Everyone Wants Someone to be Proud of Them
Why are some parent’s value systems different than others? Some parents are more care free about what their children do. On the other hand some parents are strict and watch every move their child makes. Examples of value systems are understanding, strict and care free. In the story “Teenage Wasteland” by: Anne Tyler the main character Donny has ‘warder’ like parents Daisy and Matt that don’t let him do anything. Later on both of them try doing it Donny’s way give him more rope, but that doesn’t work either. His grades drop, so now it goes back to doing what his parents say and he doesn’t like it one bit. Parents should be strict with their children in order to help them succeed. Parent’s rules and
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“Back when you were helping Donny with his homework his grades rose from a D to C” (1305). Even though Donny didn’t like that his mom was helping him with his homework, she knew what she had to do to in order for her son to get the grades she knows he can get. That’s why Daisy made sure any possible distraction was out of arms reach. If not then sat with him until he was finished and done correctly. Parent’s rules and actions impact a child’s emotional well-being. “Just look at Donny’s face when they picked him up: alight and full of interest” (1304). Donny started to become filled with life after his parents made the decision for him to begin taking tutoring. It was slowly was starting to change him into a more social teenager. Before he was put in tutoring Donny had no emotions toward anyone especially his parents, but after Daisy told him what was going to happen, he didn’t seem too hesitant about the idea. When dealing with the social well-being of a child, parents have certain actions and rules that take place. “They’re a pretty sociable group all in all. Plenty of goof-offs like young Donny here” (1304). Daisy and Matt tried to push Donny into being more social and after he started tutoring he was going out, had a girlfriend, this to them was a break through.
Strict parents have a better impact on their child’s emotional, academic, and social well-being. If you are continually pushing your children and not changing the rules that have already been set, they will gradually begin to change and have the same or better expectations for themselves. Seeing how proud your parents are of you makes you feel great and pushes you to do better. Everyone wants someone to be proud of
It is ironic that the person who has been enlisted to help Donny and who supposedly has “considerable psychological training” winds up being the person who leads to Donny’s grades and behavior getting even worse, and due to his influence leads to Donny being expelled from school (11). With the character of Cal, Tyler demonstrates further irony in that while he should be setting rules for Donny and adding structure to his life, he instead sets rules for Donny’s parents. Cal encourages Donny to have more freedom and tells Daisy and Matt that Donny doesn’t feel trusted, and so in turn instead of Daisy and Matt enforcing rules, they become more lax about the rules. They let him stay out later, attend parties, and don’t ask questions about what he is getting up to (42). Here the roles have been reversed and instead of Donny following rules, his parents are the ones following rules; “They were not allowed any questions at all about any aspect of school, nor were they to speak with his teachers” (look up para #).
Parenting is one of the things in life where there is not a rulebook and there are a lot of beliefs on how to raise children. Parents tend to raise their children based on their childhood experiences whether they were good or bad. Some parents raise their children just like they were raised and some raise their children differently because they don’t agree with the way their parents raised them. Parenting styles are based on the ideals and beliefs parents have about raising their children. Research shows that parenting styles directly affect how children behave in and out of school. Students may be presented with
For example, Joe is an eight-year-old kid that was raised by permissive parents. Joe is known as the trouble kid throughout his school district and is a frequent visitor at the principal’s office due to his use of curse words and disrespecting his teachers. Joe continues to explain that he does not understand what he is doing wrong or why he is always in trouble. When Joe’s actions are brought to his parent’s attention, his parents do not discipline him or make him apologize, resulting in replicated bad behavior from Joe. Similar problems could occur on the other end of the parenting style spectrum; authoritarian parenting. Let's say that Sally has authoritarian parents. Her parents tell her that if she does not get at least A’s in all her classes, she will be grounded until her grade is brought back up. Although Sally might have great grades and appear to be a great student, she will have a great amount of anxiety and fear of failure because of the mindset that her parents have installed into
In this study, another relationship between parenting styles and child development is presented. Participants were 7,836 adolescents enrolled in six high schools in San Francisco. They were provided with a questionnaire that included student background information, self-reported grades, parental attitudes and behaviors, and family commutation information. The study included three parenting styles, which were authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Each one of the styles were described in the students’ questionnaire. The authoritarian style included the idea that as a response to a bad grade, parents tend to get upset, and when good grades are achieved, parents tell the student to do even better than what they have done. On the other hand, permissive parenting style was described as parents no caring about the students’ grade, and that hard work in school is not important for them. Then, they included authoritative parenting style as supportive parents that praise the student when good grades are achieved and more freedom to make decisions is given, but when poor grades are obtained, freedom is taken away and students are encouraged to try harder and some source of help is
My reason for this is not only because the outcomes of the child are greatly positive but also it is the way I was raised and I am delighted about who I am, which is exactly how I would like my children to be. I want to raise my children to love themselves no matter what anyone says, I want them to treat people with respect even if the people are not respectful themselves. I want my children to be successful in life and with everything and anything they put their minds to. Authoritative parenting is the best way to raise a child in my eyes because the must learn that the world is not fair and the must work in order to be successful. My parents raised me this way and I am successful, pleased, liked by many teachers and peer. Having a debate with my parents and sometimes my friends is even healthy because in the real world not everyone is going to agree with you. I also want my children raised under the authoritative parenting style because they must know if you disobey there will be punishments but that does not mean I do not love them any less and they will be forgiven at times, because the authoritarian style of punishment does not necessary show that you love your child if you constantly beat them. The other styles of parenting seem un-human like to either let your child control you or to neglect your child into thinking they are unloved. My children will always be
Authoritative style remains high in all four domains. Authoritative parents’ use of appropriate discipline such as using time-out or mild punishment ensures their children’s independence along with children’s compliance with parental demands. Compare to children with any other parenting styles, children raised by authoritative parents have higher self-esteem, self confidence, and better grades in elementary school, high school, and college. They are also less likely to abuse alcohol or tobacco as adolescents. In general, children of the authoritative parenting style show more altruistic
“Fortunately, children do not need “perfect” parents. They do need mothers and fathers who will think on their feet and who will be thoughtful about what they have done. They do need parents who can be flexible, and who can use a variety of approaches to discipline.” - James L. Hymes, Jr. this quote, I can say, is physically very true. If it wasn’t my father who was rigorous to...
Growing up in the recent generations is very challenging. Children at such young ages, even younger than teens have been faced with such perilous decisions. It is especially hard for teenagers to find acceptance at this point in their lives. Here is an instance that is so common in this day and age, yet this particular case is only fiction. A teenage boy named Donny has been going through a few changes in his appearance. His parents, Matt and Daisy, are somewhat disturbed yet they don’t say much to him. Then one day Daisy gets a call from Donny’s school administrator and tells her that his grades are attitude are dropping scale. He eventually gets kicked out of private school and does poorly in public school. Daisy was concerned and decided to take advice from the school and psychologist to get help from a highly reputable tutor, Calvin Applebee. Instead of Donny’s parents talking to their son they hire Cal, which tries to handle Donny’s lack of emotion and performance. Donny’s performance didn’t change with Cal, at least in the school aspect, but Cal kept reassuring Daisy and Matt that it would change and to give it more time. In result, Donny runs away after being sent home because he was expelled for being caught with drugs in his locker and months later he still has not returned home. Who is to blame? Should Daisy and Matt been more disciplined on Donny? Well, in Anne Tyler’s short story the Teenage Wasteland this is just what happened. I really enjoyed this story because I feel it really focused on an issue that is so common in our generation. It was easy to read and was straight to the point. I especially enjoyed the role of the dumbfounded parents, Cal’s cynical character, and in result of the all their foolishness, the action Donny resulted in taking.
The author in this story has tried hard to bring the problem of teenage runaways to the surface in order to shed light on its cause and possible solutions. The conflict that exists between the son. Donny and his mother Daisy reflects the kind of problems that many American families are facing today. It is extremely important to understand that while many people blame teenagers for their irrational and irresponsible behavior when their life doesn't turn out well, they completely forgot the importance of role played by parents and how it can have a profound impact on the child life. Donny's parents are not spending enough time with him. He is not getting the attention he wants from his parents. His mother Daisy spends more time with Donny's sister. When he started acting up, his parents got him a tutor. He started going over there three times a week and he liked going over there. His tutor Cal, paid attention to Donny. Donny liked having somebody pay attention to him. Donny listened to what he had to say. When he got expelled from school he went to Cal's house instead of his house. He thought that Cal understood him more then his mother. Cal was like a friend instead of a tutor. "Cal lent Donny an album of by The Who. He took Donny and two other pupils to a rock concert. In March, when Donny began to talk endlessly on the phone with a girl named Miriam, Cal even let Miriam come to one of the tutoring session."(Tyler 760). He is jealous of his sister and he is probably doing these things for attention. "Daisy remembered when Donny sister Amanda was born. Donny had acted lost and bewildered. Daisy had been alert to that, of course, but still, a new baby keeps you so busy" (Tyler 757).Donny just needs some attention and somebody to help him out in his problems. He just needs somebody to talk to about his problems. If they see their parents doing these things, then they are going to act on it. Teenagers look up to their parents. At the age Donny is he is going to be experimental and they are going to try new things out. He needs to experience things on his own.
Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and strengths. All parents incorporate love and limit in their style of parenting. There are four different types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, and uninvolved parents.
Authoritative parenting has a stronger positive outcome due to the balance maintained within the structure of this parenting style. According to developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, “Authoritative parents are firm, setting limits for their children. As the children get older, these parents try to reason and explain things to them. They also set clear goals and encourage their children's independence,” (Baumrind 2005). For example, a young boy wants to play video games all day and the parent decides this is unwise. It is a nice day outside and the parent wants him to go out and play. An authoritative approach would be to sit down with the child and explain the positives of playing outside rather than the negatives of playing video games. The parent would appeal to the child's interests in order to engage the child in effective parenting. The child would then be able to see the positive side of the decision rather than just the negative consequences.
The style of parenting with which children are raised can profoundly affect their social development, as well as their abilities to deal with life situations as adults. Parents who follow the permissive style of parenting have very few rules, no consistent limits, and more often than not give in to their children.. In a permissive family, the children are in charge.
Every parent has different skills that they use when dealing with their child. Growing up I had two parents with completely different techniques on how to handle situations with me. Both of my parents love me unconditionally, and would give me the entire world if they could. For every parent, teaching lessons and earning respect is a very important aspect to them. Each of my parents love me so much, but both have very different ways of showing affection, discipline, and communication.
As parents one only want the best for their children. Therefore, one sometimes tend to come off as strict parents. Parents that only want the best for their children try to teach them respect and mold them into bright, intelligent individuals. Nowadays, the way you appear and carry yourself if very important. Parents who do not let their child participate in some events only does this because one is looking out for their children. Parents are sometimes strict because, one does not want their child to stray away, one does not want their child to make the same mistakes as one did when one was younger, and to teach discipline.
Both of my grandparents raised my own parents when being young kids into having discipline, responsibilities and obligations. Back in the day, the years were different and it required a lot more education/principles. Education has been one of the most maybe top five of me, my character. Since what I remember by parents always taught me the right path, not wrong, they always tried to fix my mistakes so I wouldn 't repeat them or make myself look bad in front of other people. They wanted me to be an educated person with principles, but I never understood why