I Hate Myself

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Initially, my theme was inspired by the shooting at UCSB. I was horrified by the news and wanted to do something, anything to speak out against such a travesty. As I watched the video the shooter had made detailing his plans to murder women because women would not have sex with him, I was reminded of the other instances in which men are socially taught to control and feel entitled to women’s bodies. Scarcely a week earlier, I had been ‘catcalled’ at in the street, and the man shouting at me had then gotten out of his car and chased me down until I would speak with him. I knew that, for my own personal catharsis, I needed to reflect upon how corrupt our world has become. I needed to do it now because the shooting showed that male entitlement has become fatal. Nevertheless, it was difficult for me to develop a “question” related to my theme. I knew exactly what my subject should be, but not how to focus it. As Meaghen suggested I direct my presentation toward a particular group of people, however, a question began to form in my mind. By making the choice to make women my audience—which then gave me the inspiration to instill hope in my fellow women—I found my question: What can we do to change how many men feel entitled to women?
In my composition, I did my best to be aware of how I used topography throughout my performance. I wanted to convey that the male sense of entitlement to women was both heavy and constricting. The beginning of my performance used as little of the stage’s space as possible. Even within the first movement piece, I created a small area and stayed within it. After I cut my hair, however, I began to make more use of the space. I especially focused on the space to my left at this point, because at the beginning ...

... middle of paper ...

..., love, or anything else from a woman. Mostly, however, I want to work with women. I hope to inspire the women I love and the women I work to help in moving on from tragedies like the one at UCSB. I hope that I can help women in restoring their ability to feel that they own their own bodies.

Works Cited

Agabond, Julian. “Why Do the Japanese Draw Themselves as White?” Sociological
Images. The Society Pages, 30 Aug. 2010. Web. 16 Jun. 2014.
GLAAD. 2013 Where We Are on TV. GLAAD, 2013. Web. 19 May 2014.
Rocero, Geena. “Why I Must Come Out.” Online video clip. TED. TED Conferences,
Mar. 2014. Web. 14 May 2014.
Stasko, Carly. Girls who Bite Back: Witches, Mutants, Slayers and Freaks. Toronto:
Sumach, 2004. Print.
Velasquez, Lizzie. “How Do YOU Define Yourself Lizzie Velasquez at
TEDxAustinWomen.” Online video clip. Youtube. Youtube, 20 Dec. 2013. Web. 5 May 2014.

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