Personal Experience on Erickson´s Imtimacy and Isolation

I lost my dad when I was in my late thirties. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and suffered greatly over the next four years until his untimely passing. Erikson’s theory of ‘Intimacy vs Isolation’ states that you need a strong sense of self (identity) for intimacy to occur. This stage takes place during young adulthood between the ages of approximately 19 and 40. During this period of time, the major conflict centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. While the psychosocial theory is often presented as a series of neatly defined, sequential steps, it is important to remember that each stage contributes to the next. For example, Erik Erikson (a developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his Erikson's stages of psychosocial development) believed that having a fully formed sense of self (established during the identity versus confusion stage) is essential to being able to form intimate relationships. Studies have demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and are more likely to suffer emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression. Success leads to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation.

I was the youngest of three children by five years. My dad and I always enjoyed a strong bond. Simply put, we ‘got each other’. He offered me a great deal of encouragement, coupled with an equal amount of responsibility. We enjoyed engaging in intellectual, challenging and stimulating conversations. My friends and friends of my siblings loved to hang out at our house and enjoyed being around my dad. He cared a lot, about everyone, offered unbiased advice and was always supportive and encouraging. I believe he epitomized the autho...

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...elings are love and fear, as I feared the loss of my father and his love. I believe that these feelings are exemplified in the most profound way through the process of death and dying. It is almost as though we are born to die. Without realizing what life is, how can you face your death? One’s death could almost be considered the culmination of their life. Technology has taken much away from the human aspect of dying. Why is it that only when faced with one’s mortality, do we begin to evaluate how we lived and the choices we have made? As I looked around the house it was hard for me to imagine that the man I so revered was gone. His jacket was where he last took it off and left it, and the project he last worked on left unfinished. Processing the grief has taken many years.

I never missed an opportunity to tell him that I loved him, and I am so thankful for that.