Reflection On Grief And Grief

Over the course of this quarter with Loss & Grief, I was consistently faced with the challenge of understanding perspectives on death and dealing with loss that either conflicted with my perspective, or were just never put into consideration. I believe the most substantial learning I have done within this class has been surrounding the understanding of my father and his grief, and in turn, understanding my own process for the similarities between us. My relationship with my father has been strained since my adolescence; however, in recent months, we have both been working on rebuilding our relationship. Recognizing my father’s grief and process for coping with it has made it much easier for me to make an effort with him.

The most useful resource for this learning experience has been “Living Through Loss.” In this book the authors wrote on midlife adults dealing with their own mortality and struggle with meaning of life saying, “if negotiated well, these events and experiences can result in personal or professional growth, an enriched spiritual life, and an integration of undeveloped dimensions of personality; or they may have less positive outcomes, such as bitterness or depression.”(Hooyman & Kramer, 2008, p. 271) Nearly ten years ago, my father experienced the death of his only brother, and just about

Reflecting on this I realized that I had been repressing my own thoughts and feelings. That conversation proved extremely cathartic for both of us, allowing us to let out all of the emotions and thoughts surrounding our grief, shared and unshared alike. We had both tried to ignore our pain and supplement with things we thought would make us happy, but “the phenomenal emotional, mental, and behavioral energy we spend running after pleasure and away from pain distracts us from the ability to live in equanimity.” (Kumar, 1997, p.