Parent-child Bonding

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In each person's life much of the joy and sorrow revolves around attachments or affectionate relationships -- making them, breaking them, preparing for them, and adjusting to their loss by death. Among all of these bonds as a special bond -- the type a mother or father forms with his or her newborn infant. Bonding does not refer to mutual affection between a baby and an adult, but to the phenomenon whereby adults become committed by a one-way flow of concern and affection to children for whom they have cared during the first months and years of life. According to J. Robertson in his book, A Baby in the Family Loving and being Loved, individuals may have from three hundred to four hundred acquaintances in there lifetimes, but at any one time there are only a small number of persons to whom they are closely attached. He explains that much of the richness and beauty of life is derived from these close relationships which each person has with a small number of individuals -- mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, son, daughter, and a small cadre of close friends (Robertson 1).
Attachment is crucial to the survival and development of the infant. Kenneth and Klaus points out that the parents bond to their child may be the strongest of all human ties. This relationship has two unique characteristics. First, before birth one individual infant gestates within a part of the mothers body and second, after birth she ensures his survival while he is utterly dependent on her and until he becomes a separate individual. According to Mercer, the power of this attachment is so great that it enables the mother and father to make the unusual sacrifices necessary for the care of their infant. Day after day, night after night; changing diapers, attending to cries, protecting the child from danger, and giving feed in the middle of the night despite their desperate need to sleep (Mercer 22). It is important to note that this original parent-infant tie is the major source for all of the infant’s subsequent attachment and is the formative relationship in the course of which the child develops a sense of himself. Throughout his lifetime the strength and character of this attachment will influence the quality of all future ties to other individuals. The question is asked, "What is the normal process by which a father and mother become attached to a healthy infant?"...

... middle of paper ...

... a long time to trust anyone." (Berman 36)
Maybe now people (parents) will come to realize that bonding does not only refer to mutual affection between a baby and an adult. But it is the phenomenon whereby adults become committed by a one-way flow of concern and affection for whom they have cared during the first months and years of life.

Works Cited

Berman, Claire. Adult Children of Divorce. Simon and Schuster, New York: 1991.

Brazelton, Bob. The Early Mother-Infant Adjustment. Elsevier Publishing Co. Amsterdam: 1973
.
Kennell, John and Marshall Klaus. Parent-Infant Bonding. The C.V. Mosby Company,Missouri: 1976.

Macfarlene, Rolland. The Relationship between Mother & Neonate. Oxford University Press, New York: 1978.

Mercer, Joe. Mother's Response to Their Infants with Defects. Charles B. Slack Inc., New York: 1974.

Meyers, Susan. Who Will Take the Children? Bobbe-Mervil,Indianapolis/New - York: 1983.
Oaklander, Violet. Windows to our Children. Real People- Press, Utah: 1978.

Robertson, J. A Baby in the Family: Loving and being Loved.Penguin Books, London: Ltd., 1982.
Stewart, Mark A. Raising a Hyperactive Child. London: Harper and Row Publishers, 1973.

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