Identity In Boys And Girls By Alice Munro

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The lens in which loved ones view a person dictates their journey on the path to self-discovery. This social influence on a person’s sense of self is exemplified through the short story “Boys and Girls” by Alice Munro. “Boys and Girls,” tells the tale of the pressures placed on a young lady to conform to society's idea of the perfect woman. It showcases how the expectations and ideals of loved ones can negatively influence a person’s identity. Those that are seen as important to someone can affect self-perception through the reinforcement of opposing ideas, , and weakening of others. One’s view of themselves can only be influenced by those they allow. A person’s reflection in the eyes of those they love is the foundation in which self-identity …show more content…

However, this guidance begins to take a negative turn when a parent’s helping hand is used to bring their children down rather than lifting them up. This is a reality for the main character in “Boys and Girls”, as for the majority of the story, she is undermined and overlooked by the people she loved and respected. The girl's mother initializes this depreciation through her statement saying, “wait till Laird gets a little bigger, then you'll have a real help."(page 4) This seemingly innocent comment shrinks the character’s sacrifices for her family’s business to something trivial and immaterial. Her mother’s hushed remarks on her daughter significantly affect herself as she is suddenly exposed to a world of clearly defined gender roles where she cannot participate in the “masculine” activities she loves because she is not a boy. She begins to view herself as insignificant and worthless because of the way she is seen by her mother based solely on her being female. The girl’s mother is not the only person to minimize the girl’s self-worth, but their family friend Henry Bailey plays a significant role. Mr Bailey is described as being practically a part of the household and always present at their home. Her respect for Mr Bailey is best illustrated on page 1 where the girl explains that she “admired him for his performance and for his ability to make his stomach growl at will, and for his …show more content…

The transition the young girl experiences as a result of her loved one’s relentless judgement displays its adverse effects. Although Boys and Girls can be seen as a story on the effects society has on self-perception, it directly points at familial interactions. Her loved ones pressuring of perfection, scapegoating, and belittling unveils the damage that can be caused. The girl’s blindness towards the negativity radiating off her family members resulted in her loss of identity. “We define our identity always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the things our significant others want to see in us”. This quote accurately describes the young girl as she adapts and changes herself into what she believes everyone around her wants to see. Her desire to please others works against her as it hinders her from discovering her true identity. The main character lost her ultimate treasure in an attempt to gain acceptance from her family,

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