy that she decided to stay with Jason despite of the awful things that he has done to her. Lisa believes that Jason has changed overnight and that he deserves a second chance, besides a child needs to be raised with both parents in the home. Unfortunately Brandy was not at all surprised by the phone call, in fact, she was expecting it. As the wave of guilt and the “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve” attempts to overcome Brandy again, she quickly snapped back into reality, wiped the tears off her face and placed the white roses on Lisa’s tombstone. A story like Lisa’s usually raises the million dollar question; why do women stay in abusive relationships? Across the nation...
An abused woman is always faced with a number of different choices from which she may consider, with regards to seeking help or ending the relationship with a variety of alternatives, the woman knows each decision involves a variety of risks. Time after time, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” This question can be answered by analyzing the psychological effects domestic abuse has on women. Many women are unable to cope with the emotional and psychological stress of domestic abuse and resort to violence and extre...
School shootings, gang violence, drive by shootings, murder, and thousands of acts of violence are committed every day. Members of our society criticize their own people for this violence while they continue to sit back and do nothing about it. These acts of violence have many contributing factors. Violence in our country today is escalating because we don't control the distribution of the guns sold. There are not enough restrictions on guns sold legally. The illegal purchase of guns through the black market is out of control. There is not enough education on the usage and storage of guns.
Oliver kept Deborah in check through violence and the use of physical threats. They entered the honeymoon period after Oliver impregnated her. Deborah felt safe and believed the abuse would be over. However, the honeymoon period did not last long, and the abuse worsened (Herrera, 2013). This is a cycle of violence domestic dispute. Often the victim of the abuse would forgive the abuser during the honeymoon period, only have a short period of peace. Tension would build up in the relationship and a violent release of anger by the abuser. This cycle can go on for years. The victims are oft...
Their experiences have several similarities. The abuse began as verbal and emotional, they never imagined that what they were experiencing would become physical. In Steiner’s case, when it did become physical, she was still in denial about it being domestic violence. Both women delivered the same message of hope to current spousal abuse victims: you are not alone. Bring people in, let them know what you are experiencing. Knowledge is power and you are not powerless. Reach out to social supports and lean on your natural resources. Don’t keep the secrets of abuse to protect the reputation of the abuser. Tell someone. Tell everyone! The final step of domestic violence is murder. Pay attention to the early signs in the wheel of domestic violence, including watching for early signs and intervening before it reaches the point of abuse. Although difficult, Leslie and Mary both survived their abuse and thrived to speak out for victims of domestic violence. Their stories offer hope to the hopeless and shine the presence of help for the helpless. Both of these, hope and help, are crucial for the domestic violence victim to become a domestic violence survivor. Their stories of strength show victims of domestic violence that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that they, too, can reach
Why Doesn’t She Leave? Supplemental reading by Jones raises the discussion of the United States “private: versus “public” family. Furthermore, “When the House first passed a Domestic Violence bill in 1980 to prove some emergency services, the Washington Star urged the Senate to vote it down and keep “the long arm of Washington bureaucracy” out of “private life” (Jones, Page 164). In arguing this claim, the shelter for abused women stated, “would weaken the traditional family. Emergency counseling for abused women would break down the emotional ties that make a family unit strong” (Jones, Page 164). In other words, the shelter abused women asserts, that if our democracy would step into our so call “private life,” it would make our family household weak. To a certain extent this makes sense, however, coming from a college student, indeed a future law enforcement officer, I think this is just an excuse for the
This shows the amount of victims that are being left behind by domestic violence support networks in their current state, despite their good intentions. For such a painful and difficult time, it is not adequate to leave one third of those suffering behind. While there would be many cases where one-on-one support would be required for these victims, as with any victim of domestic violence.... ... middle of paper ... ...
Domestic violence affects numerous women across different aspects of their lives. The main cause of injury to women is domestic violence (“Domestic Violence Statistics,” n.d.). Factors that contribute to the occurrence and continuation of this form of violence towards women include isolation, economic aspects and access to resources. Abusive men socially isolate their partners from friends and family. The women have restrictions in contact with other people. This manages to keep the battering hidden and makes it harder for the victim to find help and leave. Perpetrators of domestic violence may also isolate their partner from employment. It is a control tactic and enables the abuser to have complete control over the finances of the household and her ability to access the money. This also socially isolates the women because she no longer has co-workers to be around and is forced to stay inside the home all day by herself. She is now totally economically dependent on her abuser, which decreases her opportunity to leave the relationship and to have stability once she leaves. ...
together not only in the time of need, but at all times and in every
Guns and violence have some long lasting effects on not only the crime rate, but the rights that people have to own guns themselves. Even though the violence is a factor in why many believe that guns should be banned, guns should be allowed and not banned because they should be allowed because of the laws and the rights of citizens allow them there rights. The ethics and laws that occur with the current and enduring debates are another meaningful point. As Supreme Court Cases rage on about how a cities ban on handguns could break amendments, this is how the topic has gained from it (Hoxie 474). As crime statistics begin to rise there are many reasons that they need to work on the juvenile justice system (Collier 478). The other topic of the age could become a factor is another point that many think needs to be changed, as a 13 year old child could commit murder, they would not be sentenced as severely as an adult (Cohen 481). The ethic and laws play a huge effect on guns and violence because of the effects it has on crime, and the citizens themselves play a huge role on the society that they live in.
Payne, Darrel. Domestic Violence and the Female Victim: The Real Reason Women Stay! 1st ed. Vol. 3. N.p.: Scientificjournals, 2009. : Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships. Scientificjournals, 2009. Web. 16 Feb. 2014.
“My journey to hell and back begin twelve years ago when I met what I thought would be the man of my dreams. In the beginning it was all good but as time went on he became someone I didn’t know. My children and I were physically abused and I had to find a way out.” Jane experienced what no person should have to endure which is Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence is commonly known as violent or aggressive behavior in the home involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. Experiencing domestic violence can cause long term effects on young Americans. Having more programs to help these women get out of these situations and building their self-esteem will help to lessen domestic violence cases.
It is not always easy to determine in the early stages of a relationship if one person will become abusive. Abusers may often seem wonderful and perfect initially, but gradually become more aggressive and controlling as the relationship continues. Violence and control always intensifies over time with an abuser, despite the apologies (ncadv.org). I Choose Life attempts to give a voice to the victims and survivors of domestic violence. Along with, offering an understanding to domestic violence, we construct educational seminars and programs that will help to drive that change. Domestic violence is the sole responsibility of the abuser.