Importance Of Reconciliation: The Restoration Of Friendly Relations

• Reconciliation: the restoration of friendly relations.
• Reconciliation takes many forms. There is not one way for reconciliation to take place.
• Full reconciliation takes place when trust can be established and both parties have gotten over unpleasant events of the past.
• “Full reconciliation is not always appropriate, as not all relationships or relationship partners are safe” (Kelley, 128). –It is important to realize when to get out of unhealthy relationships.
• Three foundational aspects of reconciliation: trust, commitment, and emotional healing.
• Kelley believes that all communication is reconciliation. –Every time we connect with a partner we are really reconnecting.
• Look at relationships and see how you will reconnect with

• Both partners need to have the ability and willingness to reestablish commitment and restore trust in the relationship.
• Commitment is the “‘the extent to which each partner intends to persist in the relationship, feels psychologically attached to it, and exhibits long-term orientation toward it”’ (Kelley, 129). –Work for my good and our good.
• The driving force of commitment is trust. There is no way to guarantee trust in a relationship.
• ‘“Trust represents conviction regarding the strength of a partner’s commitment”’ (Kelley, 130).
• Trust is needed in order to mend relationships and reestablish interdependence, as well as, intimacy. –If we create a space for something good to happen, it will (need to create a space of growing levels of trust).
• Trust can take place when people are in a safe space.
• Can be done by stating your commitment to your partner. –Actions have to follow words.
• There has to be a balance of give (obligations) and take (entitlements) within relationships in order for there to be justice (Kelley, 130).
• The work of forgiveness is defined as an effort in restoring love and trustworthiness to relationships, which leads to

• “Apology means creating a safe place for reconciliation” (Kelley, 132). –Need to apologize in order to have full reconciliation.
• Apology can be crucial to demonstrating remorse, and understanding of the past, and hope for a just future.
• A genuine apology needs emotions and nonverbal that show remorse/empathy. Are also future-oriented, including a promise of restitution when necessary, and specific details of what will change.
• Full apologies create spaces where partners once again commit to and trust one another.
• By using our imagination we see others’ problems and pains, external contingencies and internal limitations. –Imagination also gives us hope.
• Genuine dialogue allows just relationships to take place. It creates a link in the present between the past and the future, it also connects individuals with others in their lives. When people are in genuine dialogue with others they are present, together, which allow people to be human and create a just future