Peer review evaluation of exploratory argument

The essay states that physical education is necessary without examining any contrary opinions or sides making the essay in effect an opinion paper rather than an exploratory argument. The clarity of ideas suffer from poor sentence structure, misuse of words, none sequential sentence structure and non sequiturs. When it promotes flexibility the confusion about context and its use makes it hard to understand. The idea expressed is reasonably easy to follow only because it’s conventional.

The introduction paragraph is confusing and ineffective. Opinions in the paper have unsupported conclusions with no examples to back them up. The paper is somewhat repetitive (example: sentence 1 and 5 from the introduction paragraph). Each subsequent paragraph after the introduction does focus on one idea. The paragraphs suffer from incomplete sentences, missing words, and conclusions that do not match given facts or assumptions. In paragraph two, sentence four it states that, “Obesity comes from eating junk food, in other words fast food.” However, junk food is not always fast food or vice versa. This is one of the assumptions made based on her opinion with no examples to support its validity. Due to illogical sequencing the given arguments lack coherence and focus making it necessary to re-reading passages. One such example is the third paragraph, fifth sentence. It states, “Physical education can be taken advantage of when required at a college student’s time.”

The style of the essay changes tone from the first four paragraphs which leans toward a formal style; the formality is mainly due to the lack of “I” statements and first person point of view. The conclusion paragraph switches to a less formal almost conversational tone. ...

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...that the manatory classes will have a lifelong impact in a college student’s life is implied. The essay focuses on the main topic with an attempt at a progression of ideas. The paper flows from introduction to focusing on weight, health, nutrition, flexibility, and overall strength of the body with a fourth paragraph that veered off topic as it focused on being a wedding planner and not the topic of the essay. There is structure in each paragraph as it attempts to focus on a one word idea. As a whole, the paper is relatively ineffectual and lacked comprehension. It was also very hard to understand on the first reading which compounded the overall effect. Some of the reasons the essay is hard to understand, include: improper sentence structure, muddled ideas, misused words, grammatical errors, incomplete sentences, missing words, and an overall lack of focus.