I started high school in a tremendously dark place. I hated everyone because nobody had ever done anything for me. Why would I do something for someone else or myself for that matter? Anyone who tried to direct me in a better direction I said “f*ck you”. In my dark place I was doing every single drug I could get my hands on. I was high or drunk all the time. I was skipping class to hang out with friends that sold me drugs. I am surprised that with all my encounters with the police I didn't get put in jail. I was addicted to multiple substances and eventually had to go to rehab. I disrespected everyone so whatever happened to me was prolly karma. All I wanted to do was party. I snuck out at night and did crazy things. I was having sex with …show more content…
By the time I was in 10th grade I had given up. I was done fighting because there was nothing to fight for. I realized there is no point in trying because it won't get better. I cried myself to sleep every night after my family would yell at me saying I wasn't enough. I felt like a terrible daughter and sister. At this point really all I wanted to do was die. Ever since I was old enough to understand that killing myself was an option I thought one day I would be dead. I wanted someone to notice that I was so unhappy and that my life was a mess. Nobody ever put the pieces together until I found someone just like me. I wanted love but I also didn't care anymore. Good comes bad. My good was finally getting a home cooked meal and the bad was getting beaten like I was a punching bag. That was the problem and that wasn't okay with me. My first suicide attempt was jumping in front of a car. After many hospitalizations and therapists later I was finally getting better. I found a therapist who had dealt with similar things and actually gave me a different perspective and hope. I finally had someone to talk to that wasn't drowning. I didn't cry and do drugs or hurt myself all the time anymore. I was gonna be okay. I still had breakdowns but that was okay; crying is an outlet. I needed to stop holding everything in. Everyday I contributed to my …show more content…
I want to say this is me and you should accept that. I am beautiful the way I am, inside and out. I don’t want to apologize for being me. There is a place for me I just have to work hard enough to find it. If someone doesn't like me when I am at my worst and in crisis then they don’t deserve to see or be with me at my best. Fake friends leave when things get hard. Real friends stick with you through everything. This symbolizes a time in my life when the one person who said she was never gonna leave left. She is back in my life now but I don't trust her. I have to keep my head up for me and not for her. She can't be the most important thing in my life. I have been in many bad relationships and I can do better than all of them. Sometimes I wish it would have worked out between me and them but really I am better off. Overall, I should thank all the people that hurt me because they made me who I am. I am still living, breathing and standing. They didn't kill me. I should give myself a high five because look what I have overcome. This world is mine and I can do whatever I want with my life. I can inspire others to get better because there is life at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it. Believing is seeing. Seeing isn't
Suicide and the Predictions of Suicide In the first paper I read about hopelessness and eventual suicide, four authors studied 207 hospitalized patients with suicidal ideation. There was a follow up period of 5-10 years when these patients were systematically checked up on to see their status. Fourteen eventually completed suicide within the follow up period. In the study the researchers used the Beck Depression Inventory, the Hopelessness Scale, and the Scale of Suicidal Ideation.
I missed a lot of school and was unable to attend school. It turned out to be a neurological tick. I was always coughing could hardly move without coughing, sore throat, just felt really horrible. It took multiple doctors to examine me and no one could figure it out. Finally an immunologist figured it out the issue. It took almost a whole year for me to get better. I was constantly at home but I also spent some time in the National Jewish hospital. This was hard for my mom she was distraught over this issue. Not only did she have her health issues but she was taking care of my health issues. On top of the health issues we had issues with the school accepting that I was unable to come to school. They would threaten us with the truancy officers but my condition couldn’t be helped at the time until the treatment was completed. The treatments sucked and having a year taken from me sucked more than anything. I just kept thinking like this is so stupid what teenager has this happen to them. All I did was thinking of what I would do when I was better. I kept stressing myself out as well not being able to get out of the house and do what I needed or to know I was a year behind in school because of this stupid coughing tick. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, I just had to live day by day and hope that my life and health would bet
My story starts at the beginning, in this case, my childhood. In my youth, I was a free spirit with no care in the world. I didn’t think much of what others thought about me, I just acted like myself and that is what mattered. I did not live in fear. I wasn’t afraid to pursue new experiences. I often wore all sorts of clothes because I loved to be someone who I wasn’t just for my enjoyment. Sometimes I even dressed up in girls clothing and
Some people will use suicidal thoughts or attempts to get what they want or to get out of things they do not want to do. People try suicide to hurt others, to try to get back at boy or girl friends, and to get out of work or school. By keeping this possibility in mind, most parents (with a little help) can prevent suicidal behavior from becoming a habit.
Substance abuse complicates almost every aspect of care for the person with a mental disorder. When drugs enter the brain, they can interrupt the work and actually change how the brain performs its jobs; these changes are what lead to compulsive drug use. Drug abuse plays a major role when concerning mental health. It is very difficult for these individuals to engage in treatment. Diagnosis for a treatment is difficult because it takes time to disengage the interacting effects of substance abuse and the mental illness. It may also be difficult for substance abusers to be accommodated at home and it may not be tolerated in the community of residents of rehabilitation programs. The author states, that they end up losing their support systems and suffer frequent relapses and hospitalizations (Agnes B. Hatfield, 1993).
A suicide attempt is a clear indication that something is gravely wrong in a person’s life. No matter the race or age of the person; how rich or poor they are, it is true that most people who die by suicide have a mental or emotional disorder. The most common underlying disorder is depression, 30% to 70% of suicide victims suffer from major depression or bipolar (manic-depressive) disorder.
“I would never be good enough” was circling in my head while there were children laughing and a power saw fading in the background. One autumn day of 7th grade I was in woodshop class, making my CO2 car - minding my own business when suddenly a kid starts making fun of me. I didn’t know what was happening at first, until the other children were joining in - my life changed from good to worse in just a split second.
Suicide, it's not pretty. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's the
Research indicates that young people are often quite verbal with their intentions, making statements such as, “I’d be better off dead” or “I won't be a problem for you much longer” (Marcuvitz 23). One warning sign that a young person may be contemplating suicide is mood swings (Marcuvitz 22).
Committing suicide probably sounds like a foreign idea to most people, but to the people who think about it, they deal with it every day. More importantly, the question is what leads people to kill themselves? In general, most people do not want to actually kill themselves, even though many people joke about it on a daily basis. Being a human, we all have a certain amount of will to live. Depression is the major cause for suicidal thoughts and ideas. After a long enough period of time, people become worn down and become less and less happy.
I want to say thank you to my friends, who stand with me when I was in the hardest moment of my high school life. I have learnt that people have their own personalities so if I fell uncomfortable to hang out with them, I should not try to make them love me anymore. Instead, I can meet new people and find real friends. Rain is not always fall because it will stop some day, and so do human’s life. Their life is like a hard weather day. It will have rain or storm but at the end, it will end and rainbow will appear in the sky. People said, “If there is a door closes in front of you, there will be other open to you”. My vivid moment it so hurt, but I have learnt from that. I will not be like now if I did not have a chance to face that problem in the pass.
The four years after I dropped out of school I just sat around and did nothing.. I thought it was cool because I had nothing to do and I didn’t have to get up early and whatever. I was hanging out with the wrong people. These people I thought were my friends really weren’t and just used me. I got into trouble when I was in school a lot and there were constant problems at home. I started drinking a lot and smoking pot. At the time I thought those thing’s were a way out of it all, but I was so wrong. It got really bad and it affected everything I did. I would lash out at people that didn’t deserve it and I really started to hate myself. It was about time I did something with my life otherwise I would keep drowning into nothing.
I would cry myself to sleep for months and months, I cried so much that i was physically and mentally drained. It got so bad over time so much sadness it actually caused me to get sick, my mom had to take me to the doctor. I legitimately was going through a rough time, i wanted nothing to do with anyone and with anything, I had zero energy. Even though all this was happening to me, time was healing my
...and goal oriented people you will most likely get the best out of life. If you decide to surround yourself with negative people who don’t have anything to look forward to in life, then you’re setting yourself up to be unsuccessful. Those negative people will try their hardest to bring you down with them.
This was it. I was expelled from the school. My life was over. I didn’t care about my other friends who were with me; they all kind of disappeared away from me. All I was thinking of now was myself and the trouble I was in and predicting what will happen when will get home and tell this story to my parents.