They don’t tell you how much you’ll fall until you do. The collapsing feeling, the absolute captivity, the apparent numbness and euphoric feeling of love. You go through the different stages either epically or not at all. You skip past the bullshit and reveal your true self or you get stuck in it and can’t get through. I’m in the room and I look around only to find my significant other. What had he been doing here? I panicked and I darted out of his view. I stumbled into the bathroom and collected myself. Opened the medicine cabinet and swished some mouthwash around. I looked in the mirror at my bloodshot eyes and wished I could just fall asleep and stay inside forever. I fell to the floor and slowly drifted and then I left. I often left and I liked it that way. Checking out of life one whiskey shot at a time. I was found wrapped around porcelain. He found me. And he never knew why I was there. My boyfriend Jack carried me away. As I glanced over his shoulder I glared at the source. The source of my fatality. I hadn’t felt alive in a really long time. But I didn’t want to. He stared back and winked at me. “Jesus fucking Christ Jack can you maybe be a little gentler.” I said ferociously. “Can I maybe stop finding you trashed in the bathroom at every party you go to?” “I don’t know baby the bathroom is just so much nicer.” I said grimly with a hint of sarcasm. “Besides, look what I scored in creepy Tom’s bathroom” Jack stared at me as I slurred my words, “Sedatives my love, if you keep acting like an a - hole you won’t get any.” Jack was silent with a slight grin on his face. I told him I was hungry and we drove to the nearest fast food restaurant. I just really needed some mini churros in my belly more than anything. I stare... ... middle of paper ... ...ly and I guess he showed up. The morning came and Jack asked me how I felt so I started crying and begging for forgiveness, but he just walked away and said it was too late. I had nothing. I lost my very best friend and I didn’t want to be without him. He was always right there with me through the worst days and the best and he loved me for me. Flaws and all. I left my house that day with a note in my back pocket. A goodbye letter to my dearest Jack. I was coked out and drunk as fuck and I wanted to tell Jack that I was sorry one last time and that it was okay to move on and I would be fine and all of this other shit that wasn’t true. I started my car and the song “Kelsey” by Metro Station started blaring and I almost broke the nob trying to turn it down. I flew down the street swiping a few trashcans as I went and when I got on the freeway everything went white.
It had been reported that, “Numerous people have told of hearing their doctors or other spectators in effect pronounce them dead” (Moody Jr, MD, 2015, p. 17). This is an out of body experience. Each reported feelings of peace and quiet, which transitioned into a bad buzzing noise. After proceeding through a tunnel, they have an “encounter with a very bright light” (Moody Jr, MD, 2015, p. 51). Questions resound around a reflection of their life, what they had learned during it, and if it was worth it. Invariably, each of the subjects’ encounter a border at which they are told they need to go back. “Considering the skepticism and lack of understanding that greet the attempt of a person to discuss his near-death experience, it is not surprising that almost everyone in this situation comes to feel that he is unique, that no one else has ever undergone what he has” (Moody Jr, MD, 2015, p. 83). Naturally, the outcome of this experience has an effect on the lives of those experiencing it.
"It’s considered a clean room and so parents can’t actually walk back in there with their street clothes on and things like that."
Death’s whisper traveled in my ear, wrapping around my mind, “I can take you away from this madness. Beyond this hell, that is life.” “Will it be more peaceful there?” I asked. “As serene as heaven above.” Possessive Depression responded. My heavy heart fluttered at the thought of serenity. No more painful days, or lonely, restless nights. No more of this living death. Anxiety murmured all my insecurities tempting me to make the decision, as every tick-tock from the clock he held, echoed in my brain, putting fear in me of things that will never happen. I thought about the invitation to eternal sleep, “I would finally be able to extract this smiling mask…” Thus, I decided to join the dance of death, done dealing with my dilemmas.
“Morning sweety, you must be famished. I have French toast!” I sat down and smiled, but still did not stop staring at Colton. He giggled,
For the first time, I just frozen there thinking,”Cody is going to die, CODY IS GOING TO DIE.” I felt that I had lost control of my own body and that I too was going to die. There was a sharp pain in my body and I just sat down, crying, crying, crying.
As I inched my way toward the cliff, my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I could feel the coldness of the rock beneath my feet when my toes curled around the edge in one last futile attempt at survival. My heart was racing like a trapped bird, desperate to escape. Gazing down the sheer drop, I nearly fainted; my entire life flashed before my eyes. I could hear stones breaking free and fiercely tumbling down the hillside, plummeting into the dark abyss of the forbidding black water. The trees began to rapidly close in around me in a suffocating clench, and the piercing screams from my friends did little to ease the pain. The cool breeze felt like needles upon my bare skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps. The threatening mountains surrounding me seemed to grow more sinister with each passing moment, I felt myself fighting for air. The hot summer sun began to blacken while misty clouds loomed overhead. Trembling with anxiety, I shut my eyes, murmuring one last pathetic prayer. I gathered my last breath, hoping it would last a lifetime, took a step back and plun...
In the state I was in, if someone had come and told me I could go home quietly, that they would leave me my life whole, it would have left me cold: several hours or several years of waiting is all the same when you have lost the illusion of being eternal. I clung to nothing, in a way I was calm. But it was a horrible calm -- because of my body; my body, I saw with its eyes, I heard with its ears, but it was no longer me; it sweated and trembled by itself and I didn't recognize it anymore.
I fell. I fell out of innocence. I fell out of childhood. I fell out of sanity. But I didn't fall willingly, I was pushed. I was pushed by the life the I had chosen for myself. I was pushed by the want to look up to my oldest sibling. I was pushed by the need to have a mother, a protector, a friend. I was pushed by a gust of wind, and just like God intended me to, I fell off the balcony, BACKWARDS, into my sister’s arms.
Stuck In Love, an independent romantic comedy film, is a movie about novelist Bill Borgens, Sam, and Rusty that focuses on their complicated relationships. Bill Borgens, a successful award winning novelist, stops writing for two years after his divorce with his ex wife. Erica is remarried, and Bill flounders over her and intends to keep his promise of marriage with her. Sam is a realist who prefers hook-ups and one night stands as a plan to protect herself because she is afraid of getting hurt by love. Rusty is a high school student who is in love with his classmate, Kate, who is addicted to cocaine. The character Samantha is relatable in the aspect of that she prefers hook-ups because she is afraid of being hurt by love and being betrayed
Pitch stared at the small vile he held in his hand. The last remaining vile of fearling venom left in existence. It was the only vile the Guardian's had failed to destroy all those years ago. In it there was just enough to create one, and he had been so close to doing just that. Had Jack not broken free of his control so soon he would have had his dark prince.
“Are you sure you want to be at home? How about you stay at my place tonight instead?”
...nded delicious and I would pass the word. He smiled back so that must have been the right answer. Thank goodness, because that could have been a disaster.
My stomach weakens with a thought that something is wrong, what would be the answer I could have never been ready for. I call my best friend late one night, for some reason she is the only person’s voice I wanted to hear, the only person who I wanted to tell me that everything will be okay. She answer’s the phone and tells me she loves me, as I hear the tears leak through, I ask her what is wrong. The flood gates open with only the horrid words “I can’t do this anymore”. My heart races as I tell her that I am on my way, what I was about to see will never leave my thoughts.
I disagree and would argue that being in love and loving someone has two very different meanings. The word love is used too loosely. Loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things. Although I am not a love master, being only 19 years old and in two serious relationships in my life, I have come to realize being in love is something special. I believe when you are in love it’s not a choice, that person is picked for you. You are addicted to them, you want all your friends and family to love them as much as you do, you are there when they succeed and there when they fail, you miss them every minute you are apart and you unconditionally love them, even when times get hard.
Wise men say only fools rush in/ but I can't help falling in love with you/ Shall I stay/ would it be a sin/If I can't help falling in love with you/ Like a river flows surely to the sea/ Darling so it goes/ some things are meant to be/ take my hand, take my whole life too/ for I can't help falling in love with you/ Like a river flows surely to the sea/ Darling so it goes/ some things are meant to be/ take my hand, take my whole life too/ for I can't help falling in love with you/ for I can't help falling in love with you –Elvis Presley (1)