Satire About Anorexia

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Satire Local Anorexic Still Way Too Fat Staten Island, New York- Despite years of intense dieting and vigorous exercise, local anorexic Lucy Fernandez is still excessively fat. Reported Monday to the Staten Island Advance, Fernandez who stands five feet and weighs approximately ninety pounds is still overweight and needs to lose a few pounds. “I cannot believe how gross I look,” said the corpulent Fernandez, examining herself in a full-length bathroom mirror. “I am such a whale.” Pinching her bulky, misshapen body, Fernandez expressed frustration with her inability to transform herself into a reasonably svelte person. “I eat celery, I drink only water or diet coke, I do three hours on the Stairmaster everyday,” she said. “But despite all that, I have still got, like, these huge rolls of fat all over.” However, Fernandez could stand to lose a few pounds in nearly every area of her body, worst of all her arms. “I have got this totally disgusting flab on the back of my arms that swings back and forth when I move,” said Fernandez, wearing an oversized champion sweatshirt to conceal...

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