In the quest to become successful, you strive to become a better person in many aspects of life – your personality, discipline, time management, among others. You even set smaller goals that you can achieve daily. You keep yourself motivated via reading articles, books, and watching videos on self-improvement. One aspect that you could be overlooking is your environment- the friends that you keep. Are they negative?
Truth be told, it is no fun to spend time with negative friends. But before we delve into how to get rid of friends you consider ‘negative’, how do you identify negative friends?
The easiest way is by identifying how they make you feel. Do you feel ‘down’ after spending time with them? Anxious or afraid when they are calling or
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A negative friend however, can only have fun if they are getting wasted, is always in a crisis and needs you to help them clean up, and never chips in on the bill. You find yourself ignoring their calls and when you do pick them up, it is downright draining. You rarely seek out their company, but accommodate them when they initiate a meeting. It is not easy to cut links with such people, but it is possible.
Negative people dump their problems on you but never make any effort to change their situation. They are not supportive and shoot down your ideas, and never encourage you to take risks that will help you become a better person or more successful in life. Let us delve into how to deal with negative friends:
How much are you willing to put up in a friendship?
The first thing to ask yourself is what you are willing to put up with. The best way to think about it is thinking of the friendship as if it were a romantic relationship. Ask yourself whether you would put up with their behavior if they were your partner. If your answer is ‘no’, you have the following available options:
Set boundaries
This involves saying ‘no’ to meetings, or activities which your negative friends make miserable with their
At the beginning of the year the people I was hanging out with are amazing people, but they didn't make me feel welcome at the table. So in the first month of school, I had already switched tables. The friends that I migrated to are good people, who make terrible decisions. They made me feel pressured to hate certain people and act a certain way. I didn't realized how much this had affected my life until recently. Those friends made me feel like I had to have something wrong with me to be different, or fit in with them. When I finally realized what they were doing to me, I left. I moved to another table, these people are the best people ever. They reminded me that I don't have to have something wrong with me to be their friend. This point in my life was just a few weeks ago, and I already feel better than I have in a long time.
them what they think and how it should be resolved. No real friend would jump to
Finding out who someone really is can be a very difficult thing to do. Knowing who some one is inside and out takes time and dedication. I learned that there are a few key factors when getting to know who some one really is. Character determination of a friend can be based on three things, honesty, trust, conflicts, and how they are resolved . The book a separate peace by John Knowles deals with all of these issues in the case of friendship. You can use these three factors to see how good of a friend a person can be, and determine there true character.
... opposite of these good things. For example, given the type of friendship that is associated with internal friendship, a bad man cannot be friends with himself. Evidently, a bad man does not do good things and cannot desire good things for himself.
One of the many ways negativity can help you is by changing people for the better. For example, whenever there is an offense, the first reaction people have is to throw the person in jail. However, studies show that this is not the always the best solution. Mistakes can actually change
By definition a friend is a person who provides assistance and support. We have different groups of friends for different purposes in our lives. Although there are many different categories of friends, Marion Winik author of “What are Friends For?” mentions that some of the more common groups consist of the faraway, work, family, and former friends (132). We keep our friends because we value their loyalty, communication, support, and dependability.
Such experiences include “children, marriage, aging, death, birth, college” (West & Turner, 2016). With the lessons learned with friendships earned and lost over the duration of childhood, there may be some hesitancy on having a person becoming a potential friend in the future. People take things slow, take more time to know the person to determine if this will be either a meaningful friendship that would benefit both people or if it will be just a type of friendship which is just acquaintances and nothing more. There will be at times when that relationship will seem to wane or known as “Waning friendship…friendship intimacy bonds begin to decay; friends spend less and less time together” (West & Turner, 2016). This can happen for a number of reasons such as growing apart, different points of life for two individuals, and loss of interest. As adults, we have essentially categorized ourselves into business professional, student, relaxed, church, etc. Sometimes certain connections to certain circles don’t overlap with others because of the vast differences between them. It is perfectly normal to have casual friendships that don’t require constant meet-ups while other friendships are much closer and intimate because of a familiar
When making friends, you must choose the right ones by observing the person's qualities and how they behave. If the person behaves in a bad way, further away this person may lead you down the wrong path and get you into a lot of trouble. Incommensurate, If the person behaves in a good way, then they may be a good friend to have and lead you down the right path. Consequently, friendship is a very good thing to have with many positive and sadly, negative
In order to find success, both professionally and personally, people often have to navigate through uncomfortable situations. One of the most uncomfortable situations we may have to go through in life is dealing with negative people. While they may be difficult and awkward to handle, negative people are common in all walks of life and all lines of business. Here are 5 tips that can help turn a negative relationship into a positive one:
A friend is someone difficult to find. A friend is someone you can always count on when times are tough. The dictionary's definition of a good friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A good friend is there when you are struggling. For example, when a boy breaks your heart a good friend walks you through it and offers a shoulder to cry on. According to Bree Neff, a good friend is someone who is trustworthy, doesn't talk behind your back, listens to your problems, gives good advice and tries to lend humor along with his or her support. There are also bad friends, those who pretend to care and then turn around gossiping and starting drama. Good and bad friends are all around you, involved in your everyday life. To find good friends you should look for such traits as being kind, trustworthy, loyal and dependable.
goes, "Birds of a feather flock together," so too the social partners have to have several things in common with you. No one is going to want to spend any more time than necessary with somebody completely opposite and aggravating to him. Keep in mind, though, that the biggest thing that distinguishes a "best friend" from a "guest friend" is the fact that "guess friends" usually don’t converse about anything substantial or deep, such as their innermost desires and fears.
In life we come across many people. Some will hate us while others will adore us. The ones who hate us can be referred to as enemies and the ones who show us adoration are referred to as friends. There are three types of friends. They are the aquaintinces we make in school, the friends we loose as one grows, and best friends who may stray, but never too far away.
They’re never at fault for anything. They hurt you and then pretend that they had “no idea” what they did was going to make you upset. You’re made to feel guilty for any and everything that’s going on. They make you feel judge about everything that sets you apart from being an “average Joe”. You always seem to be competing for their attention and they make the friendship completely one sided and you’re sure they wouldn’t notice if you gave up on the friendship completely. My old friend Ulyssa didn’t seem like a bad friend at first because we helped each other out through all of our problems no matter what it was. We were always together or always planned to hang out when we weren’t busy and sometimes it would be awhile before we actually hung out, but when we did we caught up on everything we missed out on. It wasn’t until recently I realized our friendship had changed things seemed to off about her. I told her I needed some advice about what I should do about school and work, but she told me she didn’t knoe then asked me if my place of work was hiring. I was shocked she asked that when I needed her advice that’s when it started to take a turn for the worst. She final found a job at the same Hispanic store I worked at also that was close to home and never replied back to any of my text asking if she wanted to hang
Friendship is the most wonderful relationship that anyone can have. Ideally a friend is a person who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray us. Friends can tell harsh truths when they must be told. There are four different types of friends: True friends, Convenient friends, Special interest friends, and historical friends. To have friendship is to have comfort. In times of crisis and depression, a friend is there to calm us and to help lift up our spirits.
...and goal oriented people you will most likely get the best out of life. If you decide to surround yourself with negative people who don’t have anything to look forward to in life, then you’re setting yourself up to be unsuccessful. Those negative people will try their hardest to bring you down with them.