Love and Relationships
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
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...lationships, but the husband did not change. This angered Carroll and she began to dislike her husband and feel he was mistreating her, which triggered revenge. Through this chain of events the couples miss the real experience of passion. This is all contributed to the innate wiring that is a natural feeling in a human when it is born into the world. This is a basic instinct that alerts a person to protect oneself when it senses something it fears. When couples use their intellect, and deduction along with psychoanalysis to determine love, it could be a bit disappointing. I do agree with Horney. Horney has touched some points, like trust and mistrust, confused emotions start from childhood. Love and power are mixed together and used to control relationships. It’s all a part of the power men want to have to dominate women.
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Of all the materials that we have covered in class so far, one short story has stuck with me more than the others. “The Love of My Life,” by T.C Boyle, is a short fiction that revolves around two young lovers. I’ll admit that when I first started to read this short story, I did not expect it to have the ending that it did. Like most of the stories that we have read so far, I figured that this was going to be another story with abortion as a main theme. Although I wasn’t wrong about it being a pregnancy gone wrong themed story, I didn’t expect the ending to be as gruesome as it actually was. What Boyle did was take a recurrent theme, in this case pregnancy, and twist it into something much more disturbing in my opinion.
Prompt #3: “Most often, literary works have both internal conflict (individual v. self) and external conflict (individual v. individual, society, nature, or technology)”.
The article, “Measurement of Romantic Love” written by Zick Rubin, expresses the initial research aimed at presenting and validating the social-psychological construct of romantic love. The author assumed that love should be measured independently from liking. In this research, the romantic love was also conceptualized to three elements: affiliative and depend need, an orientation of exclusiveness and absorption, and finally a predisposition to help.
They should be able to open themselves up to their significant other, and share everything that they feel with them. Doyle’s words suggest however, that not even they can provide the companionship their spouse needs. Doyle then goes on to mention that in youth people have childlike dreams that someone will eventually come into their lives forever. Their love and affection should “. . . savor and sustain us always . . .” (Doyle 143). However, as people grow older, the hurts and bruises that the heart sustains will never truly go away. These bruises eventually lead people to build walls around their hearts. While they continue to try and love, the walls further encase them in hurt and sorrow, causing them to become closed off and alone. This restricts other relationships, leading people to only act as “. . . open windows to each . . .” (Doyle
Jealousy is an emotional state that erupts when a valued relationship is being threatened (Buss et al., 1992). Men and women both express jealousy tendencies when they feel their romantic relationships are being threatened. Many researchers have studied sex differences in romantic jealousy to investigate at what particular time do men and women feel the most distressed or jealous. For instance, Bus et al. (1992) and Harris and Christenfeld (1996), found that men feel more distressed when they think their romantic partner is engaging in sexual infidelity, whereas women feel more distressed when they think their romantic partner is emotionally attached to someone else. These findings may be very insightful and useful to many of us who experience jealousy episodes; but importantly, it will allow us to investigate the validity of the evolutionary theory that is used to explain most sex differences. In the following paragraphs, I will describe the evolutionary theory that explains sex differences in jealousy and four related empirical studies. Lastly, I will
... own childhood; no matter it are security and nurturing or abandonment and neglect, guidance and respect, or abuse and disdain. Not only the man becomes psychologically or physically abusive, but he is also aggressive towards his partner whenever he feels that his experience of rejection and consecutive disruption cannot be soothed by the defence that he mounted. Those people with a history of neglect or abuse, they usually not able to have confident in their partners whereby they perceive their partners as enemies instead of allies. These abusive relationships are often repeatable becoming more intense as if the man is riding on a rollercoaster ride. The rejection-abusive cycle is considered complete when the man felt he is not appreciated as his unrealistic expectation on relationships is not fulfilled - closeness and intimacy, in other words, further rejection.
In Aldrous Huxley’s A Brave New World, pleasure is the main driving force in life. The government uses tools such as the wonder drug soma and the endorphins naturally released during and after sexual intercourse to keep the minds of their well-tended flock off of matters that might concern them if they had not previously been conditioned to resort to a vice the moment that they begin to conceive an ill thought. Lenina 's adulation of John, the Savage, is perhaps one of the more obvious triggers of soma usage within the novel. Lenina does not understand John 's concept of love, and attempts to show her affection in the only way she knows how, and that is by having sex with him. She thinks this is a normal act, but for him, it is sanctity. John believes that one should only express their passion through sex if they are married as is the custom on the reservation. This leads John to call Lenina many obscene names and to send her into the tender arms of soma instead. She merely wishes him to reciprocate her advances, which she would take as meaning that he was happy to be with her. She simply wants the both of them to be joyous in their carnal revelry but “Happiness is a hard master – particularly other people 's happiness. A much harder master, if one isn 't conditioned to accept it unquestioningly, than truth” (Huxley 227, Brave New World). John and Lenina are very different people however, as Lenina tells Bernard “I don 't understand … why you don 't take
As people grow, a variety of relationships develop over time. Relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners are such examples of these diverse ties. Friendships in particular are affected by the following: the level of interaction involved, how communication between two friends is established, and contact, if they exist, between multiple circles of friends through one person. Some examples of these are friendship expectations, the stages of childhood friendship, and the stages of adult friendship.
Ninety percent of Americans marry by the time that they are fifty; however, forty to fifty percent of marriages end in divorce ("Marriage and Divorce"). Love and marriage are said to go hand in hand, so why does true love not persist? True, whole-hearted, and long-lasting love is as difficult to find as a black cat in a coal cellar. Loveless marriages are more common than ever, and the divorce rate reflects this. The forms of love seen between these many marriages is often fleeting. Raymond Carver explores these many forms of love, how they create happiness, sadness, and anything in between, and how they contrast from true love, through his characters in "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". Four couples are presented: Mel and Terri, Nick and Laura, Ed and Terri, and, most importantly, an unnamed elderly couple; each couple exhibits a variation on the word love.
Envy and Love In Kelly Link’s collection of short stories Get in Trouble, the story “The New Boyfriend” talks about how envy in relationships and how it is a metaphor for relationships we have in the real world. One reviewer writes, “Link perfectly mimics the cadences of teenagers talking to one another, the sniping and jealousy and longing. The story is hilarious as it plays with romance and vampire conventions, and it’s explores the notion of teenagers girls trying on love for the first time, and figuring out what it is you’re “supposed” to do”(Wolitzer np). In this story, Link focuses on how adolescents deal with jealousy and love when trying to navigate relationships. In order to understand how relationships work in this story, the encounters
Has there ever been a time where you have experienced true love, but everything was not what you expected? You thought everything was at the forefront but there was a deeper meaning to things. Well in the poem “First Love: A Quiz”, A.E. Stallings introduces you to the deeper side of things. This poem doesn’t consist of many literary devices, but Stallings uses her choice of words to make the reader give thought to the text, and to the story being told of Persephone and Hades. The structure of the poem also helps to better understand the actual meaning of the poem. As you read this “quiz” everything gets very abstract and your options become harder and harder to choose from.
Robert Nozick’s Love’s Bond is a clear summary of components, goals, challenges, and limitations of romantic love. Nozick gives a description of love as having your wellbeing linked with that of someone and something you love. I agree with ideas that Nozick has explained concerning the definition of love, but individuals have their meaning of love. Every individual has a remarkable thing that will bring happiness and contentment in their lives. While sometimes it is hard to practice unconditional love, couples should love unconditionally because it is a true love that is more than infatuation and overcomes minor character flaw.
Reading and Writing connection relationship is an integrated skill that involves the manipulation of words and the ideas they express in groups, paragraphs, poems, novels, and reports, etc. Reading and writing work together as one depends on the other; however, when you learn to read, you are also becoming familiar with the way letters and words fit together to create meanings. (Vandermey, 2012) Writing is designed for communication; therefore, when you write you are sending a message to the reader to visualize what is being said.
Eavan Boland’s poem “Love” comes from her collection entitled In a Time of Violence. In the piece Boland both reflects on the history of her and her husband’s love and ties it in with the story of a hero who travels to hell. The poem’s form is stanzaic, broken into 7 stanzas with 38 lines. “Love” is rich with metaphor, simile, personification and imagery. The poem makes constant allusion to Greek Mythology, and the author’s story runs parallel to that of Odysseus from Homer’s “The Odyssey” . Boland is able to convey the journey loves take throughout the course of a relationship and how it is affected during difficult times.
Throughout most of my life I have gained friendships and relationships with others that have turned into long term, but others which only lasted a short while. The friendship that has greatly impacted my life significantly over the last eight years is someone who means so much to me. This meaningful friendship all started back when I was in middle school, which has grown stronger over the years. I met Brooke in middle school because we had some of the same classes and were in homeroom together. Our friendship developed quickly and lasted throughout our high school years. We became really close our Junior and Senior year of high school. But, maintaining our friendship hasn’t always been so easy. Today, we text and call each other on our free time, but I know I can count and rely on her when I need someone to talk too. I call her my second sister and vice versa. And when we go home on breaks we see one another as much as we can. The best part of our relationship is that if one is in need of advice or in need of a shoulder to cry on, we are always there for one another. Keeping in contact is very important in our relationship and communication has played a key role in our relationship.